Author: Chelsea (Page 9 of 111)

BOOK REVIEW: A Deadly Education (The Scholomance #1) by Naomi Novik

February 3, 2022 / Chelsea / 2 Comments

A Deadly Education (The Scholomance #1)
by Naomi Novik
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of Uprooted and Spinning Silver comes the first book of the Scholomance trilogy, the story of an unwilling dark sorceress who is destined to rewrite the rules of magic.

FINALIST FOR THE LODESTAR AWARD • “The dark school of magic I’ve been waiting for.”—Katherine Arden, author of Winternight Trilogy

I decided that Orion Lake needed to die after the second time he saved my life.

Everyone loves Orion Lake. Everyone else, that is. Far as I’m concerned, he can keep his flashy combat magic to himself. I’m not joining his pack of adoring fans.

I don’t need help surviving the Scholomance, even if they do. Forget the hordes of monsters and cursed artifacts, I’m probably the most dangerous thing in the place. Just give me a chance and I’ll level mountains and kill untold millions, make myself the dark queen of the world.

At least, that’s what the world expects. Most of the other students in here would be delighted if Orion killed me like one more evil thing that’s crawled out of the drains. Sometimes I think they want me to turn into the evil witch they assume I am. The school certainly does.

But the Scholomance isn’t getting what it wants from me. And neither is Orion Lake. I may not be anyone’s idea of the shining hero, but I’m going to make it out of this place alive, and I’m not going to slaughter thousands to do it, either.

Although I’m giving serious consideration to just one.

With flawless mastery, Naomi Novik creates a school bursting with magic like you’ve never seen before, and a heroine for the ages—a character so sharply realized and so richly nuanced that she will live on in hearts and minds for generations to come. The magic of the Scholomance trilogy continues in The Last Graduate.

“You know, it’s almost impressive,” he said after a moment, sounding less wobbly. “You’re nearly dead and you’re still the rudest person I’ve ever met. You’re welcome again, by the way.”

It goes without saying, at this point, that I am obsessed and would die for character driven stories: if not for the most amazing buildups, for the agonizingly painful build up to something almost always extraordinary. Do I think this book had some epic end? I don’t know-I think it was epic, in its own right, but it wasn’t some crazy battle to the end or anything. What it 1000% DID accomplish, though, was one of the most satisfying cherries on top of an incredulous El sundae, where we get the most gratifying payoff of the cutest non-storyline ever. Seriously. I know, vagueness is vague but….it’s good. It’s worth it. It’s just so deliciously underhandedly subtle and fleshed out. The genius behind this…I still can’t put my finger on how it made such a dark story so cute.

I’d like to claim I couldn’t bring myself to go, but I’ve got quite well-developed willpower when it comes to doing necessary work. I just have very little willpower when it comes to indulging petty resentment.

But enough of that. This book was so much darker than I ever thought it would be. It honestly makes me wonder if my radar is off, if my mind is inexplicably broken, if I have some gear that’s broken inside my brain for how little my radar has protected me lately. I guess I’m just coasting through books these days, assuming because it’s labeled YA it won’t be weird or nasty or downright gory-I’ve seen more gore in YA lately than I’ve seen in years, it feels like (I’m not complaining), and I owe it all to my lack of being in the loop for years because of my children. It’s a weird sort of vindication to have found so many wins in one year/one summer, and I’m really immersing myself to the point it’s onto the next one each time I put a book down. I’m a monster. I’m insatiable. And this book was just another I added to my 5 star pile in 2021.

…probably every instinct he had was now going wild with the desire to put a stop to my not-yet-begun reign of terror. Naturally that made me want to go and launch said reign of terror immediately, but first I had to sit through two hours of language and one of Maleficaria Studies.

Which, can I just say, is just so refreshing. I don’t even truly know how I’m reading, at the moment, as I can’t seem to shake my illness, but I am demolishing each book thrown at me, and I’ve re-read two different sets of stories back to back within a few months. Who even am I? That being said, this poor book probably shouldn’t have stood a chance. I mean, I kept picking it up and eventually zoning out, yet it held my attention so raptly that I couldn’t help to forge on through the plague of zombie-mindedness. I am shocked I got even a flicker of a feel, seeing as how I feel emotionless and dead inside-but, hey, perhaps this was the perfect read, as the snark was at a 10/10 level, and it kept me laughing long into the night.

Boys often think for about ten seconds that they might want to go out with me, and then they look into my eyes or talk to me and I suppose get the strong impression I’m likely to devour their souls or something. Also, in Orion’s case, I’d been aggressively rude to him and nearly got him killed by mimics.

But, aside from what I was talking about earlier and will probably [but definitely will] expand on, the thing that worked most for this book was the level of anger and snark that emanated off of our dark heroine. It actually almost broke my heart how mean she was to Orion, but he seemed to like it so who am I to feel bad for the poor dude? At one point I felt so inexplicably drawn to her inner thoughts that I had to do a double take to make sure it wasn’t ME who was talking. The way she ALWAYS has to get something snarky in, the way she views everything, the way she portrays it to us and breaks it down into a hilarious, dark version with morbid humor about every situation added much needed levity to a book centered around a school that basically devours it’s students to keep it running (but why).

Thanks to my freshman-year Maleficaria Studies textbook, I know that our deliciousness goes up another order of magnitude every six months between thirteen and eighteen, all wrapped up inside a thin and easy-to-break sugar shell instead of the tough chewy hide of a grown wizard. That’s not a metaphor I made up myself: it’s straight out of the book, which took a lot of pleasure telling us in loads of detail just how badly the maleficaria want to eat us: really, really badly.

