Author: Chelsea (Page 42 of 111)

BOOK REVIEW: The Year We Fell Apart

February 6, 2016 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

The Year We Fell Apart by Emily Martin
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
In the tradition of Sarah Dessen, this powerful debut novel is a compelling portrait of a young girl coping with her mother’s cancer as she figures out how to learn from—and fix—her past.

Few things come as naturally to Harper as epic mistakes. In the past year she was kicked off the swim team, earned a reputation as Carson High’s easiest hook-up, and officially became the black sheep of her family. But her worst mistake was destroying her relationship with her best friend, Declan.

Now, after two semesters of silence, Declan is home from boarding school for the summer. Everything about him is different—he’s taller, stronger…more handsome. Harper has changed, too, especially in the wake of her mom’s cancer diagnosis.

While Declan wants nothing to do with Harper, he’s still Declan, her Declan, and the only person she wants to talk to about what’s really going on. But he’s also the one person she’s lost the right to seek comfort from.

As their mutual friends and shared histories draw them together again, Harper and Declan must decide which parts of their past are still salvageable, and which parts they’ll have to let go of once and for all.

In this honest and affecting tale of friendship and first love, Emily Martin brings to vivid life the trials and struggles of high school and the ability to learn from past mistakes over the course of one steamy North Carolina summer.

*No rating*

“I know what you’re probably thinking after tonight. But it’s not…I mean, people say things that aren’t…”

The rest dissolves on my tongue. Declan’s fingers graze my collarbone and grasp the chain of my necklace. He pulls it out from underneath my shirt and slides it down to the infinity pendant at the bottom before letting it go.
“I know who you are.”

Yeah yeah I know……I read this book a week or more ago. Well, I just now feel like reviewing it and I don’t feel like skipping it because I have some truly amazing gifs that fit this book and review perfectly. I don’t plan on saying much and I don’t want to ramble on; However, I have to say something….otherwise I would feel rather incomplete. And I HATE feeling incomplete. I’ve had to pass up way too many reviews due to time restraints and overlaps when reading too many books…and I don’t plan on continuing that trend more than I have to.

I drive home in silence. When I turn onto my street, I pull over and crank the radio up loud. I reach for the spare towel I keep in the backseat, roll it into a ball, and cover my mouth.
Scream until my voice goes hoarse.

This book. Hm. Well, I did really enjoy it-Honestly. But there was just so much that could have been done and handled differently that would have made this a definite five star-EASILY. As it was, too much grated and got under my skin for it to be more positive than negative. But then you flip the coin, and there was just
so much good that had my heart soaring, my feels going haywire, and my smile exploding. And that is exactly why I’m not rating this book-Good or bad.

First ten years of friendship. The kind of friendship that means knowing everything there is to know about each other. Where every one of our scars is, and how we got them. The pitch of his laugh when he’s had a lot of sugar, or exactly what kind of coffee I need after a bad day. Friends who could spend twelve straight hours doing absolutely nothing and still want it to last twelve more. Who listen, even when the other is wrong; even when they’re not making sense. Friends who could be mad at the whole universe, but never got angry with each other for long. Who love each other unconditionally.

Even now, after having a week to think about what suits this book rating wise, I still can’t pin point my exact thoughts down to a rating and find any inflection one way or another. I guess that just goes to prove my point: I can reach into the recesses of my mind all I want, but it’s an equal amount of both positive and unhappy thoughts that resurface. And when I begin to rate it a 5, a 4, a 3, a 3.5, literally nothing feels right.

Then, six months of everything. A spring of skipped heartbeats every time he called me his girlfriend, then a summer of learning what being part of someone really meant. Six months of discovering the sound his heart makes with my head against his chest, and the taste of his tongue after he eats something salty. Or how his breath catches when I kiss his throat, and the way it tickles when he traces my collarbone. Two seasons of feeling more connected to a person than I ever thought possible.

And, in a weird way, that makes me extremely sad. I picked up this book and expected something spectacular. I wanted extreme gushing and unforgettable moments. I longed for passionate moments and flares of extreme emotion-either in hate or love, it didn’t matter. But what I got was a constant string of ups that were quickly followed by downs (mostly by our main character who had issues understanding the consequences of her actions).

Two polls pull me in opposite directions. There’s this girl I’ve been lately, the things I’ve done. And there’s the person I want to be. The girl Declan used to love. And right now I’m neither. I’m stuck, floating between the broken ends.

