Tag: Fantasy (Page 15 of 118)

BOOK REVIEW: The Mask Falling (The Bone Season #4) by Samantha Shannon

June 1, 2022 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

The Mask Falling (The Bone Season #4)
by Samantha Shannon
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Dreamwalker Paige Mahoney has eluded death again. Snatched from the jaws of captivity and consigned to a safe house in the Scion Citadel of Paris, she finds herself caught between those factions that seek Scion's downfall and those who would kill to protect the Rephaim's puppet empire.

The mysterious Domino Program has plans for Paige, but she has ambitions of her own in this new citadel. With Arcturus Mesarthim-her former enemy-at her side, she embarks on an adventure that will lead her from the catacombs of Paris to the glittering hallways of Versailles. Her risks promise high reward: the Parisian underworld could yield the means to escalate her rebellion to outright war.

As Scion widens its bounds and the free world trembles in its shadow, Paige must fight her own memories after her ordeal at the hands of Scion. Meanwhile, she strives to understand her bond with Arcturus, which grows stronger by the day. But there are those who know the revolution began with them-and could end with them...

I had no idea what would befall me in this new theatre of war. What names and faces I would wear. Who I might become.
If I had, I might have turned back.

All. The. Feels. Exhilaration is in high demand with short supply, as of late, and I felt every excruciating moment in the marrow of my bones. And man…Man this woman can hold out on us fans when it comes to romance. Never have I been so desperate for a fucking kiss in my whole life (I mean…yes…okay…I am who I am but still she tortured us).

“Clearly yours is the superior intellect, Paige—”
“Well, I didn’t want to say—”
“—but you still cannot best me at chess.” He set down his white bishop. “Checkmate.”
I stared at the board. “You . . . infuriating bastard.”

And that’s just what sets this apart, isn’t it? Not a moment is rushed, not a situation forced. She literally will play out every. Single. Plot Point. Until she has written the best possible scenario in the most thought provoking way. I admit it is tedious at times and not without its flaws, but these books were built up in such a manner that I can’t call them anything less than a masterpiece. This woman, who apparently takes forever and a day to write her novels (please Jesus be with me), has covered everything down to the finest details.

“I am of the considered opinion that for every person, there exists a book that will sing to them. I trust that you will find yours.”

I kid you not when I say that I get just plain ANGRY when an author teases something we all desperately want to know…then it is NEVER mentioned again. What the actual cinnamon toast f*** is that? So, naturally, something was said in, I believe, book three that held all the eternal answers to my deepest rooted heart song and then…nothing. And, since she takes so long to write, I was terrified it was gone forever because how could she remember to add that when she has SO MUCH INFO SHE ADDS TO EACH NOVEL. Not. SO. She came in like a freaking WRECKING BALL and flat out SLAYED my emotional libido and crushed the last of my fangirl resolve (I was hanging on by a thread, truly) and I. Freaked. The FUCK. Out.

So…yes. We do, in fact, get to find out what we so desperately want to hear…or at least I did…but not without destructing my soul and leaving it laying in pieces all over the dagnab floor.

I just simply cannot convey how deeply this last book engrained itself in my soul. I am nothing if not consistent, and a thought-provoking, mind-blowing, and well-paced and played out story is simply my kryptonite. I literally had so much I wanted to say, and, as it always seems to go, my mind emptied into stuttering sentences with no direction the minute I started this review. It’s such a travesty, really. This book deserves so much more than rabid fangirling.

“And you believe your fatigue no longer presents an issue.”
“I’m fine.”
“The darkness under your eyes serves as compelling evidence of that. As does the full bowl of coffee.”
I cocked my head. “Did you just master sarcasm?”
“Paige.”

Warden and Paige have literally been through Hell and back-both of them. And it seems that book after book we are left in tatters as they fight against villains and allies alike. The twists and turns that are crafted into these novels are just…my god it’s mind-boggling. I don’t know how the author keeps it straight. Though, that being said, I worry for the future books. How many times can they be captured, etc, to meet the needs of those who they are working with/for. My bloodthirsty self is all in because, truly, there is no amount of both physical and mental torture I cannot withstand and absorb like a sponge.