And I can’t even begin to describe how this book helped me kind of coast through the worst days of my illness, but it did. I don’t know how, but her inner ramblings-which are 90% of the book, seriously-just spoke to me on a higher level, one that kept me grounded and not so miserable. Perhaps because she was so miserable herself? I suppose that’s something that people should know, going in, if you live under a rock-this author is very wordy (Uprooted, anyone? Another FAV!) and doesn’t rush any one under any circumstance for any reason. And that’s why it’s so amazing once you make it to the end-it’s always extraordinary, even if its unconventionally so.

Instead I’ve spent three years putting it off and coming up with convoluted plans for how I was going to arrange my dramatic revelation and meanwhile, at the first chance I got, I just started being as rude as I could to every enclave kid who crossed my path. I’d certainly done my very best to chase Orion off. If he wasn’t a towering weirdo who liked that in a person, I’d have succeeded.

And finally, my favorite favorite plot point: The whole plot literally revolves around our MC’s vehement denial that she and Orion are dating. I was lol’ing the. Whole. Time. Like clockwork when she’d ground it out of her clenched teeth or in her mind, her little reassurances to make sure we readers knew she knew better and it annoyed her people thought so. And that’s the other thing-she spoke to us sometimes, addressing us as readers, and it cracked me up, too. I am so odd, but it just made me chuckle.

My anger’s a bad guest, my mother likes to say: comes without warning and stays a long time.

So, in the end, I guess I never even knew what this book was about, because it was nothing I’d have ever expected. I still really don’t get it, but I guess that’s the fun of it, and that’s what makes the Orion and Galadriel moments that much sweeter. I can’t say it’s for everyone (it’s definitely not), but for those, like me, that like bitch humor, snark, and character driven plots…it’s literally a hole in one.

***********

Literally my favorite storyline (and it’s arguably a large portion of the plot, if you ask me (I know you didn’t, but)) in the book is the ‘We are NOT dating’ struggle the MC passionately shuts down throughout the novel-seriously, it’s like a subtle plot that slayed me. And Orion’s complete obliviousness to the whole debacle lol. 5 stars just for that hilarious drama

RTC

BOOK REVIEW: The Love Hypothesis (The Love Hypothesis #1) by Ali Hazelwood

February 1, 2022 / Chelsea / 4 Comments

The Love Hypothesis (The Love Hypothesis #1)
by Ali Hazelwood
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
As a third-year Ph.D. candidate, Olive Smith doesn't believe in lasting romantic relationships--but her best friend does, and that's what got her into this situation. Convincing Anh that Olive is dating and well on her way to a happily ever after was always going to take more than hand-wavy Jedi mind tricks: Scientists require proof. So, like any self-respecting biologist, Olive panics and kisses the first man she sees.

That man is none other than Adam Carlsen, a young hotshot professor--and well-known ass. Which is why Olive is positively floored when Stanford's reigning lab tyrant agrees to keep her charade a secret and be her fake boyfriend. But when a big science conference goes haywire, putting Olive's career on the Bunsen burner, Adam surprises her again with his unyielding support and even more unyielding... six-pack abs.

Suddenly their little experiment feels dangerously close to combustion. And Olive discovers that the only thing more complicated than a hypothesis on love is putting her own heart under the microscope.

Review:

His hand closed into a fist on the table, jaw clenched tight as he nodded. “Awesome. We could chat about how nice this place is—” “It’s appalling.” “—or the taste of the sushi—” “Foot.” “—or the best movie in the Fast and Furious franchise—” “Fast Five. Though I have a feeling you’re going to say—” “Tokyo Drift.” “Right.” He sighed.

No words can truly describe what I’m feeling right now. Surely they’re inadequate-or repetitive-since all I’ve done is gush about contemporaries for weeks now, but there’s something more, I fear, to be said that hasn’t before. I don’t quite know what it is, but in all the books I’ve read within the last month, they’ve all had such an intensely unique quality so embedded into them that you couldn’t possibly take away their ability to reach deep into your soul…if that is, in fact, what you were looking for. But no, The Love Hypothesis didn’t necessarily knock any of my other new discoveries out of top place, only…joined them. But I’d be lying if I said the word I was looking for wasn’t ‘special’. This book was special. And I think the damnedest thing is this-it’s special simply for coming into existence, and special because of the wonderful things it made me feel.

“Though, I’ve been thinking about this a lot.” He waited patiently for her to continue. “And I think that it would be best if we laid down some ground rules. Before starting.” “Ground rules?” “Yes. You know. What we are allowed and not allowed to do. What we can expect from this arrangement. I think that’s pretty standard protocol, before embarking on a fake-dating relationship.” He tilted his head. “Standard protocol?” “Yup.” “How many times have you done this?” “Zero. But I am familiar with the trope.” “The . . . what?” He blinked at her, confused.

Cut the melodrama and what you really have here is just a perfectly imperfect romance book that busted through my not-so-intact-at-the-moment crusty exterior. It really just slid into it’s place beside The Spanish Love Deception and You Deserve Each Other like it belonged and…that’s not wrong? It’s scarily accurate how happy this book made me. That’s not to say it didn’t have its flaws that did poke at me, but, in a way, they were so minute, so worthless a flaw that I really struggle to even bring them up.

“You put in expired contacts?” He sounded personally offended. “Just a little expired.” “What’s ‘a little’?” “I don’t know. A few years?” “What?” His consonants were sharp and precise. Crisp. Pleasant. “Only just a couple, I think.” “Just a couple of years?” “It’s okay. Expiration dates are for the weak.” A sharp sound—some kind of snort. “Expiration dates are so I don’t find you weeping in the corner of my bathroom.”

Did it perhaps have too many amazing tropes? Did the love interest fall right into the category of enemy turned ally turned friend turned ‘oh wait he is and was always into me’? Was Olive your typically dense about who the hero is into heroine?

Yes. The answer is all of the above. But here’s the kicker-where some may label these weaknesses, they are actually their strengths. (Yes, this whole paragraph was a love letter to Michael Scott.)

