Tag: Young Adult (Page 101 of 159)

BOOK REVIEW: Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

September 4, 2015 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla.

But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. He’s tall, lean and wearing all black—black T-shirt, black jeans, black sneakers, and a black knit cap that covers his hair completely. He catches me looking and stares at me. I stare right back. His name is Olly.

Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster.

In the beginning there was nothing. And then there was everything.

There are very few things in this world that I take for granted. I have always had a better-than-I-ever-could-have-imagined life, that has never been a secret, but I didn’t act….spoiled….I guess. I always knew that I had super cool parents and unheard of privileges-I loved it, and I never forgot that. But one thing that I absolutely, positively, definitely took for granted…was life. Breathing fresh air, walking outside, hearing birds chirp and trees rustle as the cool breeze brushed my skin in autumn…I won’t lie-Those things?? Those are the most beautiful things in the world-Fall especially, seeing as it’s my favorite season-and I took every crisp breath of fresh air for granted.

Life is a gift. Am I wasting mine?

Not many kids, teenagers, sometimes even adults, realize how amazing their lives-however significant or insignificant they think it is-are. We walk onto our front porch, stretch, sit in a rocking chair looking out into our yard, the woods, a field, whatever we may see, and sip our coffees (or in my case, a soda, preferably Coke or Mountain Dew) and wipe the sleep from our eyes without even thinking about how beautiful this recurring gift is. We hug our dogs, puppies, sons, daughters, families….and think it’s a certainty. It’s not. Each day is a gift, and we often forget to acknowledge it….But Madeline knows the cost of living-and her price is solitude. And oh, what she wouldn’t give to have what we have-even for just five minutes.
I keep thinking about the summer I turned eight. I spent so many days with my forehead pressed against my glass window, bruising myself with my futile wanting. At first I just wanted to look out the window. But then I wanted to go outside. And then I wanted to play with the neighborhood kids, to play with all the kids everywhere, to be normal for just an afternoon, a day, a lifetime.

I think my long introduction has a lot to do with me coming to terms with how amazing my life is-and can be. I complain a lot, you know? It might be human nature, it might just be me, I don’t know. But, every once in a while, I get these small bouts of gratitude where, just for a moment, just a brief, tiny moment, I thank God for everything I have and become mushy and nostalgic as I think about my family, my two little pups (added a new addition this weekend!), and my lovely-most-of-the-time husband. I even find myself quoting my favorite movie (not the book, don’t get it twisted): ‘It’s a beautiful life -insert husband name here or whomever you wish- Hazel Grace’…though, I find it comical to say Hazel Grace because…I’m weird and it annoys the hubbs. As a little girl, when people asked me what I wanted to do, I knew. I would say: I want to be married and have babies and be a stay at home mom who also works for her dad (however THAT was going to work out). I know…not too exciting, right? Well, it was to me.
For the first time in a long time, I want more than I have.

It was what I wanted…and things don’t always work out as we plan. Had it been my decision, I’d have married my high school sweetheart during college-or hey, right after-and we’d have a baby by now and a big, beautiful house. But these things take time, and life isn’t about planning everything out piece-by-piece. I got my Happily-Ever-After….My house, my puppies (still working on stubborn ass for part two), my job with my dad plus more, and, after 10 years of dating, my husband-Moves like a snail, that one. But it didn’t happen as I had planned or when I wanted it to-that’s life. Anyway, my point in all this is that Madeline didn’t get these moments, these rare opportunities. Life hands us a deck of cards, but we don’t totally get to decide how they are dealt and where they are distributed. Maddie didn’t get to see the world, she didn’t get to meet other kids growing up-She dreamed of a better life, of a larger world than outside her house…but that’s literally all it could be: A dream.

Madeline: I’m not a princess.
Madeline: And I don’t need rescuing.
Olly: that’s ok. i’m no prince
Madeline: You think I’m pretty?
Olly: for a fairytale ghost spy princess? definitely

I think this book hit me so hard because it was so unexpected. I requested it months and months ago on Netgalley, and I wanted it more than my next breath…but I didn’t get it-I even got denied twice. I mean…ouch. So I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. And when this finally appeared on my IPad’s library…I stopped the series I was in the middle of and immediately began EE. Needless to say that, while it was cute and I found it very sweet, I wasn’t in love with it like I had thought I would be-Talk about your very soul aching. I had thought this was going to be the book-I was so disappointed.
Sometimes you do things for the right reasons and sometimes for the wrong ones and sometimes it’s impossible to tell the difference.