“Exquisite,” he said, soft as velvet. “But no. The blood-sovereign would be very angry if I damaged your aura.”
Tenderly, like a lover, he peeled the brace off my left hand.
“This happened in the first colony.” He curled his own hand around my wrist. “Can it truly still pain you?”
“Not as much as your fucking voice,” I bit out.

It’s my favorite thing, the hero or heroine getting his or herself captured, and the other trying to save them…peril…whatever. If the h/h are getting pummeled or captured or what-have-you, I am right there lapping it up.

I realize, though, that many are not built like me. I NEED these moments for emotional engagement, for something to root for-because yes, I love a good book with people/friends around and building up to something great, but more often than not that all falls flat and we are left with a build up that lead us nowhere and a wait for the next book that feels insurmountable. So. Yeah. I enjoy the capturing and the torture and the pained forbidden romance that

has been decaying me slowly from the inside out because we get bang for our buck-if this bitch (me) is waiting two-three years between books, best believe I expect pain. Madness. And quite a bit of desperation,

To end this…I have to say it. I was almost done. I mean…I guess it’s my fault reading them back to back… but how can you STOP when you are so desperate for answers and for things to happen? But yes, with so many characters fading in and out, you tend to get a bit bogged down. When you are begging for something to happen and it just…won’t…and you keep having these people being introduced and new revolutions YES that shit gets bogged down and YES I was not getting what I wanted but ALSO I WAS just not…how I wanted.

Strange how a feeling could blossom where once there had been nothing. Then again, I had never felt nothing for Arcturus Mesarthim. Never been indifferent to him. From the instant our eyes had met, we had reacted, like fire and kindling. First with fear and hatred, then a quiet respect, and then something else. Something that had never stopped burning.

I know. I’m a basket case. I was getting slow burn but dayum that flame almost went out. When we so desperately need something (ie more), it can tend to shade your viewpoint, and it doesn’t help I was so busy last week for my daughter’s birthday. So, I was close to done, as I was getting detached even though I love it so so much. Don’t worry…that last half??? IT IS WORTH EVERY. SINGLE. AGONIZING. MOMENT.

I had precious little knowledge of desire, but I knew it now. I knew its name.

Unless you’re not a real one…which I cannot help you with that.

I had to see the depths before I jumped. I only seemed to want someone—to truly want them—when I cared for them too much to run. I wanted in ways that would always have consequences.

All that being said, this series has such a beautiful balance. We need the softness. The tenderness. Paige goes through a LOT in books 1-4…I can’t imagine if this author just gave her nothing. No rest. No moments. And even with all that…she still gets minimum recovery. Always. And, even though she KILLS me with her steadfastness to being the leader she needs to be, that is why I love Paige. She’s just an awesome heroine chock-full of heart and unable to be the bastard she really needs to become to truly succeed. We need that softness…but we also need those hard moments, too. And Paige has all that in spades. I sure hope that my random reviews do something for you-because without a little nudging, this book I’ve been circling for YEARS would have never been read. I hope you can find enjoyment in it as I have, because it’s nothing short of mind-blowing.

Morals, O my lovely, are for the lucky ones.

*****

Only one gif comes to mind when I picture my reading experience as this crazy crescendo of an end unfolded:

To say that it was impossible for me to function whilst reading this is an understatement. And for the first time in I-don’t-know-how-long…I whipped out the white knuckle cliffy tag.

RTC

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BOOK REVIEW: Crave (Crave #1) by Tracy Wolff

May 30, 2022 / Chelsea / 2 Comments

Crave (Crave #1)
by Tracy Wolff
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
My whole world changed when I stepped inside the academy. Nothing is right about this place or the other students in it. Here I am, a mere mortal among gods…or monsters. I still can’t decide which of these warring factions I belong to, if I belong at all. I only know the one thing that unites them is their hatred of me.