Harper was….a realistic girl. I’ll say that there were many, many moments where I could agree that I totally understood where she was coming from and might have even mimicked these actions at one point in my life (not the stupid make outs with a loser-REPEATEDLY-or the need to drink to drown my emotions). I, too, had-and still have-bouts where miscommunication was the only form of communication. It reeked havoc on my relationship with my parents and even with my now husband. So many simple little words, sentences, and even texts could have saved me a lot of heartache and prevented a lot of fights. Hey, I’m still trying to get the hang of it, honestly. But the absolute disregard for the obvious and the easy was just too much for me after a certain point (on Harper’s part)-and that point was about 50%.

“I know enough.” He wipes his hand across his mouth. “So what, you’re going to drive him home and then….”
I don’t know what he wants to hear, or whether I’m actually supposed to fill in the blank. I’m not even sure what he’s mad about anymore. But before I can get an answer out, Declan scowls again.
“Whatever. Do what you want. I just don’t like the way he looks at you.”
“Oh, okay, and how’s that?”
His eyes sink down to my necklace and he steps off the sidewalk. “Like you’re replaceable.”

And then Declan. Ah God, he wasn’t without his flaws, that’s for sure. He, too, had moments where the cluelessness could have been taken down a notch. Though..his was purposeful and with reason…So does that make it right or better? A little, if I’m being honest. For one, he didn’t do the whole running off to another girl shit. He loved Harper, it was clear, and never swayed from that. Even when he first got back, you could tell that he had never lost any love or feelings for her, despite whatever had went down. For two, he tried, repeatedly, to make things right. For three…who gives a fuck?? He was clearly more mature, clear-headed, and sure of what he wanted and chose to take higher roads, even after she INCESSANTLY added DANGEROUS speed bumps. Like, fuck sakes, MUST you run off to your asshole friend and smoke and drink every little time something goes wrong? He’s WATCHING OUT FOR YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR HEALTH, YOU LITTLE TWATWAFFLE! Oh yeah, and he’ll love you FOREVER. GAHD!

I nodded, but didn’t say anything until he gently tucked a curl behind my ear. “What am I to you?”
He recoiled from my question. “What are you? Harper, you’re everything.”

So..clearly the anger is still there. And clearly, even as I often sympathized with Harper, she also grated on my every nerve at a certain point. Neither were perfect, but I think it’s more than obvious Declan is the reason this book is so difficult to rate. His loyalty, his friendship, his kindness. Not to mention their mutual friends, both old and new, who were always there for them. Cory (O), Gwen (N), Mackenzie (N).

Declan takes a long breath, avoiding eye contact with me until he pulls himself together. We’re still sprawled out on the ground, and he props himself up on one elbow. He gestures to me.
“That’s the smile.”
I start giggling again. “What?”
His expression softens. He scratches above his eyebrow and shakes his head, suddenly looking almost bashful. “I’ve been waiting all summer to see that smile.”

A story of love lost and found again, given a second chance through mutual forgiveness, mistakes, hopes, and unrelenting belief in the love that was shared and of what could be. More than once I couldn’t breathe and had uncontrollable giggles that couldn’t be stifled. The butterflies from old flash backs, crushed feelings Declan’s face revealed, and new moments filled with curiosity and fumbling emotions that cease to let old feelings die weren’t in short supply. I can’t say I will rec this to anyone, nor can I put my Chelsea stamp of approval-Not enough impressed me to ask friends to give it a try. However, neither will I dismiss it and forget all about it-There was too much that I liked and multiple quotes I’ll never forget. I’m sorry to say that, even though I wrote a review, I am no help-Everyone is on their own. Sorry.

We can’t go back. The only way to change our past is by adding to it.

Final thoughts I forgot to put in (but still want to mention) but am too lazy to go add in somewhere:

-The problem that caused it all wasn’t what I wanted or expected it to be. It wasn’t bad…it was just kind of anti-climactic.
-The loose ends-there were quite a few… but isn’t that like life??
-The way some things were addressed but then never touched again
–Writing was AMAZING

********

I have too many mixed emotions and a convoluted mess of thoughts. Extreme feels, lots of heartache.
Review MAYBE Monday
. Hopefully I’ll be able to decipher my emotions by then. ♥

Declan-5 stars
Harper-3 stars
Supporting friends and cast-5 stars
Her loser friends/Sadie-2 stars
Harper’s decision making skills-1 star

See?? No fucking clue…because…Declan. SO many passionate scenes with him and his deep-rooted love that are hard to forget that make my heart and mind do crazy things. Yikes. In troublleeeee.