But then something happened-SOMETHING HUGE-not even in the story, really. All of a sudden I hit a part where, as my friend so astutely pointed out, I started to care not only about the two main characters individually, but as a couple. Olly and Maddie came to life for me-their reactions, their heartache, their struggle hurt me almost as much as it hurt them. It felt as if someone had taken a bag of feels-literally, a bag of GD feels-and socked me in the stomach with them at full force. I couldn’t breathe, I was tearing up (for real, this rarely happens), and I was so invested in them that I couldn’t bear for any more problems to arise, causing them irreparable sadness. I suddenly knew that everything I questioned, everything I wasn’t sure of…..I knew it was just the way it was meant to be and given a second chance to read this, I wouldn’t change a thing-Not one thing. It hit me out of nowhere and I was caught in their adorably tangled web of IM Messaging, window writing, sporadic meeting, and brief glimpses through two panes of glass-Only one house away but as vast as an ocean separating two continents.
He takes a deep breath. “In my head I know I’ve been in love before, but it doesn’t feel like it. Being in love with you is better than the first time. It feels like the first time and the last time and the only time all at once.”

Maddie, Madeline, or Mads, as Olly calls her, has a very rare disease where, well, I guess I’m kind of confused on, but the point is she can’t leave her house, have contact with anyone aside from her mother, caretaker, tutor, or anyone on the approved list-She especially can’t meet that boy next door…that beautiful, funny, tortured, and clever boy next door. But it’s not because of his lack of trying.

One thing I’m certain of: Wanting just leads to more wanting. There’s no end to desire.

Olly moves in next door near the beginning of the book. I can’t say much. All I can say is that his family has their own demons and Mads sees all….It doesn’t take long for the two to realize how much they crave the other’s thoughts and company…seeing as their bedroom windows (conveniently) face each other only three feet or so apart. I loved Olly…but I didn’t luuuuurrrvvvv Olly until a certain point. I’m not going to say more….I will only admonish that he is supportive, kind, sad, loyal, protective, and…hmm…curious. Despite the risks, despite the warnings, he is curious. Even when, in his heart, he knows he should stay away, he still can’t let their interactions go. He craves her laughter, her voice, her thoughts, even as everything can only end in heartbreak for both of them.
Madeline: Yes. I have a solution to our problem.
Olly: listening
Madeline: Let’s agree to just be friends, ok?
Olly: ok
Olly: but no more checking out my muscles
Madeline: Friends, Olly!
Olly: and my eyes
Madeline: No more talking about my freckles.
Madeline: And my hair.
Olly: and your lips
Madeline: And your dimple.
Olly: you like my dimple?
Madeline: Friends!
Olly: ok

Inevitably, the two fools fall in love. And naturally, being the fool that I am, I foolishly fell in love with the fact that they fell in love. And I can’t explain it for you guys, I really can’t, because this was a three until a certain important, pivotal, ground-breaking part….But at that point it all just clicked and the light bulb switched on and I became a hard core fangirl, hehe shocking, and it was all history from there. I was texting people frantically, I was freaking out over things I had read in reviews (sigh, don’t read reviews, people, bad advertising!!!!), and the knots in my stomach were growing larger and larger and the tears were coming more and more frequently….until eventually my heart was shred in two.
He pulls me into his arms and we’re wrapped around each other, his face buried in my hair and my face pressed into his chest, no daylight between our bodies.
“Don’t die,” he says.
“I won’t,” I say back.

I can’t say this book is perfect-far from it-but it was….it was perfect for me. I had wanted to read it for months. I was almost obsessed in my quest to get this novel in my hands…and then when I finally had it, I almost became disappointed. How can anything come of such cuteness? Well, I’ll tell ya-Young love is a powerful thing. It can move mountains, if only because teenagers are so stubborn, and it can make a desperate attempt at keeping someone alive a failed experiment in two seconds flat…if only because you are willing to risk it all for love.
He’s much too smart to fall for this, but he wants it to be true. He wants it to be true more than he wants the truth. The smile that breaks across his face is cautious, but so beautiful that I can’t look away. I would lie to him again for that smile.

That was a common theme in this book, and Madeline is faced with so many choices that can make or break her-literally. And once she met Olly, everything changed: Her world was blown to bits and flipped upside down. Life is about the choices we make, who we are and who we want to become. Life is precious. Life is short. We only have one life to live…But are you really living if you aren’t willing to ever take any risks? I guess Madeline found out what her life was worth….Have you?