Then there’s Jaxon Vega. A vampire with deadly secrets who hasn’t felt anything for a hundred years. But there’s something about him that calls to me, something broken in him that somehow fits with what’s broken in me.

Which could spell death for us all.

Because Jaxon walled himself off for a reason. And now someone wants to wake a sleeping monster, and I’m wondering if I was brought here intentionally—as the bait.

Ugh. I did it. I did it again where I fell for something that was too good to be true and left me in shattered pieces. Look. This was not meant to be anything other than a blood-sucking good time. I wanted trash. I wanted fun. I wanted ‘slightly better than Twilight’ vibes. And while Twilight will always hold a special place in my heart and will be held in a higher regard always (but my GOD her writing sucks (literally)), this book did have better writing, in my opinion, if not a bit more on the nose and very ‘I’m going to lay every scenario out sentence by sentence’ esque.

When exactly did I become the heroine in some YA romance? The new girl swooning over the hottest, most unattainable boy in school?
Gross. And so not happening.

She, more than once, used very modern terms and had a very modern ‘speaking in text’ manner but, in the end, I enjoyed it for that. It was quick. It was easy. And I didn’t take it too seriously.

“Have you ever wanted something so much that you were afraid to take it?”
“Yes.” He nods.
“Like it’s right there, waiting for you to just reach out and grab it, but you’re so terrified of what will happen when you lose it that you never make the reach?”
“Yes,” he says again, his voice low and deep and comforting in a way that burrows inside me.
I tilt my head up until our eyes meet, and then I whisper, “What did you do?”
For long seconds, he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t do anything. He just stares back at me with a look in his eyes as scarred and broken as the rest of him. And says, “I decided to take it anyway.”

And then I did. Stupid. Stupid. STUPID. Me. It was still ‘all in fun’, then when I checked book two to see if I wanted to continue right away or wait a moment and finish other things I wanted to read, I saw the ultimate author betrayal. For those wondering, I’ll make it real simple and real clear:

THE AUTHOR PULLS A MIX OF SARAH J. MAAS AND TAREHEH MAFI

If that’s not clear…I cannot help you. Either way, I was bamboozled and I can’t say I feel like doing a singular review because what’s the point?

I don’t recommend.

I won’t be able to read on because I just…can’t….after I fall for something.

It’s pretty obvious Jaxon is the villain of his own story. I just wish I knew why.

It stopped being fun and looked fondly upon when I found out my guy will go through heartbreak-a fun trash read to read on the side or no, my heart still gets invested with love interests, period. Some things never change, and I’m nothing if not transparent.

The fun peril was there, the longing of young love was there, and-a completely added bonus I literally NEVER get and wanted to savor-the blood sucking was there. Sorry not sorry, I’m a trashy bitch (ie Cody Rigsby)-I like that, alright?? Why else would I like vampires, puh-lease.

Jaxon, on the other hand… If he lies to me, you’d better believe I’m going to stake him through his fangy black heart. And yes, I know that makes no sense. I just don’t happen to care at this exact moment.

So, yes, I rated it fairly and used what I think I was going to rate it before my heart was broken in reviews for the next books, because I really had a very fun time and this kept me from going into a slump [even though I want to throw it into a dumpster of fire, dumpster fire book as it is].

Jaxon is awesome, typical, broody, protective, sweet, fierce, and vulnerable-your average YA paranormal hero, but he’s perfect and exactly what you crave (har) when you knowingly pick up a novel such as this. You get what you come for, Twilight rip off or not. Shame-I’d have loved to see what overly dramatic scenes come my way in its predecessors.

Cheesy. Predictable. Delectable.

End of story. For me, anyway.