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BOOK REVIEW: Falling Kingdoms (Falling Kingdoms #1) by Morgan Rhodes & Michelle Rowen

February 3, 2016 / Chelsea / 1 Comment

Falling Kingdoms (Falling Kingdoms #1)
by Michelle Rowan, Morgan Rhodes
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
In the three kingdoms of Mytica, magic has long been forgotten. And while hard-won peace has reigned for centuries, a deadly unrest now simmers below the surface.

As the rulers of each kingdom grapple for power, the lives of their subjects are brutally transformed... and four key players, royals and rebels alike, find their fates forever intertwined. Cleo, Jonas, Lucia, and Magnus are caught in a dizzying world of treacherous betrayals, shocking murders, secret alliances, and even unforeseen love.

The only outcome that's certain is that kingdoms will fall. Who will emerge triumphant when all they know has collapsed?

It's the eve of war.... Choose your side.

Princess: Raised in pampered luxury, Cleo must now embark on a rough and treacherous journey into enemy territory in search of magic long thought extinct.

Rebel: Jonas, enraged at injustice, lashes out against the forces of oppression that have kept his country cruelly impoverished. To his shock, he finds himself the leader of a people's revolution centuries in the making.

Sorceress: Lucia, adopted at birth into the royal family, discovers the truth about her past—and the supernatural legacy she is destined to wield.

Heir: Bred for aggression and trained to conquer, firstborn son Magnus begins to realize that the heart can be more lethal than the sword....

Weak things were so very easy to break.

(Yes, I used all Dylan O’ Brien Teen Wolf Gifs. Because…pretty)

There are times (well, most of the time, actually) when I know exactly what I want to read, when I’m going to read it, and in what order. This is when I have my [book] shit together. And, in all honestly, this really is a very common occurrence. But then there are times, like right now, where life is kicking me in the balls, the familiar sounds wonderful (ie, new books in my series I love), but I’m in a situation where I’m on the cusp of all my eagerly awaited releases almost being out, but not just quite, and I have a week and one day from tonight when they will be released, one after the other in a beautiful march of wonderful words. So-here I am.

With all this being said, it implies that I am in a slump…which is incorrect. In fact, there are so many books I want to read at this moment that it physically pains me that I can’t read them all at once. But…there comes a time when your mood is so dour that you don’t want to ruin your absolute favorites that you’ve been saving for the best possible moments. And, with this mood, you don’t want to ruin your streak with a wonderful new genre you’ve discovered and became obsessed with, lest you start to dislike it inadvertently because you read it at a bad time or moment in your life. SO. Sosososososoooooo…these zany thoughts led me here: What can you read that you know you won’t judge harshly, that you know you won’t hold a loss against, that you know is excellent but never feel like putting it above your current favorite genres? Well, Folks, that would be YA Fantasy.

All his life he’d endured so much pain and developed only a thin mask to cover his true feelings. But masks could easily be removed and smashed with only a few words.

I know I love it. I know it’s super addicting….but it also requires a certain amount of attention and devotion…And a certain mood. As it just so happens??? I want to be out of this world, out of reality, out of everyday inane activities-And fantasy is the genre to do just that. Well, at least until February 9, when my first release(s) comes out. Tee hee. And luckily my wonderful friend, Rachel, recc’d this to me last week and strongly influenced this decision. A savior, this one.

Oh, and let me preface this review with a little tidbit: I might or might not be drinking some margs while writing this review. Hm. Well. Whatever. Carpe diem and C’est la vie and all that nonsense. 😛

I’ll also cut to the chase fairly early so as to not make this any longer than need be, seeing as I had many base emotions while reading this: My absolute favorite thing about this book was not the action, nor the deception, lies, or magic. No, my favorite thing was not a plot, but a single person: Magnus. My dear dear tortured, dark, and brooding Magnus, the Prince of Blood. Yes *sighs* I am indeed in love with an incestuous little fuck. But…..I don’t know. He wasn’t…disgusting. I can’t even begin to explain away why he feels so strongly for his sister, but I can make it quite simple: He cares so deeply, so strongly for this forbidden desire that it keeps his heart from turning to stone.

Then his heart, now broken into a thousand pieces, slowly began to turn to ice.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve had some margs and it’s making it increasingly difficult to find the correct words to describe what made Magnus so special for me, when normally the obsessive words slide off my tongue with the littlest effort. So, I’ll end it here, even if it kills me: He was perfect in every little tortured, evil, and wounded way, fighting the inherited source of evil that is expected to surface at every moment. He was vulnerable and trusted only one, his sister, who had the means to destroy his mind and fracture his very soul. Yes, he had a major flaw….but I don’t think so many people would love him if he was disgusting, hmmmm??????

Swearing under his breath, he pushed the tears away, vowing that they would be the last he ever shed. Strength, not weakness, was what he needed from this day forward.