*****************************

It was Everything I didn’t expect,
It was Everything I asked for.
It was Everything that mattered,
It was Everything and so much more.

Guys, I didn’t expect to love this book once I started. I was so unsure….but then something happened…something that changed it all. And of all a sudden-BAM! The tears, the feels, the longing, the heartache…the
hope
.

Review to come.

BOOK REVIEW: How to Lead a Life of Crime by Kirsten Miller

August 28, 2015 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

How to Lead a Life of Crime by Kirsten Miller
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
A meth dealer. A prostitute. A serial killer.

Anywhere else, they’d be vermin. At the Mandel Academy, they’re called prodigies. The most exclusive school in New York City has been training young criminals for over a century. Only the most ruthless students are allowed to graduate. The rest disappear.

Flick, a teenage pickpocket, has risen to the top of his class. But then Mandel recruits a fierce new competitor who also happens to be Flick’s old flame. They’ve been told only one of them will make it out of the Mandel Academy. Will they find a way to save each other—or will the school destroy them both?

“What takes more guts? To fight for your own life at any cost-or prove that you’re willing to lose it?”

Well, well, well….I am so beyond happy. <<< Eew that sentence, but it’s so true! Months ago, I read a series that I absolutely cherished, adored, obsessed over-I Hunt Killers. It took me a long time to get over my Jazz boy, and anyone that didn’t grasp my level of obsession over him would have to have been blind or wholly disinterested. But what do you do when you can’t make extra books appear out of thin air when your favorite series of the year ends? You find similar books.

I don’t care about Ghosts or girls anymore. I don’t give a damn about proof. This monster is just waiting for a chance to kill it’s creator. One way or another, I’ll get out. And then I’m going to destroy him.

But, as it was, when I started this, I couldn’t stop thinking of my wonderful Jazzy boy. So, this was put on hold until I could get my head out of that world and I could focus on this one. My long winded story ends here, I promise-This weekend I couldn’t get into my book, so I scoured my e-library and saw this beauty. It suited my mood, it reminded me of a favorite, had an addicting and compelling story, and it had an amazing male lead that had me rooting for him from beginning to end. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this book…but, in the end, it was a thrilling page turner that kept me on the edge of my seat.

I would sacrifice almost anything to stay here with her. And that’s exactly why I have to leave. She will keep me from becoming what I need to be. And if she tries to save me, I will end up destroying her.

And that’s the best part-It wasn’t extremely fast-paced, it wasn’t action on each and every page, and it wasn’t what you’d expect. But, with all that being said, it was so much better. It was chilling, intense, underhanded, and brutal in it’s subtlety. I didn’t need non-stop action, nor did I need millions of things to happen at once. This story was so manipulative and gripping that I never once was thinking about anything but what was happening in front of my face-that is so rare for me. I am always thinking to the next chapter, the next page, the next problem, but because this was so intense I was so worried for our main character that I only cared what was happening to him in the here and now.
I thought this time, I was willing to do anything. Now Mandel will know that it’s all just an act. Because there’s one thing that I will not do. Not even to save the world from a monster. I won’t let Joi die.

I don’t know what I was expecting when I went into this, but I never expected for it to have The Testing vibes mixed with an I Hunt Killers theme I so immensely craved. And, even more than that, it was sad. Our poor boy, who had lived an inexplicably sad and undeserved life, was hurting-and rightfully so. More than once my heart ached for him and was torn to shreds as he imagined his little brother right beside him, even though he never truly could be again.

I’m not a lost boy, and I’m too old for a Wendy. But I want to remember her once before I let her go. All I get is a faint whiff of jasmine before my dream’s interrupted. And then the last person I’ll love is gone for good.

I choked on tears, wished for a better life than what he got, and hoped for him to make it out of Mandel Academy alive….but that’s hard to accomplish when you set out to make enemies.

Second period just started, and I already have five enemies, a pretty blond stalker, and zero friends. It’s a record, even for me.

Flick (No, that’s not his real name) is a thief, a boy so good at pick-pocketing on the streets that all it takes is a flick of his wrist and he has your license, your money, your life in his hands-clever, eh?? His humor is exactly what I love in these books. Thrown into a world he’d have never wanted after losing his mother and almost identical brother, the only two happy things in his life, and being beaten for the most minuscule things (I mean it-like, being beaten to a bloody pulp) by his father, Flick is what you could probably call a ‘tortured’ male lead.
When I was younger, I’d make Jude stand beside me in front of my mother’s closet mirror. We looked so much alike. I couldn’t see what the difference was-I couldn’t understand how my father could love one of us and loathe the other.