I like tried and true tropes. They are just….I’m sorry-if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But, like, do it better? And did the author do them ‘better’? I don’t know, really, but what I DO know is that she did them well. And, I’m just going to say it here: I freaking LOVE the inexperienced heroine trope. SUE ME. I DO NOT CARE. When done right…that shit is

And here…it was just…okay: admission time. My weak little fantasy heart about burst every minute of every part of these last few books because of the-ahem-intimate scenes because I. DO NOT. READ. MANY. SEX SCENES. So. All these contemporaries I’m devouring at once (unintentional but I’ve leaned into it)? They are sending my libido into a spiral because she is not used to using the red hot sweaty emoji…and I have sent it to Arielle no less than…hmmm….30 times between these three top books I’ve read? I can’t even.

Like I said, I’m goo, and I’m a sucker for these tropes and I will clearly die on that hill, but-I digress-back to this particular….thing. This was done so well. So NOT cheesy. So NOT uncomfortable or weird or out of the park that not once did I kind of pause and think about how to digest that sentiment (lol) or that move, or that moment. It was perfect. It was adorable. It just totally made the book. It made me so giddy and so happy and gave me the most butterflies. And….this is the first time I’ve ever (in recent history, perhaps I did years ago) addressed sex in my review. I steer clear of that but this-It feels important, ya know? And, oddly, I hold it near and dear to my heart, clutched closely within my talons.

It was an even fancier hotel, and Olive rolled her eyes, wondering why people felt the need to waste thousands of dollars in lodgings for Adam Carlsen when he barely paid attention to his surroundings. They should just give him a cot and donate the money to worthy causes. Endangered whales. Psoriasis. Olive.

BUT. ANYWAY. Enough of writing about sex like a creep-Olive. Olive was that heroine that you find yourself so protective over. I’ve read quite a few contemps in this abomination of a binge and I’ve rolled my eyes a LOT at the naivety of these MCs. AS IF YOU COULD NOT TELL THESE MEN ARE IN LOVE WITH YOU- COME. ON. But Olive. She’s-again-special.

“Carlsen. Is he blackmailing you? Did he find out that you’re an aberration and pee in the shower?” “First of all, it’s time efficient.” Olive glared. “Second, I find it oddly flattering that you’d think Carlsen would go to these ridiculous lengths to get me to date him.” “Anyone would, Ol. Because you’re awesome.” Anh grimaced before adding, “Except when you’re peeing in the shower.”

She has this thing where she doesn’t process emotions, doesn’t really fall too deep, doesn’t…feel things. I don’t know. She’s been alone in the world, so she doesn’t want to cross any lines to lose the ones she DOES have in her life (excusing a few missteps, I’d say), and her social cues are okay at best. And instead of it annoying me when she assumes things and doesn’t quite get it-or understand-what’s going on, it’s endearing (to me), precious. You want her to see but…then again…you LIKE her NOT to see because you know that payoff will be, again…

SPOILER ALERT: It was. It was SO worth it. My lord.

He studied her for a few seconds. “Does that seem like a likely scenario to you?” “About as likely as me fake-dating you.” He nodded, as if conceding her point. “Okay. Black, I guess.” She snorted. “Figures.” “What’s wrong with black?” He frowned. “It’s not even a color. It’s no colors, technically.” “It’s better than vomit green.” “No, it isn’t.” “Of course it is.”

And then Adam-Dr. Carlsen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate all these special men Chelsea has decided to horde in her closet? There’s enough room, it’s a walk-in. I gave them each their own shelf for when I’m feeling low (tonight is one of those, I wonder who I’ll visit? (ADAM)). Joking (Not really). But Adam. Dear, sweet Adam. Man, what an ass. What an absolute ass to not care what people think of him. To not care they might judge him because he is dating a student. What a JERK to jump right on board to help Olive out, to always be there for her and to provide her with days worth of food because she really can’t afford it herself. Man. I just can’t. I can’t believe this asshole, always looking out for Olive. (See. See what I did there?)

“Adam? Are you okay?” He stared at her cup and took a step back. “The smell of that thing.” Olive inhaled deeply. Heaven. “You hate pumpkin spice latte?” He wrinkled his nose, moving even farther away. “Gross.” “How can you hate it? It’s the best thing your country has produced in the past century.” “Please, stand back. The stench.” “Hey. If I have to choose between you and pumpkin spice latte, maybe we should rethink our arrangement.” He eyed her cup like it contained radioactive waste. “Maybe we should.”

All jokes aside, Adam was that silent guy, the eat your feelings guy, the one who inevitably has unrequited love for a girl who doesn’t see him as anything other than the most highly acclaimed professor at her university and most notably known jerk and know-it-all. But you can see, always, what he is doing for her, how he is always there for her when she needs it, when she’s low-always encouraging her and her biggest support. And when she is breaking his heart with her words, I LOVED this author for highlighting those moments, letting us see the jaw clench (yesss), the shuttered eyes of disappointment (ohhh boy), and the swallows-oh those tortured male lead gulps of ‘I’ll take whatever you give me but damn if you’re not breaking my heart’ (mmmmmm OMGGGGG combusting). As you can see, I am not impartial and I am biased. Take of this review what you will.

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you”

All this being said, I’ve only really gushed and only really talked about things in a super spazz manner (There is a reason I wait a couple days after finishing to write a more coherent review) and probably haven’t convinced you one way or another-your loss-other than deciding I’m off my rocker and you really now know I am certifiably crazy, you’ve confirmed this (though, to be fair, I’ve warned you many a time). But, I like to think that the happiest moments are what will drive a reader to WANT to try a book. When I see a quote I love from a book I don’t know, and I get those INSTANT butterflies…I know I’m in for, at minimum, at least that one epic moment that the quote was derived from. And, ya know, that’s really what reading is about. Yes, a couple things bothered me, and it took a while for me to decide I loved it…but when I did? It was magical. And I hope it’ll be magical for you, too.