One of my least favorite things ever is multiple, MULTIPLE alternating POVs, but in this case, it didn’t bother me. At least, not after meeting them all as their stories began to intertwine the farther the story progressed. I started this book because I needed an escape from reality, but I stayed because it ensnared me. I gave this a four because I just needed a little more-I mean, Magnus can’t do everything, you know?? I did adore more characters than just him, some even gaining more respect as the story came to a close, but something was just missing to make this perfect. Maybe some more peril?? I do love me some peril…. Where have we heard that before?

Minor insta-love in one POV (though it didn’t bother me because…reasons…READ IT YOURSELF), some dumb reasonings for everything behind another (though, to be fair, this might be the booze doin’ the talkin’), and some side characters I could easily see myself slicing the throat of, it wasn’t without it’s flaws. But then there were those constant moments where I didn’t want to put the book down, where I imagined immediately beginning book two right after I finished this installment, where I had a smile on my face and fierce butterflies in my heart even as my mood soured more and more. And frankly?? That means everything. When a book can make you feel as if you are happy even when you aren’t, then it’s more than just a filler-it’s a winner. And for that…I am extremely grateful. Thank you, lovely Rachel, you just partially salvaged my horrid weekend. *Muah*

*******************

An absolute shock and just what I needed to reset my system.

And I will admit….Magnus stole my heart with his dark, little tortured self. Even if some things were weird…

RTC.

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BOOK REVIEW: Split by Swati Avasthi

January 29, 2016 / Chelsea / 2 Comments

Split by Swati Avasthi
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
A riveting portrait of life after abuse from an award-winning novelist.

Sixteen-Year-Old Jace Witherspoon arrives at the doorstep of his estranged brother Christian with a re-landscaped face (courtesy of his father’s fist), $3.84, and a secret.

He tries to move on, going for new friends, a new school, and a new job, but all his changes can’t make him forget what he left behind—his mother, who is still trapped with his dad, and his ex-girlfriend, who is keeping his secret.

At least so far.

Worst of all, Jace realizes that if he really wants to move forward, he may first have to do what scares him most: He may have to go back. Award-winning novelist Swati Avasthi has created a riveting and remarkably nuanced portrait of what happens after. After you’ve said enough, after you’ve run, after you’ve made the split—how do you begin to live again? Readers won’t be able to put this intense page-turner down.

I wonder if I’m a broken kid. Was Christian ever broken? My mother would say, No, too strong, and would sneak a satisfied smile at her folded hands.

What about me, Mom? I would ask.
And the smile would leave her.
She would be right.

Once again I find myself bursting with so many emotions that I can barely contain them…yet at a loss on how I can explain how wonderful, deep, and thought-provoking this book is without tarnishing it’s beautiful simplicity. It’s not often a book speaks to you on such a fast-paced, addicting level, yet keeps a slow, steady pace that manages to portray the overall message without becoming boring. This book wasn’t explosions and romantic rendezvous’ and extreme acts of heroism-It was so much more than that.

Sometimes I wonder why words can’t actually make us bleed.

It was heartbreaking struggle and broken relationships. It was wishful dreaming and regrets of mistakes from the past. It was aching for forgiveness and finding who you are, fighting to be better than you appear to be, even when you can feel the darkness creeping in through the edges of your peripheral vision. This book fought to show what it means to walk away even when it’s hardest…the story not often told: After. What. Happens. After? This was Jace’s story.

In Chicago, I knew everything. I could look at the sky and know how warmly to dress; I knew where every street led, and where every fight would end. I could look at my father and know when to keep my mouth shut, when to piss him off so I could take the hits for my mother, and when only his wife-punching bag would do. I understood when a fight was coming, how fast It was going, where it was going, everything. Fights have a rhythm; they do. I swear it. And they don’t end up like that. Not where I’m from.

I guess I don’t know what I was expecting when I picked this story up. The blurb was clear that our dear Jace was abused, but I didn’t really know just what the story would be about. I mean, yeah-He’s abused by his father, as was his whole family. Years ago, when Jace was 10 or 11 (I forget which), his brother finally had enough of it; Enough of seeing his mother beaten to a bloody pulp; Enough of standing in the line of fire so his mother could avoid another crippling fight; Enough of almost dying. Jace, at the time, was a child-he still idolized his father even though he saw things that made him cringe and retreat to hide frequently. He didn’t understand the magnitude of what was happening and what it meant for his family…even as they were fracturing into pieces right before his eyes.

Fightology Lesson #8: Relax when hits are coming because it hurts less.