So, when he is offered a chance to go to Mandel Academy in exchange for information that will help him take down his father, the reason for all the bad things in his life, he accepts….but at a price-he must leave Joi, his last happy thing, behind without a word or notice.

Suddenly I see the problem with Jude’s brilliant advice. Be who you want to be, he said. Well, the person I’d like to be would save View Spoiler »Violet « Hide Spoiler. But that would be dangerous. I could die trying-and there’s only one of me to sacrifice.

I’ll be quick-Joi is who makes him strive to be better, what keeps him from flipping his switch and turning into a monster. She helps anyone and everyone, never turning down even the most lost of souls, and she is a ray of sunshine in his-and many other children’s-bleak world. But don’t be mistaken-Joi can be a badass, too. But I don’t want to spoil that for you ;).

Maybe he’s not going to give me the choice to trade my life for hers. Maybe he’s found another way to force me to watch the girl I love be destroyed.

All in all, I never expected much from this story. I didn’t know where it was going or when the blurb would come into play-but I was never bored. And the minute the blurb does kick in? Wow. The things Flick has to do, the intense, multi-layered cast of CRAZY characters he has to encounter and go through….Wow. Keep your eye on a certain…yeah, never mind. Just watch out, ‘K? It’s never safe. Never trust anyone. And don’t do anything you can’t live with. This chilling cast of characters will make your head spin…..and I still am thinking about it, even a day after finishing.

This is how it feels to lose your last hope. To stop treading water. To unplug life support.

BOOK REVIEW: Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy

August 24, 2015 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
What if you'd been living your life as if you were dying—only to find out that you had your whole future ahead of you?

When sixteen-year-old Alice is diagnosed with leukemia, her prognosis is grim. To maximize the time she does have, she vows to spend her final months righting wrongs—however she sees fit. She convinces her friend Harvey, who she knows has always had feelings for her, to help her with a crazy bucket list that's as much about revenge (humiliating her ex-boyfriend and getting back at her archnemesis) as it is about hope (doing something unexpectedly kind for a stranger). But just when Alice's scores are settled, she goes into remission.

Now Alice is forced to face the consequences of all that she's said and done, as well as her true feelings for Harvey. But has she caused irreparable damage to the people around her—and to the one person who matters most?

Julie Murphy's Side Effects May Vary is a fearless and moving tour de force about love, life, and facing your own mortality.

Karma was a bitch, but so was I.

Once upon a time, there was a girl. This girl grew up with her best friend, her partner in crime, and they were inseparable. She was the ring-leader, and he’d follow her anywhere. He’d do anything for her, because he had fallen madly in love with her. They got to high school. They drifted apart. Then one day, her world shattered with the uttering of three simple words: You have cancer. And with the proclamation of these words, the world became clearer. Her world began to focus, align. She would get the boy on her side again. She would start a bucket list. But not just any bucket list-she would make all those who wronged her pay. Her story isn’t pretty. Her story isn’t nice. She manipulates, breaks hearts, and makes people’s lives (or one person’s in particular) a living hell. You will not like her. You will not condone her actions. But you will finish this, and you will sympathize with her. Your morbid curiosity-and longing for the boy to get what he wants-will win out…but you won’t like the harsh reality. I warned you.

Cancer would take away plenty. My hair, my body, my life. What I’d never realized, though, was that there was one privilege to dying: the right to live without consequence.

Wow. I just don’t even know what to say to this?? What a harsh, manipulative, heart-breaking,
addicting book. Never have I read something that conflicted my feelings so much…okay, lies-But it’s been a while! I went into this not really knowing what I was getting myself into. The reviews are dreadfully mixed, ranging from ‘wow this was epic’ to…yeah, I won’t even say it. Alice isn’t a nice girl-of that I was sure of. But the extents she goes to?? I just never…I never expected it. Now, listen to this. It wasn’t even the payback. Sorry, guys, her bucket list was epic. But no, she treated Harvey, her best friend, the boy who has loved her since they were kids, like shit. This? This was extremely hard to handle.

When the girl you loved was dying, it was hard not to let yourself go with her.

Everyone knows I am always on the boy’s side. It’s inevitable-that’s just meeeeee. But in this one, I don’t see how you couldn’t feel horrible for the boy. How you couldn’t fall in love with him and be on his side. He was the kindest person ever-He’d drop everything to help Alice. He’d humiliate himself in front of the whole school to save her. He’d protect at any and all costs, even if he felt like he was losing a piece of his soul-and he did. He really, truly lost a part of himself in this story, and it tore me to shreds. He would sacrifice everything for her…but there’s a point where even the most in love, dedicated guys can’t take the heartache anymore. Naturally this was when I felt like my heart had went through a wood chipper. Enough was enough….but when you’re madly, truly deeply in love with someone, when do you give up? Never.