“I’m starting to wonder if this is what being in love is. Being okay with ripping yourself to shreds, so the other person can stay whole.”

*****

Guys. Guys. My heart. My heart. I cannot form words. I cannot form sentences. I’m laying here in a pile of goo feels and I don’t WANT to be whole again. This book was so perfectly imperfect and just…all the best tropes. I want to cocoon myself in these feelings and never let go…but that’s not how it works and I’ll just have to find a way to hold onto this feeling for as long as possible.

For now? Rereading all my favorite parts. They include Adam, of course. And…well, it’s all the parts. I wana re read ALL the parts. Lord help me.

BOOK REVIEW: You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle

January 27, 2022 / Chelsea / 4 Comments

You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
When your nemesis also happens to be your fiancé, happily ever after becomes a lot more complicated in this wickedly funny, lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers romantic comedy debut.

Naomi Westfield has the perfect fiancé: Nicholas Rose holds doors open for her, remembers her restaurant orders, and comes from the kind of upstanding society family any bride would love to be a part of. They never fight. They're preparing for their lavish wedding that's three months away. And she is miserably and utterly sick of him.

Naomi wants out, but there's a catch: whoever ends the engagement will have to foot the nonrefundable wedding bill. When Naomi discovers that Nicholas, too, has been feigning contentment, the two of them go head-to-head in a battle of pranks, sabotage, and all-out emotional warfare.

But with the countdown looming to the wedding that may or may not come to pass, Naomi finds her resolve slipping. Because now that they have nothing to lose, they're finally being themselves--and having fun with the last person they expect: each other.

Review:

“You’re a demon,” I tell him. “And you’ve been a ghost,” he breathes.

What a balm to my soul, truly. When I was recommended this by not one (though, one was VEHEMENTLY insistent I read it), but two of my best friends, I knew I would have to read this. Upon further inspection, though, I found out that the book is essentially a big fat trigger for me (what did I even think this was about when I read the blurb? I clearly have a sore skimmer-dar) and I knew I needed to wait until I was in the right headspace.

“You stopped seeing me, Naomi. You stopped wanting me. You’re going to figure out one of these days that I can tell when you’re starting to disassociate, and it’s the most heartbreaking experience I’ve ever had. It’s nonstop. It keeps on happening. I try to bring you back to me every time you go to leave, off into your own head where I’m not allowed.”

Was I in the right headspace for this? Not hardly. Especially after having just had a major holiday with my ~~favorite~~ nightmares come to life (in-laws. I mean my in-laws…was this not clear?). BUT. I persevered. I just had read The Spanish Love Deception (my heart. The feels.) and I needed something….different. And, frankly, I do this shit. I get so invested in a genre, which is ALWAYS fantasy, but then I hit a snag and I have to tuck tail and run to my safe place. My sometimes place. My ‘I keep this off to the side until I truly need it’ space, and it inevitably brings me back to life and I literally can’t stop devouring my cozy reads. Don’t worry-I will get my harsh fantasy head back screwed on tight-I can only do sweet and happy so long.

I like the Nicholas who drops everything and runs when I’m freaking out at the side of the road. The one who wraps his coat around my shoulders and eats a bowl of food poisoning with me. But I can’t wait for that Nicholas to pop up every now and then, leaving me a different version of him to deal with regularly: the man who abandons me in more ways than one to placate his demanding mother. That’s the Nicholas I need to be focusing my energy on. I can’t let myself forget.

And I never try to get stuck in my cozy corner, yet here we are. And, weirdly, I’m so happy to be here-at least for now. BUT I DIGRESS-I saved this beautiful, amazing, wondrous piece of absolute WIN for when I would need it most, but I had no idea how deeply it would speak to my chaotic soul.

The one time I need him to dote on his mother after work, and he comes straight home instead like a jackass.

How it would awaken such deep, dark thoughts, but spin them in a light that made it so fun-so ludicrous-that it inevitably made it bearable to bring them softly to the surface, letting them float into my consciousness and allow me to surf through my own torrid moments, even as we witness Naomi and Nicholas work on theirs with the subtlety of a battering ram.

I see that he didn’t wash the dishes like he promised, and I almost admire the evil touch. Neglecting to wash dishes is one thing. Voluntarily saying you’re going to do it and then not doing it is an act of hostility.

What an odd twist of fate that such an outrageous and-some might say-heinous display of issues would help me sort through mine.

My aesthetic is aggressively, unapologetically basic. Some of it stems from a lady at a MAC counter telling me I’m an autumn, because of my amber eyes and long, stick-straight hair the color of pecans, but I know in my leaf-ogling, beanie-loving, pumpkin-gorging soul that I’d be a basic bitch even if I had neutral undertones. It’s in my DNA.

This book, with zero flaws to be seen, was the most calming, beautiful, and aware book I’ve come across. I do NOT think it’s a good thing I relate to this, but, then again, what right is it for anyone to judge me for having a 16 year relationship that formed in High School, fought tooth and nail to keep alive, leading me to an insurmountable depth of happiness I thought I’d never reach (I see Arielle side-eyeing me, and that’s okay-LOOK-INLAWS DO NOT COUNT, OKAY? It’s FiNnNeEe), and I would hold onto it until the end of time. Love is like that sometimes, isn’t it? Messy? But what makes love worth it? What is the draw of fighting though the good AND bad times…especially when the bad is so. Damn. Bad. (Seriously, this book made my relationship seem like child’s play in comparison)

Foam gurgles from my blood-red Babadook mouth and giddiness overtakes me. It’s the closest to joy I’ve gotten in a long time. I’m going to follow this feeling straight down into hell.