When Christian, his brother, left, he thought that Jace would be fine-After all, he was his father’s favorite. But the one thing he didn’t take into account was just how much his brother loved, adored, and looked up to him. He didn’t look past the last rib-breaking blow to see that he was his little brother’s role model….And that when he left, Jace would just step into his place.

Right hook. Let him explain away a shiner. Like I’ve had to. Soccer, I’ve said, Fight, I’ve said, Hockey, basketball, croquet.

Fast forward a few years later: At sixteen, Jace did the one thing that neither his brother nor his mother had ever thought to do: He fought back. Thus leading to the start of the story when Jace shows up on his estranged brother’s doorstep bloody, beaten, wired on Mountain Dew from a 19 hour drive, and barely able to stand on his own two feet. What?? I didn’t say he won, he just tried.

My stomach is starting to flutter because I know what I want to do, and I have stage fright. Fist into his face. Another in his gut. After all, I’ve had a day. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Hit something, hit someone. The moment our fists make contact, we feel better, right, Dad? Let it out. Punish her so she won’t do it again. Right, Dad? Isn’t that the way?

This story, you guys, was just so special to me. It didn’t need loud storytelling or colorful sex scenes to touch my heart. It seemed, from page one, I was a slave to it’s meaningful message and heartfelt words. I can’t even begin to explain the intense feels and capture of each waking thought that this story provoked. Each scene where Jace and his brother would open up a little more to one another-past the pain, the hurt, the secrets-becoming closer through simple acts and small gestures, my heart would squeeze and seize up, forcing me to choke out silent tears for how hard their lives were and how they were slowly, but surely, finding each other again.

It’s weird when someone gets you, understands what you would never say, not even to yourself. It’s so weird that it makes my throat tighten up again. When I speak, my voice comes out small.

For once…I wasn’t rooting for the romance (though there was a very small one that made my heart shine with happiness at each and every turn) to take precedent: I wanted Jace to find his inner strength and peace, his freedom of body and soul and, more than even that, I longed for his loneliness to cease as he and his brother worked to make themselves whole again-One puzzle piece at a time.

“You’re the incentive.”

The writing was so simplistic, yet poetic (at least, to me), out-of-this-world amazing, and spoke to me on so many levels. I can’t always explain why certain styles of writing speak to me, but sometimes it’s just a matter of: Because. And sometimes, that just has to be enough. Each chapter, layered with vivid, imaginative, and candid storytelling, ensnared me in ways I can’t even begin to express. It’s a story not often told, at least not correctly, and I think it’s an important book for people to read. I am on a huge realistic fiction kick, of that I am certain everyone is aware, but none have spoken to me on such a deep emotional level like this one did. Perhaps it was the story itself, or maybe the family bonds that are tested with each dwindling email from his mother, or it might just be the broken down, tortured young man that only wants to begin a new life with his brother…either way, this is my first REAL absolute favorite this year and it somehow feels, I don’t know…it makes me feel as light as air. I’m not sure why-perhaps I am just enlightened…or maybe I just read a truly exceptional story that blew my expectations out of the water.

We all screw up. We all wish we were stronger than we are, and not one of us will get through this life without regret.

Jace’s story isn’t a happy one, but he is on the road to recovery. He doesn’t always do what’s right and he isn’t what you would call ‘morally sound.’ He holds a secret that not only defines him, but weighs so heavily on his heart that he’s like a walking, talking, ticking time bomb.

Fightology Lesson #5: Anger comes in all forms: a slow burn; relentless, constant flames; or a hot flash, popping here and there. It can lie in wait, and you think you’ve forgiven, you think you’ve doused it with trust, but give it a sudden burst of oxygen and-backdraft.

Pinned down and held back by his secretive past, he feels he can’t truly move on with his life, date the girl he’s falling for, and altogether become who he wants and strives to be. Grasping on and desperately holding to the abysmal hope that his mother will finally break away and join he and Christian (And Mirriam, Christian’s girlfriend whom I ADORED but ran out of time to talk about-their relationship (she and Jace’s) tore me to shreds…I can’t even) in their new private life, miles and miles away from the abusive man they know as their father.

Isn’t it too convenient just to forgive yourself, let yourself off the hook?

Not everyone’s story is a HEA, and I think that’s the harshest reality this book brings to light. We don’t all get to live in a fairy tale and wake up with the perfect man in the perfect life with the perfect family. Everyone has flaws; Some minute, others destructive and abusive and depraved. But that’s the point: Don’t let who you used to be define who you are. Pave your own path and make your own way. Never look back. Never blame others for your mistakes. But most importantly: Family is everything. Don’t let past hurts and mistakes obliterate what could be the most valuable and endearing moments in your life. Jace’s story, whether a happy ending or not (I can’t say, you have to read it to find out), is over: Yet, there are so many untold stories being written as we speak-Decisions being made, excuses spewing left and right, and women (even some men) and children fighting for their lives…Take the time to hear them.