When I dropped her off, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, a small gesture that she knew would appease me. I hated myself for letting it be this way, and I hated her for making it this way. But, really, I loved her, and that hurt the worst of all because I was tired of being her debris.

Alice was a bitch. A manipulative asshole. A vengeful little shit. She was beyond redemption and deserved everything that came her way…but, yet….I understood her. I even liked her sometimes-Go figure. But, as I said, every time she manipulated Harvey I didn’t like her. Anyone that can treat someone that way is disgusting, no matter the circumstances. What she went through was horrible, dreadful, but in no way excused treating someone you love that way. Her bucket list was complete, she was on her death bed, when she finally gets the news any person would cherish and grip onto with their last shred of hope and dignity-You’re in remission. But not Alice-Alice has a lot to atone for…and she’s in deep shit.
Oh shit.
This, I did not expect. This was not on my list.

One thing I must say was that the writing wasn’t quite what I’d expected it to be-It didn’t flow as much as my favorite books have lately and it was missing a lyrical quality I’ve grown accustomed to, but that is probably due in part to the intensity of every page. You weren’t focused on the writing so much as Harvey’s heart breaking into little tiny pieces chapter by chapter, and of course that stunted every line, every paragraph-the lines were blurred, but only because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. It was written in a then and now fashion, which I loathe normally. But as the story progressed, it only served to produce impact-POWERFUL IMPACT…and it made me think the story was perfect as it was and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d known her my whole life. Other girls didn’t exist for me in the same way she did. They had been there all along, these feelings; the only thing that had changed was my understanding of them. My whole body finally connected the dots, and I realized that even if we were never together, she’d ruined me and I’d never feel that way about anyone again.

****
On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my hope, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.
I was thirteen years old, and she was all these things to me.
And I was her friend.

So, if stories with a morally ambiguous character aren’t your thing, I’d steer clear of this story altogether. It’s not a sweet story (unless you count Harvey and Alice’s love story), it’s not light or easy or wholly likable…but it has heart. It has substance. And it might or might not be gratifying, in the end….but this story became beyond addictive and had my stomach in knots from beginning to end….And never has revenge tasted so sweet.

BOOK REVIEW: The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider

August 21, 2015 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Golden boy Ezra Faulkner believes everyone has a tragedy waiting for them—a single encounter after which everything that really matters will happen. His particular tragedy waited until he was primed to lose it all: in one spectacular night, a reckless driver shatters Ezra’s knee, his athletic career, and his social life.

No longer a front-runner for Homecoming King, Ezra finds himself at the table of misfits, where he encounters new girl Cassidy Thorpe. Cassidy is unlike anyone Ezra’s ever met, achingly effortless, fiercely intelligent, and determined to bring Ezra along on her endless adventures.

But as Ezra dives into his new studies, new friendships, and new love, he learns that some people, like books, are easy to misread. And now he must consider: if one’s singular tragedy has already hit and everything after it has mattered quite a bit, what happens when more misfortune strikes?

Robyn Schneider’s The Beginning of Everything is a lyrical, witty, and heart-wrenching novel about how difficult it is to play the part that people expect, and how new beginnings can stem from abrupt and tragic endings.

I thought about the metal in my knee, replacing this piece of me that was missing, that no longer worked. And it wasn’t my heart, I kept telling myself. It wasn’t my heart.

Ah, okay…so. So. I’m going to venture out and say I have no clue what I want to say. There. Simple. I said it. Except…I had so much to say. I had little notes written here and there and I found some great enjoyment and humor from page one to the end. And then there was so much sadness entwined in each layer of humor, of each dig at his being crippled. It was a very complex book in the aspect that you didn’t know if you should be happy or sad sometimes….Like, at times, I wondered why this book focused so much on popularity, like it was almost mockingly downplaying the tragedy of his accident. But then, before I could get too judgmental, the main character kind of snapped out of it-He began to see life for what it really was, what it meant, who he could be…and that’s where I found my greatest enjoyment.

Everyone’s life, no matter how unremarkable, has a moment when it will become extraordinary-a single encounter after which everything that really matters will happen.