FRIEND SCALE:

Arielle-Since you’re a simp for SJM I assume you’d be fine *eyeroll*
Cassie– Nah.
Jen– I think you damn well know the answer to this lol
Anna– Nope haha, but you knew that already

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The Atlas Six (The Atlas #1) by Olivie Blake

May 26, 2022 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

The Atlas Six (The Atlas #1) by Olivie Blake The Atlas Six (The Atlas #1)
by Olivie Blake
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

The much-acclaimed BookTok sensation, Olivie Blake's The Atlas Six--now newly revised and edited with additional content.

• The tag #theatlassix has millions of views on TikTok

• A dark academic debut fantasy with an established cult following that reads like THE SECRET HISTORY meets THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

• The first in an explosive trilogy

The Alexandrian Society, caretakers of lost knowledge from the greatest civilizations of antiquity, are the foremost secret society of magical academicians in the world. Those who earn a place among the Alexandrians will secure a life of wealth, power, and prestige beyond their wildest dreams, and each decade, only the six most uniquely talented magicians are selected to be considered for initiation.

Enter the latest round of six: Libby Rhodes and Nico de Varona, unwilling halves of an unfathomable whole, who exert uncanny control over every element of physicality. Reina Mori, a naturalist, who can intuit the language of life itself. Parisa Kamali, a telepath who can traverse the depths of the subconscious, navigating worlds inside the human mind. Callum Nova, an empath easily mistaken for a manipulative illusionist, who can influence the intimate workings of a person’s inner self. Finally, there is Tristan Caine, who can see through illusions to a new structure of reality—an ability so rare that neither he nor his peers can fully grasp its implications.

When the candidates are recruited by the mysterious Atlas Blakely, they are told they will have one year to qualify for initiation, during which time they will be permitted preliminary access to the Society’s archives and judged based on their contributions to various subjects of impossibility: time and space, luck and thought, life and death. Five, they are told, will be initiated. One will be eliminated. The six potential initiates will fight to survive the next year of their lives, and if they can prove themselves to be the best among their rivals, most of them will.

Most of them.

People were such delicate little playthings.

This is the most difficult book to talk about. On the one hand, I literally don’t understand a thing that happened. On the other hand….it was a masterpiece but I still don’t understand a lot that happened.

Look, I want to wax poetic about how much I loved this-but I just didn’t. Did I immensely enjoy it? Yeah, absolutely. Was it epic in some parts? Yup. But did it blow my skirt up? Not hardly. That is to say, there was no real ship. I don’t know if anyone I like will live. No real action happened, but the end was freaking amazing and I was right in my feels. You tell me.

Every now and then, Libby achieved a look that successfully withered his balls, and this was one of those instances. It was the kind of look that reminded him she’d set him on fire the first time she’d met him without even batting an eye.
He’d like her more if she did it more often.

And the beginning-I’ll admit I was HYPE at the beginning, which is generally the opposite of what I say, but I think that this author is either a true master in mind-fuckery which, fine, okay, cool, but fuck with someone else because I like my ships pure and if you did that just to bait me, no- I won’t ever truly like you as an author. It’s fair to say-that upon finishing-I did not care if my ship did not sail, though, because the author did at least achieve enough of a bond to satisfy me in a deep friendship that I can get behind AND some strong treachery that leads to supreme moral grayness. (not the same people and not in that order, even-just facts).

“….You think you’ve met me before, other versions of women like me, but you have no idea what I am. You think my looks are what make me? My ambitions? You can’t begin to know the sum of my parts, and you can stare all you like, but you won’t see a damn thing until I show you.”

And, also, I’ve seen this compared a LOT to Deadly Education (okay, fair), but wrong. The beginning was so on the nose I thought I may combust, but one of these is not like the other and I must say, as far as comparisons go, for those who love DE and LG on the level that I do, this is a gross injustice to Atlas Six because there is literally no competition. To be fair, though, on the other side of the realm, A6 stans would say this far surpasses the latter. Again, I am, of course, correct like always, but you can lean to whatever side you like. They aren’t the same…but if they were, in theory, in competition-Atlas Six would be the sad Augustus Gloop that floated down the chocolate river for trying to achieve the impossible. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

“Don’t envy me, Reina,” Parisa advised softly, turning to say it in Reina’s ear. “Fear me.”