Second chances. Who deserves one of those, anyway?

****************************

Without a doubt one of my favorite realistic fictions…ever. A strong, poignant, and dark voice, this book tells the story of a boy left behind to fend for himself and his mother as they were beaten to within an inch of their life by his father. This is the story of when he finally says enough is enough. It’s not sugar-coated or contrived, but beautifully written and told in a way that makes it impossible to put this masterpiece down….I still am having trouble NOT thinking about it.

I am beyond excited to try and express how much I adored Jace’s journey of finding himself and reconnecting with the brother that left it all behind. Jesus, I am tearing up just sitting here typing this.

SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS FUCKING STORY. AMAZING-from beginning to end.

Review to come-Most definitely. ♥

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BOOK REVIEW: Speechless by Hannah Harrington

January 28, 2016 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

Speechless by Hannah Harrington
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Everyone knows that Chelsea Knot can't keep a secret

Until now. Because the last secret she shared turned her into a social outcast—and nearly got someone killed.

Now Chelsea has taken a vow of silence—to learn to keep her mouth shut, and to stop hurting anyone else. And if she thinks keeping secrets is hard, not speaking up when she's ignored, ridiculed and even attacked is worse.

But there's strength in silence, and in the new friends who are, shockingly, coming her way—people she never noticed before; a boy she might even fall for. If only her new friends can forgive what she's done. If only she can forgive herself.

Running my mouth has hurt enough people already-the least I can do is shut up. Why can’t everyone see I’m doing the world a favor?

There are so many books that I admire and adore, especially when it comes to YA realistic fiction. And while I can’t say they all make lasting marks on my heart, they do get under my skin. I’m starting to read so many in this genre that I am beginning to get pickier, look deeper, see what I crave-It’s not simply, oh, this is realistic fiction, now. It’s-Oh, well, this worked for me here, so let’s find something even better. And that’s exactly where this book landed, for me: I found a niche last year that gripped deep into my soul, and I’ve yet to find many wins for it. My absolute favorite book last year was Some Girls Are by Courtney Summers, and literally nothing has compared since. And while this was a super close second…it just didn’t hold a candle to my wonderfully depraved, over-the-top, and beautiful boy holding favorite of 2015.

I can’t believe this is my life now. Spending lunch in the library. Doing homework. Ahead of time. Homework I cannot even understand. Oh, parabolas, why must your formulas elude me so?

Which isn’t this book’s fault-It was a delightful take on one of my now favorite type of stories ever. But, for me, when the last page turned….I was fine. I didn’t need more, I didn’t wonder what happened next, it was just over for me. And that’s probably due to the fact that this wasn’t as dark as I’d have hoped. And yes, I was told this was lighter on the bullying front, but I do tend to like a little more vigor behind the former-best-friends trope. And all I really got was a mild confrontation or two where feelings were hurt…and not much else.

Maybe some bridges are better left burned.

I expected the girls to be vicious, cruel, unrelenting…and they were, to an extent. But when I was bearing down, expecting dirt and grit and something extra it just…leveled. And that’s the main reason I can’t give this more than four. While the story and boy stole my heart…the depth just wasn’t there for me.

I am trying so hard not to be that person anymore. I am trying to be the kind of person who deserves to be looked at the way Sam is looking at me now, like I’m someone worth caring about, someone worth knowing. I want to prove that the risk he’s taken in reaching out to me isn’t for nothing, but I don’t know how to do that.

Which leads me to Sam-kind, loyal, smart, endearing, and fiercely protective, he, of course, wormed his way into my heart. In the beginning, he wasn’t a huge fan of our MC (I refuse to say Chelsea, it’s odd almost talking in third person without it being funny lol), but he never treated her with anything other than respect. And this is a favorite of mine-When the male doesn’t like the MC because of some past misdeed done to them or someone they love (COUGH SOME GIRLS ARE COUGH MY HEART). He begins to see she’s a good person, she has a good heart…she just can’t shut her mouth to save her life when it comes to gossip.

You can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. You can be the most popular person in school, envied by every girl and wanted by every boy, and still feel completely worthless. The world can be laid at your feet and you can still not know what you want from it.

And that’s my other favorite part about this story-He fell for her mind, her actions, her smile…not her mouth, not pretty words, and not her declarations of how she did no wrong. I feel this put a nice, new twist on something that has been done before, and it made it all the more sweeter when the popular-but nerdy-Sam finally fell for the gossiper trying to set things right after hurting someone.