I’m sure a lot of teens do go through the motions from day-to-day, taking for granted the fact that they woke up breathing, had many friends, and were a part of whatever tier their little social hierarchy was…I know I did. I never cared or thought twice about who I was or where I ranked. I never had to worry about it-until I did. Life changes. People evolve. You meet your soul mate or whoever you think you should be with, you make career choices or college choices or even life choices, and your friends might no longer be compatible with where you are going. I understand that, because it happened to me. I never thought of my rank…until I met THE one-Yeah, that guy I’m married to, now.

Tennis was like a video game, one that I’d beat a million times, with the pleasure of winning long gone. A game that I’d kept on playing because people expected me to, and I was good at doing what people expected. But not anymore, because no one seemed to expect anything from me anymore. The funny thing about gold is how quickly it can tarnish.

It’s funny how quickly people turn on you when you don’t want to hang out with endless boys every Friday and Saturday night like they used to ask you to-how quickly I was outcast-It was almost comical. But what happens when you are outcast from the ‘awesomest group of friends ever?’ You move the fuck on-just like I did. You see, part of who I can say I was (and I still am, really), is that I never was mean to people. I had friends in every clique, group, sports team, whatever. So I just walked to the other side of the hallway to my other friends standing by their lockers, and it was as easy as breathing-except it wasn’t. It hurt. It hurt like a mother fucker that my best friend, the girl who had spent the night at my house for a whole summer while we stayed up ’til 4 AM watching scary movies and binge-drinking Mountain Dew (except when we had a game the next day!), had iced me out, was spreading rumors about me, talking behind my back, and generally trying to make my life a living hell-and it was-internally. Keep in mind: One day we were totally fine, the next, people were approaching me saying that my best friend was talking about me and we apparently weren’t friends anymore. This was news to me. All because of who I chose to date. It’s sick, and there’s more to the story, as there always is, but that’s the gist of it. We were at pivotal moments in our lives, and she wanted to start rebelling, to start drinking and partying, as most kids do, I realize, but I was never that way. I didn’t need anyone to pull me in that direction, my parents aren’t/weren’t drinkers, so I was never going to take that path. She had started to go out behind my back (I don’t know why? I wouldn’t have cared…just proof positive of her insecurities-who am I to judge? You’re my best friend for fuck sakes…) and fib-Me dating my now-husband was just the final jealous nail in the coffin. It is what it is. My point? While it hurt that my soccer friends and everyone on that social tier was being kind of ridiculous, I held my head high like I didn’t care, moved on to my other friends, and walked down the hallways laughing and acting as if my world hadn’t changed. Sometimes life takes a direction you never expected-but it makes you a better person for it, in the end.

It was like the part of me that had enjoyed those friends had evaporated, leaving behind a huge, echoing emptiness, and I was scrabbling on the edge of it, trying not to fall into the hole within myself because I was terrified to find out how far down it went.

And believe me when I say that I had no intention of writing any of that-it never even crossed my mind while reading this book, but, for some reason, when I started this review, that story felt relevant. You know, the lack of similarities as you grow older, the fact that I chose to take a different path, a harder path. Oh, PS, she had apologized a year later-after I was okay with standing on the other side of the field during soccer practice and acting like it didn’t bother me at all to hang with other girls on the team. It came in the form of-“Oh, wow *grabs ear* when did you get this pierced? That’s cool!” I guess we acted like it never happened…except for a letter of apology. Needless to say, we barely talk now, but we’re on okay terms. Sigh. Anyway. I am not comparing myself to Ezra, I think he was a little skewed on his thoughts of who he should hang out with and why…but it felt right to mention that, even when things aren’t going the way you want them to, it might not be the worst thing to happen to you, nor is it the end of the world.

He’d grown up into exactly the unabashedly nerdy, quick-witted guy you’d expect from a kid who went door-to-door selling homemade comics to raise the start-up capital for our summer lemonade stand when we were ten. And I’d grown up into a massive douche-with a cane.

My story had a happily ever after….but did Ezra’s? His story, even from the beginning, while riddled with his humor, had a dark undertone. His life was tennis, he was popular, he had a girlfriend…then one fateful night he gets slammed into by an SUV-shattering his knee beyond repair. He will never get to play tennis again. His whole life, career path, etc, are gone…or so he thinks. I loved that he was a closet nerd. It made me deliriously happy, actually. I can’t say I always loved all the conversations he had with his new found (some old, some new) group, but I loved the sincerity with which he connected with them-how he finally felt like he belonged and that was where he always should have been. I loved Ezra, in the end.