I think this book is the perfect example for such a question. That being said…I do believe, if you have big issues in your relationship, it could be oddly triggering. I honestly thought I would be triggered and unable to enjoy it-not so. It was a complete opposite for me, and I think there was a lot of truth in Naomi’s words, no matter how petty they came across. This book is ‘unbelievable’, in a way. But, honestly, that’s what is so funny about it- I actually, truly, did not find it unbelievable, because I’ve been so far down in the dumps about my relationship before, almost all these feelings have come to the surface (yes I have measured my love in percentages, full stop-it happens). So who is to say if it would trigger you? It’s one of three outcomes (trigger, annoyance (rolling eyes because yeah right this could NEVER happen), or pure elation-which is me. I am elated).

Maybe so, but Nicholas has a dramatic streak as well. He got it watching daytime television in grade school, pretending to be sick so he could stay home and avoid bullies who called him Four-Eyes and made fun of the ascot his mother made him wear. Nicholas knows precisely what he would say to his childhood bullies if he ever came across one of them now. He’s perfected his speech in the shower, which he must think is soundproof. Too much One Life to Live in his formative years turned him into a vindictive diva. To be honest, I hope he gets the opportunity to deliver that speech someday. It’s incredible.

Nicholas and Naomi fell in love and found each other by chance, but they found each other when they needed one another most and it is just so…beautiful. I LOVED THIS. But then they began to do what many couples do, which is to say they misunderstood one another, let the other think things that weren’t true, decided to back off and let things go rather than talk about them when the puppy love phase wore off and actual issues arose while actually getting to know one another, and they, essentially, gave up on each other….which is so sad. Enter the Battle Royale of making one leave the relationship first so they don’t incur the costs of their spectacularly large wedding.

Nicholas absorbs my attention so fully that I know I’ll never forget how this feels. It’s a peace and a comfort I haven’t been able to find anywhere. It’s how my heart pounds so loud I’m certain he can hear it. It’s how his closeness makes my knees weak, and his skin brushing mine jolts me like a spray of hot sparks. It’s how he knows me better than anyone else, and I never meant for him to.

I just…who thought of this? I know the author did, I know, but the way this was written-I died. I literally laughed on every. Single. page. OUT LOUD. No joke. The way she would go on in a paragraph talking about things and going on about it nonstop and then just end the sentence with a jab at Nicholas, or a zing about someone-it spoke to my deranged heart, making me cackle into the dark like an evil little goblin incapable of being quiet or discreet about my obvious glee over her derision of all things Nicholas.

Nicholas doesn’t like bangs? Fantastic. I don’t like Nicholas.

The way they go for one another was nothing short of maniacal, hilarious…then, ultimately, sad. And the humor was done so well, because we really never had time to become morose, which is the beauty of this SPECTACULAR author I now love, yet you still felt for them as you saw them secretly pine for one another here or there, sometimes becoming lost in a lovely memory or seeing something that made them remember a warm feeling…only for the fleeting moment to dissipate into thin air when one of their hijinks exploded at the exact moment they were beginning to rekindle or actually see the other or speak to them deeper than on the surface or try to get to know the other again.

I tried to keep him at a safe distance where he could only see the decent parts of me and it made us both miserable. I inadvertently let him in to see the ugly parts but instead of running away like I’d counted on him to do, he wrapped his arms around all of that ugliness and didn’t let go.

I loved this book with my whole heart, and the tenderness with which these two handled one another as they fell in love again, the vulnerability seeping from every pore as they began to bare their soul in a last ditch effort to win their love back from the one person they swore to love the most in the world…it made my heart melt. It’s hard-relationships are hard, end of story. But a true relationship is not measured in years, or by a ring, or even by the standards set by society–its measured by what you do when the going gets tough, whether you are willing to stick by the one you love’s side, what you are willing to do to save them-and even you-from losing themselves, what you are willing to do to keep each other afloat, to stay sane, to stay present, and to ultimately keep each other happy, as a whole, expecting nothing in return-never giving up on one another. It’s a beautiful sentiment, and many relationships don’t have that power. That drive. I’m happy to say that mine does, and I’m so happy this book helped me see that (in a funny and different light, of course). What a beautiful dumpster fire of a book. I think you’re my favorite.

*****

whiny voice You guuuuuuuysssss. I am DYING from the inside out with these amazing contemporaries I saved for a rainy day, when I was at my absolute lowest, when I didn’t feel like reading even though I ALWAYS feel like reading, after 2 starring two books (what the actual fuck even).

I do this. I ALWAYS read fantasy (with that smidgen of romance, of course) and I hear of these amaaaaazing contemporaries that I just HAVE to read (I hear (thank you, friends)) and I pile them all up and wait…

Then, when I need it most….there they all are. A plethora of all things sweet, snarky, enemies to lovers, and well-written novels that I gobble up when I have nothing left to live for (the drama).

I’ll admit I started The Spanish Love Deception to get me out of my woes, but had to try this book that has been raved about to me for as long as its been out (side-eyeing you, Snake) and now I am a complete and utter mess, trash for all things contemporary with all these gems, the cream of the crop, that I horded like a greedy little Goblin.

Who even am I. I sure hope I can write a review on this one. I have to. It sang to my soul and appealed to the deepest, darkest, most sinister parts of me…and I couldn’t have laughed more.

MAKE TIME FOR THIS. I WILL.

BOOK REVIEW: All of Us Villains (All of Us Villains #1) by Amanda Foody

August 11, 2021 / Chelsea / 1 Comment

All of Us Villains (All of Us Villains)
by Amanda Foody
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
The blockbuster co-writing debut of Amanda Foody and Christine Lynn Herman, All of Us Villains begins a dark tale of ambition and magick...

You Fell In Love With The Victors of The Hunger Games.
Now Prepare To Meet The Villains of The Blood Veil.