He faces me, my Nelly dog in his hands. Oh, God. That’s embarrassing.
“I met your friend,” he says. He cups the back of Nelly’s neck and bobs her droopy head up and down. “Arf, arf.”
“I think she likes you.”
“Well, we’ve been bonding.”
I let out a fake gasp. “Uh-oh. Does this mean I have some competition?”
“She’s cute, but I don’t think so. There’s only one girl for me,” he says. His smile is like floodlights, lighting up everything.

^^See, this is why I might have given a five (he’s so cute-it’s always a boy for me, lol) if it wasn’t for the lack of grit!!!^^

So, yeah. Other people did the evil ex-best friends work and there wasn’t as much..hmm..darkness as I’d have liked, but this was a great story that really satisfied my inner worry that I’d never find another book like my beloved SGA from 2015-and it was funny! I loved her voice, she really cracked me up. And while I wish I was a little more satisfied, I was content in the fact that it was fun, sweet, and I met yet another wonderful loyal boy. I’m starting to find all these sweet ‘loyal’ guys lately…and I’m really loving it. It’s fresh, it’s not done correctly very often and I’m going to savor this win streak of sweet boys as long as I can find it. ♥ ♥ ♥

Maybe when it comes down to it, what we’re interested in doesn’t mean so much-it’s who you are that ties people together.

(Inadvertent) Christmas gift from the lovely Jen!! love ya lots! ♥ ♥ ♥

******

Another realistic fiction win. While there was quite a bit left to be to desired (One of my absolute favorite books last year was Some Girls Are, so this had a lot to be compared to), I still found that it was exactly the type of book I love to read. It’s so rare that you find an excellent book centered around the new outcast of a once social queen-At least for me it is-and I ate this shit up. The friends turning against her, the school…it just hit all the right places.

And then, of course, Sam!!! Her knight in shining armor. Seriously. I am in SUCH a win streak. Still waiting on my first realistic fiction five star of the year, though.

Review to come!

View all my reviews

BOOK REVIEW: Love Show by Audrey Bell

January 22, 2016 / Chelsea / 2 Comments

Love Show by Audrey Bell
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Hadley Arrington is the career-driven Editor-in-Chief of her university’s prestigious newspaper. Jack Diamond is a laid back student whose good looks have made things even easier than they need to be. She’s the girl who came out of nowhere and kissed him in the rain. He’s the boy who made her do something crazy.

When the stakes seem too high, they have to decide if they’ll let their love show or if they’ll walk away for good.

“I’m a little bit of a disaster, Hadley.”
“Then, you’re my favorite disaster, Jack.”

Ahhh….now that’s how you write a male lead. Sigh. Yes-It’s official. My first sentence in this review is about the male lead. And, ya know, there’s so much more to the story than him, but I can’t help but say he was my absolute favorite part. I know I tout a lot of men throughout the year, I’m, admittedly, a little shameless. It’s all in fun, though, you know?? It’s fun to imagine these men, whether you’re married or not, come on now, actually existing. They are the literal perfect men we seek in the world, and to see the finest of the fine emerging from certain stories…yeah, it makes me a tad giddy and breathless.

“He did it just fine,” I said.
“No, he definitely did it wrong,” he said. “Which is criminal. I could fix that though.”
“Excuse me?”
He looked at me. “I mean, if I were so lucky as to have the chance to sleep with you, you would be, you know, impressed.”
“You’re extremely arrogant.”
“Right back at you.”
“How am I arrogant?”
“What kind of person gives sex one chance and decides it’s not for them?”
“This kind.”

And this isn’t even my real point-I just ended up going off on a tangent because I got lost in Jack fantasy land. For real…he’s that great. Just let me get to him when it’s his turn, though. I’m working super hard to build him up, a right he wholeheartedly deserves, because not many guys really compare. Again, my point is that this story had so much more than a beautiful book cover (it’s not in print anymore, boo, what the f) pretty faced college boy, and romantic adventure.

It’s funny how quickly you begin to talk yourself out of your own dreams.

That’s the thing I can’t quite put my finger on-Just how deep this story was. I can’t tell if it’s a stroke of brilliance, or a case of shit gone wrong. I’m more than aware I gave this an extremely high rating, but at a certain point in this book it stopped being so….light and fluffy. Jobs took precedent, choices had to be made, friendships were tested, loyalty was as delicate as glass, close to bending and breaking-but tougher than a diamond, grittier than dirt in it’s determination….and hearts were broken. Or should I say heart? Shit became real….and I wasn’t ready for it.