She was achingly effortless, and she would never, in a million years, choose me. But, for the next few minutes, I contented myself with the magnificent possibility that she might.

I had a lot of problems with this book. I can’t even tell you why (See blur rating shelf above). But some things I can tell you:

1. The Romance-Fuck that bitch, Ezra, you could do better. I didn’t like her-ever. But that’s my personal opinion. My heart melted as he fell in love with the mysterious Cassidy Thorpe. He was such a fragile, adorable boy who fell for a girl completely high on herself. Eh, I’m biased, sue me.

As always, she left me wanting more, and dreaming of what it would be like if I ever got it.

*****************

She tasted like buried treasure and swing sets and coffee. She tasted the way fireworks felt, like something you could get close to but never really have just for yourself.

2. The Plot-While a wonderful message, in the end (for a while it seemed a tad clique-y and cliche, maybe it always was, but I stopped seeing it near the end), it was a tad day-to-day activity for me, and I didn’t like the people he surrounded himself with enough to love it.

3. The Characters– See above. But I loved Toby and Cooper. More on Cooper here in a sec. I never really believed the character’s reactions-not all of them, anyway. Some of it felt false or misplaced and I kind of thought those parts were a little exaggerated. But that’s probably just me.

4. The Voice/Humor– I LOVED Ezra’s voice. I wasn’t sure at first, but as the story progressed, I started to highlight more and more of his hilarious voice. His humor was THE BEST. Perfectly cheesy humor and bad puns-win.

5. Nostalgic References– If you were a child of the 90’s, or even remotely aware of any happenings, toys, shows, etc. in the 90’s, the nostalgic ramblings, conversations, and throw backs were epic. I was smiling SO big about stuff I had long forgotten. Wow.

6. Cooper–Cooper the dog was by far my second favorite character. The way he talks to him and the bond they have breaks my heart. He had read The Great Gatsby over the summer and had a ton of those type of references, imagining the dog referring to him as ‘old sport’ on more than one occasion. I LOVED this dog-he is loyal, fun, and a total badass….I absolutely adored this aspect.

7. I cried–That is all. Out of nowhere. Right in the feels.

We move through each other’s lives like ghosts, leaving behind haunting memories of people who never existed. The popular jock. The mysterious new girl. But we’re the ones who choose, in the end, how people see us. And I’d rather be misremembered.

So, without further adieu, I will wrap this up. I never meant for this to be long. It was actually supposed to be short because I both loved and hated this…but sometimes, as my friend just said, the review decides for you. I think there was a lot of stereotype stuff in here, but the message was clear: It wanted to be stereotypical. It wanted the message to pop out at the end for all to see, and I get what the author was doing. I just wonder if people with this dislike in books will be able to get past that and the somewhat slow pace to actually get to the message at the end. I don’t know. Either way, I had a fun time with this one-for the most part.

**PS, there were literally so many quotes I wanted to use that I couldn’t-if nothing else, this book had a million quotable parts. I am sad I didn’t have enough room, lol.

***

This one hurt, Guys-really, truly, deeply. Ouch.

But not for the reasons you’d suspect….Or maybe exactly for the reasons you suspect. Who knows.

Review to come.

BOOK REVIEW: Poison Study (Study #1) by Maria V. Snyder

August 17, 2015 / Chelsea / 4 Comments

Poison Study (Study #1)
by Maria V. Snyder
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Choose: A quick death…Or slow poison...

About to be executed for murder, Yelena is offered an extraordinary reprieve. She'll eat the best meals, have rooms in the palace—and risk assassination by anyone trying to kill the Commander of Ixia.

And so Yelena chooses to become a food taster. But the chief of security, leaving nothing to chance, deliberately feeds her Butterfly's Dust—and only by appearing for her daily antidote will she delay an agonizing death from the poison.

As Yelena tries to escape her new dilemma, disasters keep mounting. Rebels plot to seize Ixia and Yelena develops magical powers she can't control. Her life is threatened again and choices must be made. But this time the outcomes aren't so clear..

Who better to have on my side? Rand, the cook, whose food I’d be eating on a daily basis, or Valek, the assassin, who had a nasty tendency of poisoning my meals?

Ahhh where do I even begin??? Is there even an adequate place to start? Wellll, first I’d like to give a shout out to my two vacant besties who did a ~~wonderful~~ horrible job of reading this with me-Hello, Bitches (you know who you are, my lovelies). They really missed out. While subtle in it’s charm, this book sneaks up on you like poison in your veins (Muaha I went there).