After the publication of a salacious tell-all book, the remote city of Ilvernath is thrust into worldwide spotlight. Tourists, protesters, and reporters flock to its spellshops and ruins to witness an ancient curse unfold: every generation, seven families name a champion among them to compete in a tournament to the death. The winner awards their family exclusive control over the city’s high magick supply, the most powerful resource in the world.

In the past, the villainous Lowes have won nearly every tournament, and their champion is prepared to continue his family’s reign. But this year, thanks to the influence of their newfound notoriety, each of the champions has a means to win. Or better yet--a chance to rewrite their story.

But this is a story that must be penned in blood.

Review

**I’m being extremely honest here when I say that grammar took a SERIOUS hit in the name of purging my emotions- ALSO- ARC PROVIDED BY TORTEEN IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST REVIEW**

Grins like goblins.
Pale as plague and silent as spirits.
They’ll tear your throat and drink your soul.

That feeling of dread slowly inching up your spine is not the emotion nor the feeling I had imagined I’d experience when I started this novel. The vague sensation of helplessness that comes with the realization that you are not in control of this novel, this novel will not bend to your will, and you WILL be in pain as you see yourself slowly maddening at the fact that you WILL have to wait more than a year to see these characters through to their gory end. The utter calm [and a bit unhinged] madness that inhabits you when you realize- You don’t like that you have to wait for a very long time to see what happens…but you do love this brutal love song written just for you and all the evil things your now favorite character is doing to write said song. You don’t just like it-you love it.

“Do you hear that?” The older one, Hendry Lowe, stood up, brushed the forest floor off his gray T-shirt, cracked each of his knuckles, one by one. “That’s the sound of rules breaking.”
“Do you hear that?” Alistair echoed, smirking as he rose to his feet. “That’s the sound of bones breaking.”

This story wasn’t what I expected. And, that being said, I don’t know what I expected. Did I think it would be akin to my favorite series of all time, THG? No. I didn’t. Did I really think it would be about actual villains? No. And did I think it would hold up to any of my macabre fantasies when I imagined reading it? Heck no. But…It was BETTER. It was MORE. No matter what my mind could have dreamed up, it wasn’t this-never this. And that’s just…it’s a breath of fresh air. Look, I like predictability a lot–there are certain formulas you just cannot beat, no matter what you do, in my opinion. That’s me. But the fact remains that when I go into a book with no idea what to expect and it delivers with such ferocity-I hardly know how to contain myself. And that is this. I am in shock. I am in awe. I am so grateful for TorTeen for thinking of me, for sending me what is now a prized possession in my treasure trove of my absolute favorite stories. Even though I can’t even quite pinpoint what clicked for me-it just did.

Monsters couldn’t harm you if you were a monster, too.

I think it goes without saying that characters are key, especially in a book with such a dark theme-Yeah…villains. Okay. But why. WHY are they villains? The answer is simple-they really aren’t. And herein lies my largest conundrum: Why I am so defensive of my precious book? Because people are so judgmental. I thought each and every character had something dark about them (even if it wasn’t on the surface, but lurking far beneath)-but most of these klds-which they are just kids, in the end-were just pawns in their family’s lineage to grasp high magick for them to horde until the next tournament…And the family that possesses the high magick runs the town.

Like I said-I’m here for it. These characters-to me-were, in fact, villains. Maybe not the twirling your mustache kind, but they all had deeply disturbing ideologies and would do anything and everything to reach what they deemed necessary in their own mind’s eye: to either make a name for themselves, to gain glory, to earn a spot in the tournament (ie, beat out the other contenders in the family), to prove their worth, or to avenge-I won’t expand on that. Avenge is plenty good. My point remains valid-villains are what we make them, not always by what they actually do. And that is this tournament – seven families putting forth someone in their name, the town always viewing these families as evil, corrupt souls (well…maybe mostly just one family), or bottom-dwellers, attention seekers, or soul-suckers. Fact is, heavy is the head that wears the crown-and everyone wants a piece of it.

The Lowes did not tell their children monster stories so that they could slay them.
The Lowes told them so their children would become monsters themselves.

Of the four point of views, there are two that always always made me happy, sigh in relief, and really immerse: Isobel and Alistair. And then there was just ONE that made my heart beat faster, my mouth dry up, and my insides clench in dread, anticipation, and hope…and anyone that knows me at all knows that would be Alistair Lowe. Predictable, anyone? I. Don’t. Care.

Alistair’s fear wasn’t for his life, but for his mind. Even the most villainous Lowe victors left the tournament changed, broken. But Alistair refused to accept such a fate. No matter how brutal, how terrible he’d need to be, he couldn’t let himself care. Not about the other champions. Not about his soul.
He needed to become the most villainous of them all.

Look, Alistair is the clear favored champion-the one everyone knows has the best chance of winning and the favorite of the tournament…but really that makes him enemy number one and everyone also hates him ~~and wants to gang together and make him dead and cease to exist~~ and wants to steal his family’s smarmy glory. But the fact is, though he is among the wickedest of the contenders, he is also cool, calculated, and able to see reason-which many of the champions fail to do because they trust only what they know and what they’ve been taught, they can’t read between the lines and dig deeper within themselves to see a bigger picture, a deeper picture. And what does Alistair have to lose? NOTHING. Which makes him DANGEROUS. Makes it easy for him to lean back, relax, and fight the predictable and inevitable tide of people allying against him-except one.

“Hello, rival,” he whispered.

Isobel was not only my other favorite because she was closely connected with Alistair (And I will admit I was like the Pavlov dog becoming immediately butterfly-induced by simple association, shut up), but because her chapters fit. They just fit with my mindset like Alistair’s did. Was this intentional? Were we meant to favor them? I’m sure. I wouldn’t call Al the most relatable, but he was someone you rooted for simply because others didn’t like him and obviously he was the misunderstood bad boy-obviously. But Isobel didn’t care to be a champion, she only did it to keep others out of the fray and because she is the best at magick-her cool demeanor pre-tournament and haughty confidence was enough to snare me even without the help of a certain dark, brooding bad boy. I have a type, and these two were it. I’m predictable, but in this, I’m also sane.