Now that that nasty business is put aside, I will end with the derision of people labeling this pretentious. I guess I see that perspective… but in that vain, what is pretentious when writing a book, anyway? Like what is pique pretentiousness? I’d say (again with this fucking comparison), if we’re going down the what-if road, Novik always writes with an unparalleled pretentiousness. But no. I don’t see it that way. There’s an innocence in her heroine (and same with Uprooted, if memory serves) that, while she’s an asshole (just back to El here lol), she wants, ultimately, to be liked. Compare that to Libby and you have a match. I know it’s deeper than that, but I think there was enough levity of characterization among the 6 that I never felt like I was being made to feel beneath the writing or belittled.   Again, just my opinion (and seriously, I understand what pretentious means and I literally see everyone’s point, and I don’t even think Novik writes with any loftiness, just a beautiful-if not wordy-flow, thus making my point about wordiness somewhat akin to pretentiousness, if you liked that take), but I really thought that, yes the writing wasn’t always the easiest to connect to, but there was heart behind it if you wanted to feel or see it–

He had such a talent for finding women who put themselves first. It was like he was some sort of sniffer dog for emotional fatality, always able to dig it up from the one person in the room who would have no trouble making him feel small.

Regardless, what Tristan needed most emergently was to believe in something; to stop staring at the pieces and finally grasp the whole. He wanted to revel in his magic, not wrestle with it. He wanted something, somewhere, that he could understand.

-and anyone who can enrich their story with heart is okay in my book. I’m one to reach out and grab any opportunity to find relatability, and maybe that’s just something within me-a defensive mechanism-that helps me to relate and enjoy 90% of the books I read. I didn’t spend 1-20 dollars on a book to sit and judge it the whole time (well lol), I just wana immerse and enjoy. And if there is a pretentiousness to every book read (I do truly think there is, in some form, for most every author) then so be it. No, not every book is equal, not every book is pretentious. But I see it a lot more than what is called out, and I found this book to be on par with what I read and, honestly, if I hadn’t seen it in reviews (yes, further implicating I’m of a romantic notion of naivety here) that word wouldn’t have even popped in my head.

CHARACTERS AND MY SCALE OF MADNESS

Nico-If harm befalls him I would rage honestly
Libby– Again, the rage is strong-bonus points if my children end up together with that ace banter
Parisa– I wouldn’t be happy if something happened to her-I grew to care for her
Tristan– I don’t see…a happy future…but I hope for it. He’s very sweet. I see great power but not sure what his path is. Perhaps to save them all, in the end (if needed) somehow
Callum– I mean, be gone. I did not care for him one bit, but he did add some flavor that’s for sure.
Reina– Who?

(Sorry, only the real ones will get that joke lol *Arielle, back me up here…*)

So, all in all I did enjoy this book on a level I’m unaccustomed to. It was a challenge for myself in that I like my neat little formulas and I, as a rule, tend to need to know certain things (ARGH) or have hope they will turn out as I like…but we can’t always get what we want, now can we, and I am okay with that (though it took me a while to reach that point). And if my little non-rant pertaining to pretentiousness caused you to raise your eyebrows to your hairline, I only said it in defense of the book because I’d hate for someone to skip over their next favorite read because of one review that may have scared them. Call me soft-hearted, but I’m always going to defend a book to its bitter end…and I guess that’ll never change. This was a good book-it didn’t become an instant favorite like many do (yes, I have a plethora of all time favorites-I’m cool like that), but I will be waiting eagerly for the end alongside many rabid fans.

“Isn’t it? The day you are not a fire,” he said, “is the day the earth will fall still for me.”

FRAN SCALE:

Cassie-Honestly, I think you’ll be disappointed. But you’ll wana like it so you probably will lol. Though, this holds zero candles to El and Orion-Just sayin’.
Arielle-I mean, sure. Probably. You’re weird. I’m weird. This book is weird AF. Fuck knows.
Jen-LMFAO no.
Anna-You read it already so. lol

********

Altogether not at all what I would have expected…but also completely what I expected based on the mercurial reviews littering the booksphere.

