Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
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Synopsis:
Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised.
With some messy dynamics emerging in his once tight-knit group of friends, and his email correspondence with Blue growing more flirtatious every day, Simon’s junior year has suddenly gotten all kinds of complicated. Now, change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.
It’s chilly and unnaturally quiet-if Abby weren’t with me, I would have to drown out the silence with music. It feels like we’re the last survivors of a zombie apocalypse. Wonder Woman and a gay dementor. It doesn’t bode well for the survival of the species.
So…this is new. A little birdie Alien told me that I just haaaddddd to read this. So I did. I asked her what I should read over my weekend getaway and this was her response. No, it wasn’t particularly what I would have chosen for myself, and no-I don’t think I’ll read a ton like this because…okay, I’ll get to that later. But, my point is, this book was just what I needed.
I take a sip of my beer, and it’s-I mean, it’s just astonishingly disgusting. I don’t think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I’d rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin.
Anyway, it really makes you wonder about the hype surrounding sex.
Every once in a while we just need a book to, I don’t know, reset everything. Reset your mood, reset your genre, reset your view of life-whatever you need reset, really. So, yeah, this is completely out of my comfort zone, but it was just so damn cute that I hardly cared. This book was a complete breath of fresh air because, and I’m speaking extremely candidly here, I had literally zero expectations. Zilch. Nada. None. So, to say I was impressed and surprised would be an understatement.
“That’s seriously bullshit,” says Mila. “You need to just talk to him.” And then she sees me standing there listening and shoots me the stink-eye.
So here’s the thing: Simon means ‘the one who hears’ and Spier means ‘the one who watches.’ Which means I was basically destined to be nosy.
Now, let’s not mistake my being honest for being biased or cruel-I like what I like and other people like what they like and that’s awesome-really, it is. And it’s even harder reading about something that isn’t….what you…I don’t know…picture? It’s just hard for me to fathom this. And I’m okay with that-I loved literally every minute of this story, obviously, if you can’t tell by my rating. I actually was at a 5 for most of the story, if you can believe it, which I can’t. I read this on the way home from Cedar Point (Yeah, see, I loved it so much that I read in the mother effin’ car!! I have NEVER done this. Ever. So, see? Much enjoyment) But the minute it’s revealed who the guy is (I knew it, by the way-so cute), things took that turn I’m uncomfortable with. You know what I’m saying…kissing and the like. And that’s my fault! So, literally I loved this, I just couldn’t ‘get into’ those scenes at the end. Only negative-literally.
But now that I said my only dislike, let’s get to everything I loved, which was almost everything. What I said above doesn’t mean I didn’t adore the end-it was perfection. Everything leading up to that moment made it all the more special and I couldn’t help but to smile like a goon. And the fact that it was YA really helped, too, if I’m honest. It’s my favorite genre, and especially for this it was really toned down.
“Okay, well, I’m taking over your bathroom now. Time for the transformation.”
“Sounds good,” I say. “I’ll transform in here.”
Nora looks up from her book. “Simon. Eww.”
“It’s a dementor robe over my clothes. I think you’ll survive.”
“What’s a dementor?”
I mean, I can’t even.
Simon was just such an amazing character. I mean, everything he said made me smile so big it was on the deranged side, and the minute our road trip home started, I fell into my impenetrable personal bubble. I think I rode home with three other people…was I supposed to be talking to them? Whoops. Guess I’m an antisocial ass-Nose in a book and no regrets. My point? I wanted Simon to be my friend. He was so funny and witty and and his inner thoughts absolutely slayed me. I highlighted so much of his inner thoughts that I am going to have a difficult time picking out quotes. He thinks just like me…..but it’s actually funny when he thinks it.
“Are you guys going to rehearsal today?”
“Oh, it’s optional now?” I ask. And then I do this thing I picked up from Leah, where you kind of cut your eyes to the side and narrow them. It’s more subtle than rolling your eyes. Much more effective.
And then the friendships. Omg I just loved Abby, especially. I loved the friendship, the shoulder to lean on, the ear to spill all secrets to…all his friends just surrounded him with such love, adoration, and loyalty that it made my heart burst. Simon goes through a difficult period, guys, all because of an instance of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s cruel. It’s not right…but the support system that rallies behind him? That possibly warmed my heart the most.
“Mom,” I say.
She tips her palms up.
“Come on. Please.” Already, Nora’s opening up the car door.
“I’m open to negotiating,” she says.
“For what?”
“One night of parole in exchange for ten minutes of access to your Facebook.”
Jesus Christ.
“Five,” I say. “Supervised.”
So, yeah. I loved this. And I think it’s kind of an ‘everybody’ book. It’s unoffensive and makes you laugh, and it’s so different from anything you’ve ever read. Blue is his secret guy, and they email back and forth through the whole story so you never know who it is, but you continually guess. Your heart breaks for Simon, for his inner turmoil and need to meet Blue. The way he reaches out to him…I just adored it. So, I don’t quite know who to rec this to, but I know that people could love it. I was in the right mood and it made my spirits soar-maybe it will yours, too.
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Aw shucks, guys…..this was just way too cute:
Yeah. It was like a Disney movie montage. Adorbs. (Yeah I went there)
Review to come ♥
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Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda?? How about:
Anna vs. Chelsea’s Peril Agenda
Surriously. She’s killing me with the begging and unrefined puppy dog kitty cat eyes.
Charm and Strange by 
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Cracked (
Uprooted by 