“You want to know something funny?” he asked. “In a choice between staying here or going home, I’d still choose here. With you.”

The other contenders were easy to read about, as well-Briony being my likely third favorite due to her positive outlook and loyalty to her optimistic cause….then there was Gavin. I see him being a fan favorite (for those who are not like me and did not fall easily for the widow-peeked, pale, genius prodigy) but I couldn’t get on board with his motives or the way he processed things. I like an underdog, which also, coincidentally, likely makes him a bad boy or tortured hero as well, but deep down he had a bit more rot, perhaps more decay, and that was harder for me to accept. These characters are layered far more than I gave them credit for, so that makes this hard to say, but in the end I couldn’t root for him, no matter his life nor his choices. That being said, I didn’t hate his chapters nor did I skim them as I do in books where I don’t entirely cherish a character as I do my favorites-that has to be noted for these authors to understand how deeply they reached me. I am a flawed reader, but I can be won over.

Innes had called the tournament a pattern. Patterns could be disrupted.
Reid had called it a machine. Machines could be broken.
Briony had only ever thought of it as a fairy tale. But even the grandest stories eventually found their ending.

And now that I’ve rambled on for literal AGES I’ll get to the actual story-I just. For many moments in this book, I just couldn’t breathe. The heartache, the yearn, the fear, the not-knowing. And then there were so many moments, something I’m not accustomed to, where I frowned or furrowed my brow at the page, where I wondered just what I was reading and why it was assaulting my senses in such a manner. A certain blood bath, an inevitable, heinous act, the deaths, the…well…moment that may or may not have ripped my beating heart from my chest and incinerated it (and, for once, I wasn’t sure I liked it). Oh, who am I kidding-I LOVED IT, and the end, naturally. My smile-my smile couldn’t have been larger, my heart couldn’t have beat any faster, and my stomach couldn’t have been in more of a butterfly tornado. This story, it hurt me in all the best ways possible, which makes me wonder just what’s wrong with me that these are my favorite types of stories and I seek these horrendous plots out.

If he was truly a monster, then why was he so afraid?

I always say I want bad things to happen and my name even boasts peril-but I found that-when it comes down to it-I don’t actually like when terrible things happen to people. And I guess that’s not the same as ‘perilous situations’, because those rarely can always be so dire, but the actual gore of it…it gets to me. In fact, for the first time ever, my blood trigger appeared seemingly out of nowhere (this never happens when I read) and my hands went numb and I physically couldn’t hold my book and had to lay it down for a moment. I really and truly wish for the madness, then when the madness comes slowly crawling to me, I back away and cringe-I’d make a horrendous villain. Truly.

After they’d slain all the other champions-her ex-best friend among them-it would only be the two of them left. Maybe that would be months from now. Maybe it would be days. But that was what this alliance led up to. Not a kiss stolen in the dark, or a priceless gift given without being asked.
A duel.

I must say one last thing before I depart-if you’re even still here with me, reading my nonsensical rambling- I am so big on character driven books, which I think I’ve mentioned no less than five times in one way or another as I type out this review, and this is a perfect example- I don’t think this was the most action packed book, but I think where it lacked (and I say lacked for loss of a better word) in lots of action, it gained in connecting with the characters so when something happened or was mentioned, we felt instead of riding along beside it. I think this is the biggest execution flaw in some of these popular series that gain so much momentum-they win us in book one and two, then throw in so much action in book three that I personally lose interest and forget the whole series even existed when, before, my world centered around said series. So I think subtlety is key-every bad moment, every sacrifice, any betrayal, any shortcoming, they mean so much more when staring down the barrel of these characters’ wants, needs, plans, desires. We care so much MORE when the battle comes because we had time to immerse ourselves, and I think that is so important here, and perhaps why I am just so elated I had the opportunity to read this novel and go in blind before others start to talk about it (but also, what a curse).

I went on and on and on and for that I’m sorry, but these emotions have been brewing inside of me for over 24 hours and I needed to purge everything epic that is this book. These authors ensnared me with simple words and a brooding, tortured boy, but they kept me because of the choices they made, the way they shocked and surprised me at each and every turn, if only because they didn’t do the typical (and sometimes they did, further confusing me more), and the way they captured my heart and soul. That’s truly not an easy thing to do-I may bluster and boast that I love giving out 5 stars to books that make me happy, but a true five star is one that can capture my heart and wind it’s way into my daily routine, invading my thoughts even when I don’t want them to-that’s this book, and I’m so happy to be ordering a copy to support these authors as soon as I’m able-with a certain special personalization, of course ;).

*This is an uncorrected proof, so quotes are subject to change*

BOOK REVIEW: OUR VIOLENT ENDS (These Violent Delights #2) by Chloe Gong

August 5, 2021 / Chelsea / 2 Comments

Our Violent Ends (These Violent Delights #2)
by Chloe Gong
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Shanghai is under siege in this captivating and searingly romantic sequel to These Violent Delights, which New York Times bestselling author Natasha Ngan calls “deliciously dark.”

The year is 1927, and Shanghai teeters on the edge of revolution.

After sacrificing her relationship with Roma to protect him from the blood feud, Juliette has been a girl on the warpath. One wrong move, and her cousin will step in to usurp her place as the Scarlet Gang’s heir. The only way to save the boy she loves from the wrath of the Scarlets is to have him want her dead for murdering his best friend in cold blood. If Juliette were actually guilty of the crime Roma believes she committed, his rejection might sting less.

Roma is still reeling from Marshall’s death, and his cousin Benedikt will barely speak to him. Roma knows it’s his fault for letting the ruthless Juliette back into his life, and he’s determined to set things right—even if that means killing the girl he hates and loves with equal measure.