All in all a delightful and different read.

RTC!

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BOOK REVIEW: Daughter of the Pirate King (Daughter of the Pirate King #1) by Tricia Levenseller

May 6, 2022 / Chelsea / 4 Comments

Daughter of the Pirate King (Daughter of the Pirate King #1)
by Tricia Levenseller
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I’ve gotten what I came for.

Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her the perfect opportunity to search their ship.

More than a match for the ruthless pirate crew, Alosa has only one thing standing between her and the map: her captor, the unexpectedly clever and unfairly attractive first mate, Riden. But not to worry, for Alosa has a few tricks up her sleeve, and no lone pirate can stop the Daughter of the Pirate King.

“This would be the key I so carelessly dropped,” he says.
“Strange, that.”
He sighs. “Alosa, what are you even doing out here?”
“You’ve kidnapped me. What do you think I’m doing out here?”
“The rowboats are over there.” He points to the opposite side of the ship. “So why would you be lollygagging around my door?”
“I wanted to kill my captors before I left.”
“How’d that work out for you?”
“Still working on it.”

Here’s the thing: Not every book has to be transcendent to be addictive to you, to make you love it and think about it tirelessly. This book was just that. I have been wanting to read DOTPK for years and just never could commit. Turns out, I just love a good ‘pirate’ romance. They are legit (the good ones) so far and few between. I have yet to find the level of obsession I found with Fable and To Kill a Kingdom, but I’d like to think that’s simply because those books are virtually impossible to copy or do better. I know one friend (the best, actually) didn’t care for TKAK as I did, but such is life and she can

*her*

The more you know, eh? Well, either way, these books are hard to mimic and I found this to be a lighter (until it’s not (book two ew, wtf)) version with variations of those favorites. I’m picky and I like what I like.

“I am me because I choose to be me. I am what I want. Some people say you have to find yourself. Not I. I believe we create ourselves to be what we want. Any aspect of ourselves that we do not like can be altered if we make an effort.”

I’ll admit I feel clinical, atm, about reviewing. I want to do it-I want justice for these books I’m reading, but I am having a very rough time and I find it hard to produce anything other than what is required, and for that I’m sorry. But here are some of the things I loved about this one:

-The Male Lead (obviously)
-The Banter
-The way our heroine was just a little shit but I loved it
-The scene at the end involving the bad guys and our two mains (okay, probably the main reason this got a five-I am nothing if not consistent with loving terrible things happening)
-The Slow-Burn with little payoffs
-The day to day feel. I just love that. I always have. Not overly rushed.

And really, honestly, that is the sum of its parts, for me. And-my GOD-the way my two year old is CLANKING AROUND in the background with my already tired eyes is too much so I will end it here. This book was very good without taking itself too seriously. We got the funny, the dialogue, the more serious moments, and the author didn’t shy away from somewhat intense situations (I love that and I really need this attention to detail to like a lighter story). So, if you are looking for a fun read, this is it.

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BOOK REVIEW: Ninth House (Alex Stern #1) by Leigh Bardugo

April 14, 2022 / Chelsea / 2 Comments

Ninth House (Alex Stern #1)
by Leigh Bardugo
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much, much worse. By age twenty, in fact, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most elite universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her?

Still searching for answers to this herself, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. These eight windowless “tombs” are well-known to be haunts of the future rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street and Hollywood’s biggest players. But their occult activities are revealed to be more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive.

What do you want? Belbalm had asked her. Safety, comfort, to feel unafraid. I want to live to grow old, Alex thought as she pulled the curtains closed. I want to sit on my porch and drink foul-smelling tea and yell at passersby. I want to survive this world that keeps trying to destroy me.