With a soft, languid pace, this book tricks you with it’s addicting nature-It isn’t rushed, hurried, nor overly stuffed with information, yet each chapter something significant happens that has you on the edge of your seat. Whether it’s an attack on Yelena to abduct her, a poison lecture on what to watch out for, or an actual tasting for the commander, I was never once bored and found myself idly wondering how this book could so be wonderful with it’s understated simplicity.

Shouldn’t, should, shouldn’t, should. So easy to say but so hard to believe.

I think that’s my favorite part, if I’m being honest-aside from the romance, duh-the beautiful writing. I don’t know why, but each page that passed had me begging for more even as plenty was happening. For such a simple job, Yelena has a lot of enemies, and with those enemies comes attacks, training, and so much more. I yearned for those moments when Valek had to come save the day because there was yet another threat on her life (and no, it wasn’t a tacky nine-lives deal like the Kathleen Turner series…this chick had real enemies). But he’s another story altogether…

I moved. In a heartbeat I twisted her arm behind her back. She yelped as I raised her hand up high, forcing her to bend forward.
“I am not a rat,” I said through clenched teeth. “I’ve proved my loyalty. You will get off my back. No more nasty messages in the dust. No more prying into my things. Or the next time, I’ll break your arm.” I shoved her hard as I released my grip.

Yelena. Omg I loved her. She was strong, determined, cunning, and brave. She was weak, scared, and the target of an evil man. She was so many things all wrapped up into one small package, and she was on the last leg of her life. A convicted and admitted murderer, she is next in line for noose. But then an opportunity arises where the next in line to die is to be offered the position of poison testing the Commander’s food. He is a powerful man who has many powerful enemies-all who want to be his successor and take his position as their own. So Yelena has a choice-die by noose the following morning, or agree to be the guinea pig and possibly die by poison on any given day if she doesn’t detect all traces of poison at any given time. But, in the end, there’s really no choice at all-Live with danger, or die.

Damn it, I thought, angry at myself. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about. I shouldn’t miss Valek; I should try harder to escape. I shouldn’t figure out the bean puzzle; I should sabotage it. I shouldn’t admire and respect him; I should vilify him.

Valek. Oh gosh he was perfection. A trained assassin loyal only to the Commander, he is appointed with teaching Yelena the art of poisons so she can be the food taster for the commander. Up until Yelena, Valek has been filling in the position after the last food taster met his untimely end. He is fierce, loyal, and a total hardass when it comes to training Yelena…but the same could be said of his defending her. A convicted felon is nothing in comparison to keeping his commander safe, but what happens when she starts to show her strength and determination? Her willingness to do whatever needs to be done to stay alive? What happens when attack after attack, he grows more and more desperate to keep her alive….even as he implies it’s nothing more than him doing his job and not wanting to have to train another poison tester.

My interactions with Valek resembled a performance on the tightrope. One minute I was confident and balanced, and the next insecure and unstable.

Come on, Valek, you adorably sly dog. We all know after training you should be moving on…Anywho, I adored them. They were absolutely adorable. He is a busy bee and she is doing everything she can to stay alive…but each time she thinks she’s alone and there’s no way she’ll get out of her predicament, who’s right behind her to save the day? A slow burn romance at it’s finest, we see them gradually falling for one another as each day passes, more confusion and desperation in preventing each action that might cause them pain or suffering…I couldn’t help but to become addicted, now could I?

Even more than the romance, though, was the friendships formed. I mean, it was absolutely adorable when she befriends two soldiers and they do everything in their power to keep her safe when Valek can’t. Loyal friends who train her in combat and watch out for her at every turn, I was almost as obsessed with them as I was the romance. It’s not often I find a friendship addicting, but this one got under my skin.

“It’s a dirty way to fight, but I’m late for lunch.”

So, you know, I loved this one. And why wouldn’t I? Romance, betrayal, a mercurial assassin, and a ton of action that never seems to cease no matter how breezy the pace, I was hooked from Valek’s first smirk (Chapter one, duh). I know there was much more I wanted to say, but sometimes it’s best to leave things be. I will try to chill out and let you all decide on your own if this is for you or not-but just know: It’s not only a romance, though there is an ample amount of longing you’ll do for she and Valek to just kiss already!!! It’s a story of strength and strong-will, a determination to break free and save what you hold dear, and a wonderful world of castles and watching your back even though you have a group that supports your every move…I just loved it so much. Literally my only problem? I wanted more. Sigh…such a horrible predicament, isn’t it? Ciao, Bellas.