Then a new monstrous danger emerges in the city, and though secrets keep them apart, Juliette must secure Roma’s cooperation if they are to end this threat once and for all. Shanghai is already at a boiling point: The Nationalists are marching in, whispers of civil war brew louder every day, and gangster rule faces complete annihilation. Roma and Juliette must put aside their differences to combat monsters and politics, but they aren’t prepared for the biggest threat of all: protecting their hearts from each other.

Review

*Arc provided by SimonTeen in exchange for an honest review-And I literally cannot thank them enough as they have made my whole year*

“You destroy me and then you kiss me. You give me a reason to hate you and then you give me a reason to love you. Is this a lie or the truth? Is this a ploy or your heart reaching for me?”

I am going to be frank right up front: A book hasn’t caused such a deep, emotional, and visceral reaction out of me in a very long time. I eagerly awaited the moment I could dive back inside myself, immerse myself into this lush, enriched world of enemies to lovers. I lost sleep waiting and pining and anticipating what fate my beloveds were dealt…and I only had to wait a few weeks. So I can’t even imagine what my frowny French friend feels, how she deals with the wait on a daily basis. Because I have to say it-My heart couldn’t possibly have waited any longer, it had too many questions and needed far too many answers. And this author? She delivers.

Juliette was not frightened. If anything, she was only resentful-not at Roma, but at herself. At wanting to lean in even while Roma was actively trying to kill her. At this distance between them that she had willingly manufactured, because they had been born into two families at war, and she would rather die at Roma’s hand than be the cause of his death.

I am SUCH a final book snob. One minute duologies are my favorite, the next, trilogies. Then sometimes standalones. And, I have to say, standalones sometimes keep my heart the longest-though they are far and few between-because there is little margin for overthinking/overwriting/underwhelming endings. It’s all wrapped up in a neat little package all at once. But here, now, Gong has showed just how amazing and well-done a duology can be. How, if done correctly, it delivers great impact in smaller quantity. How, if she CHOSE to expand the universe, to connect with MORE people without dragging it on too long, she could easily pick a less explored side character and create a whole new spin-off without everyone already being exhausted with it (Can anyone rejoice this is, in fact, happening?). Gong restored my faith in books. She restored my faith in how I can be addicted and pine and hope for a certain path to be taken and for the author to write certain things, it not go my way (I am veryyyy picky with my romance and enemies to lovers and peril), and STILL love how it goes. Not one thing felt forced. Not one moment blemished by rushing and trying to fit everything in. It all felt real, it felt natural. That is the mark of a true author. THAT is how you create forever fans. THAT is how you CRUSH the YA world.

And with that realization, it should be no secret that Roma and Juliette own my soul. Not a week goes by that I don’t reminisce over my favorite moments between them-the what-ifs, the pain and longing and anger, the imminent danger that continually brings them together. Not a moment passes without the crescendo of chaos crashing in around them, melding into the most perfect storm raging inside my heart. These two are a couple that are so deeply rooted into one another, into me, that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget them, even for a second.

Gone are the games of book one. Blood has been shed, lines have been drawn, sides have been chosen. The masks are back in place and their hearts are no longer on their sleeves-betrayal has cut deep and Roma can’t see past the pain and heartache that Juliette has caused…he also still can’t fully believe it. Thus begins the tragic circling of one another as they have to work together-again-against a common enemy for the greater good.

He thought her a monster. He thought she had hated him the whole time, so viciously that she would destroy everything he loved, and he had to think that if he was to keep his life. Juliette refused to drag him down just because she was weak-willed.

I truly loved these two for more than their romance, though-Juliette became this girl that I loved so deeply in my heart, because even though it hurt to not see eye to eye with everyone, with her own family, she followed her heart to do what was just and right. She cared more for her people, for her city, than she did for an ancient blood feud that had no end in sight. That didn’t allow her to be with the love of her life. She cared more for Roma, his sister, the friends she made, and even her cousins, more than something as petty as being a gang leader-in the end, love and hope and the unknown were more important than upholding a reign of terror that was shredding the city apart, piece by piece, no side truly safe.

“This is Scarlet territory.” Her words were even, but it took everything in her to keep them that way. “You forget yourself.”
Roma grew still. He stared at her, utterly unreadable as the moment drew long-long enough that Juliette almost thought he would surrender.
Only then Roma leaned into the blade instead, leaned until the metal was pressed right into his neck, one hairsbreadth away from breaking skin and drawing blood.
“Then do it,” Roma hissed. He sounded angry….He sounded pained. “Kill me.”

And Roma-He was far darker in this story and, clearly, that only made me love him more. Is this a flaw in me? No. It is the BEST part of me…I LOVE a good moral dilemma within a character, and when Juliette broke his heart, it opened a dark chasm inside of him that made him question everything he knew about the girl he had always fought side by side with. But that’s just it- he knows her inside and out-at least he thought he did, and nothing adds up. From her actions in book one to her complete lack of doing what he’d expect time and time again, she remains someone he can’t figure out. But they are enemies once again, regardless, and he needs to eliminate her. End of story. But that’s easier said than done as he misses opportunities time and again, never fully able to do what needs to be done to rest his broken soul. But once it’s done it cannot be undone, and that is what truly haunts him.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if someone loved book one, they are going to devour book two. The pain, the heartache, the lead up to an inevitable end…it’s so deliberately and deliciously evil that I couldn’t help but fall head over heels for each stolen moment they shared, every future within grasp but hate nipping at their heels, no one content to let them be free, and each stolen moment that slipped from my greedy claws, keeping me on my toes and pining for more-always more-in their battle to do what’s right for their city…while also selfishly trying to escape to a world where they can be free to love one another openly for the rest of their lives. I don’t know about you, but I see myself reading these books over and over until the end of time, and I don’t think I could ever find a flaw. Period.