The way that I want to scream from the mountains and make this a total fangirl review…the urge is strong. Logic is flawed. And-I have to admit it-it’s all because I chose to believe a bunch of reviews from people I don’t even know instead of trusting in the author I’ve loved since the beginning of the Grishaverse. Shame on me.

Darlington liked to say that dealing with ghosts was like riding the subway: Do not make eye contact. Do not smile. Do not engage. Otherwise, you never know what might follow you home.

I’ll admit that it’s daunting when an author you know and love changes their genre completely-and in such a macabre fashion. Bardugo didn’t just go from YA Fantasy to Adult Fantasy…she went full on YA Fantasy to Adult Dark Academia. Quite a jump, and a jump I wasn’t quite ready to make when it was first released.

The resemblance was superficial, at least on the outside. But underneath? In the cut-open places, they were all the same. Girls like Hellie, girls like Alex, girls like this one, had to keep running or eventually trouble caught up. This girl just hadn’t run fast enough.

I can also admit there are key words when reading reviews that ignite that trigger response and I latched onto those with my whole being. What I failed to realize though, was I needed to read between the lines/investigate a little further to see whether those triggers would effect me. Everyone’s threshold of tolerance differs and what we can endure is in the eyes and heart of the reader. One similar scene may bother me more in another book simply because of what surrounds it or what the parameters are of the story, where another book may have an even worse similar scene, but everything surrounding it supports it, enhances it, creates a tension that just works and makes it bearable whereas the other just simply didn’t. It’s the smallest things that may set someone off (me), when before the same exact thing didn’t bother me. I can’t explain it other than I’m an emotional reader: I’m pure. I don’t have set stereotypes of triggers and how they are used other than two key triggers that are NEVER okay and I cannot tolerate: Babies (and young children) and animals. Those are it-the rest, things may bother me on a visceral level, but I couldn’t tell you from one book the next how it will effect me. That’s just how I am, I suppose.

“Thank you.” Alex winked. “Now we can be friends again.”
“Psycho.”
“So I hear,” said Alex.

All that being said-What I mean is that while this book triggered many people, it did not trigger myself. There were key things that at some time may have at some point in my life…but I guess I pictured this book to be so grotesque before reading that nothing I read was really going to phase me. Ah the power of trusting reviews. Either way, it seems that there was a certain line drawn in the sand that divided people between loving and not loving the book, and I’ll mention it here: ***I cannot get this spoiler in so will add later when I know how***. I believe this scene-paired with the fact that some people do not like change by their favorite authors (or mistakenly believing this to be YA when it’s, in fact, Adult)-is the main divider of derision/enjoyment. I personally just found one other scene to be far more disturbing-but that’s taste (omfg, taste. GAG. You’ll see. Unfortunately). OR, ya know, someone just may not enjoy it. There’s always that-which, okay, fair.

We are the shepherds.

I don’t know what I expected when I pictured this book, but I suppose I just never cared enough to realize it’s a form of dark academia, one of my favorite genres to read when done correctly. I think I always pictured some adult woman doing PI work and hanging out around a campus…fuck if I know why I thought that but…wow. The reality was so much better than that. And I guess this is a good instance of seeing why it’s nice to go in blind sometimes. I was blown away and that does not happen often to me when I am going into a darker book. Though, to me, this really wasn’t as dark as many of the books I’ve read in the last few years.

“Not at all. Demons are ambidextrous.”
“Do we ever have to fight demons?”
“Absolutely not. Demons are confined to some kind of hellscape behind the Veil, and the ones that do manage to push through are far above our pay grade.”
“What pay grade?”
“Precisely.”

And, okay, let’s cut to the damn chase: Darlington. Daniel Arlington. My newest love. How delightful. I just…I am trash for him. I love his haughtiness. I love his gentle snark. I love the way his derision never gets in the way [of always, always doing the right thing] of how he trains and guides Alex (well…mostly). I love that, above all, he lives up to his name as the Gentleman of Lethe and would never-under ANY circumstance-let any harm befall Alex (or anyone in danger in his radius, really) no matter his qualms or mistrust. He just…is the epitome of a ‘good guy’ without the bore or mundaneness. In fact, his scenes are anything but mundane, and I found myself speeding up when I knew he was going to be in the next scene. My most helpful piece of advice? Savor him. Savor his moments. Lock them up and read them slowly, stash them in the deepest crevices of your mind and throw away the key. You’ll thank you me later, if you’re a fan of him at all.

That was what magic did. It revealed the heart of who you’d been before life took away your belief in the possible. It gave back the world all lonely children longed for. That was what Lethe had done for him. Maybe it could do that for Alex as well.

What got me most, though, was the way they were together, the way they worked together. It just…got me. And, again, I’m not ashamed to admit that I didn’t know what I was reading so all of this was just such a delightful surprise. I can’t go on anymore lest I spoil things, but just know…he has my whole heart for my whole life.

She took out her phone. There was a message from the detective. Working a case. Stay put. Will call when I’m done. DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
“It’s like he doesn’t even know me.”

Alex…she was rough, but I loved her. I loved her attitude. Her tenacity. The way she couldn’t give up even though she should have for her own self-preservation. Her mix of tough/desire to be liked and loved touched my heart. I am a sucker for heroines that have a darkness to them, that can push past that darkness at any point, but have a deep softness and willingness to be accepted and loved. A fierceness to them that never lets them give up, to fight through any and all pain to do what’s right even as they were always treated poorly and without sympathy

-that paired with Darlington’s moral compass, I was dead. I loved it so much. All that, and her relatability. Her inner snark, her quips in response to literally everyone. I felt so much kinship in those moments because, even if I don’t say something, best believe I’m thinking it and I just loved her dialogue.

Colin’s enthusiasm always seemed genuine, but sometimes its sheer wattage made her want to do something abruptly violent like put a pencil through his palm.

#relatable

And, finally, the atmosphere. Again, not near as dark as I had anticipated, but there were moments of such levity that I did feel submerged in darkness. There is up and down, yin and yang, and that’s probably my favorite sort of story. I love a good ‘darker’ ya fantasy because I think they are rarer, but I do like some light moments sprinkled between-that is the case here. That’s not to say there is any lack of battering, bone-crunching, or all out gore, because there is, [PLENTLY]. But I didn’t feel weighed down by it, and perhaps that was my largest fear.

The drug was telling her brain that everything was okay, that anything was possible, that if she willed it, she could heal herself right now. But the pain was shrieking panic, banging on her awareness, a fist against glass. She could feel a splinter starting, her sanity like a windshield that wasn’t meant to break. She’d been called crazy countless times, had sometimes believed it, but this was the first time she’d felt insane.

So all in all this book jumped to an absolute favorite out of nowhere. I shouldn’t have been surprised though, as Leigh Bardugo really doesn’t release mediocrity-it’s just not her thing. So, even though this was off my radar due to the gruesome nature, once I FINALLY heard a release for book two, I was all in immediately (inexplicably), even after telling myself I’d never read it. And, I’ll admit it, I’m a whore for good book art and I saw a print of Darlington and Alex that spoke to me, that made my heart pitter patter, and that’s what really led me here. I’m not ashamed to admit that I owe this new absolute favorite to that piece of art. Isn’t it beautiful tgat the extension of our artistic expression can change a person’s perspective on something they believed to be vile and not something they’d give a second glance to? It’s beautiful to me-and amazing-that someone’s renderings of their deepest personal manifestation can help me to visualize what I couldn’t fathom before. How far we’ve come, Bookish Friends. And whether it be the atmosphere, the characters, or the utter surprise of the depth of this story, I am trash for it, and I will be eagerly awaiting in the shadows for book two to release before I emerge.

FRIEND SCALE:

Arielle-I’ve drug pushed you into it so it’s already too late for your soul. lol
Cassie-You’ve read it.
Jen-NO lol
Anna-Frankly I could see you being either way. I sure hope Darlington brings you the joy he brought me.

******

I am simply trash for Darlington