“What? It’s ridiculous. Control your emotions. Can you imagine if criminals went around saying they fell into hatred or jealousy and that’s why they killed four people or robbed the bank? We act like love is this uncontrollable thing. But when it comes to anger and all that ugly stuff, we’re expected to control it. We’re supposed to handle those emotions without hurting anyone. But throw out the word ‘love’ and everyone thinks all the rules should go right out the window and who can help it if someone gets hurt?

I’ll go ahead and admit that this is the first book of the year-and in a long fucking time, I assure you-that made me bawl like a baby. That’s right-2016 is here, bitch, and it’s taking my soul with it. I bet most of you that have read this find that hilarious and highly unbelievable-Well, I’ll tell you this: I was expecting butterflies and rainbows, candy and sunshine….and there was. It was kissing in the rain and spontaneous messaging that encouraged a smile that couldn’t be stifled. It was flirting and supporting each other when things became unbearable. It was friendship and unbreakable bonds and lasting laughs. It was everything love should be, and it was what dreams were made of. And that, my lovely friends, is why I’m tearing up, becoming emotional, and trying to ignore the tightness in my throat even as I type up this review. Their love was something that blinded me from the fire-hot passion they shared…and that’s why I lost it, emotionally speaking…I just couldn’t handle when the fire turned to embers in the ashes.

But enough about the seriousness with which this novel was underhandedly constructed (it took my breath away like a thief in the night, the smug bastard), I want to talk about all the good things-and believe me, there were too many to count (about 90% perfection, for real). I mean, just look at the previous paragraph!! I obviously adored almost every minute of the story…I just had my issues like the next person.

“You’ve Got Mail could only be the name of a romantic comedy in the 90s,” I said. “The only thing I like about my inbox is the delete button.”
David took a handful of popcorn. “You. Need. To. Get. Laid.”
“I need to get a job.” I said. “And a haircut. And new eyes. Have you seen this? My eyes are different sizes.”
He looked at my eyes. “It’s ’cause you’re tired. So, close them. And stop talking. And go to sleep.”

One of my favorite parts I’m going to start with, hold your horses, everyone and their brother knows I will most definitely get to Jack (Jack, don’t let me go, Jack-shout out to Anna lol), is the friendship between David and Hadley. I can’t say the first chapter drew me in like it did everyone else, but once the second chapter hit, I was completely and utterly obsessed-And I hadn’t even met Jack yet. David was the typical clichéd gay best friend…except he wasn’t. I was expecting something often seen in romance books-I’m not complaining about this issue in books, by the way-the best friend being placed in a very important position for the main character in the beginning, but then slowly becoming as important as background music in a crowded bar. But here, this wasn’t the case-David may have swayed a little, every relationship is tested in life and not at all for the same reasons, but in the end he was as sturdy as a rock and never once lost sight of who his best friend was.

Nobody should drink alcohol at eleven in the morning. It’s a recipe for disaster. Nigel was slurring his words by noon and David was trying to cut my hair and I was singing Ke$ha at the top of my lungs.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I demanded when he came at me with scissors.
“You need a haircut.”
“No.”
“Trust me.”
“No.”
He pouted. “But, Hadley, I’m dying to cut somebody’s hair.”
“Cut your own damn hair.”

Their banter was hilarious and much like my favorite duo from The Middle (one of my favorite television shows ever), Sue Heck and Brad. I’m not kidding-from the moment I read one of their interactions, I was laughing out loud (this was a common theme throughout, me barking laughs and giggling like a psycho in a quiet room) and smiling so big that I swear my husband thought something was wrong with me. ’What are you laughing at?’ he asked. ’Nothing, my book,’ I said. *Giggles* *continued staring at me* ‘Nothing. Really’ *still staring at me* ‘YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND, OKAY???’ At this point I think it needs to be declared that I was mostly giggling at Jack and how fucking cute he is. For real. So….yeah, I guess that’s my cue to start heading over that way. But to sum up for these two friends: they cared more deeply about one another than many romantic relationships I know of in real life here, and that is truly saying something…even if its only a book.

“You’re scared that our third conversation will devolve? Into what? Silence? That would be awkward, but I bet we could survive it.”
“I really don’t have the time to date anyone right now,” I said. That sounded believable. It was certainly true.
“Aw, I’m not going to give up that easily,” he smiled. “You’re the one who started it. You shouldn’t have kissed me like that if you wanted to be left alone.”
“I-”
“I’m going to swing by,” he said adamantly. “We can hang out. That’s a good idea. No dinner. Anti-date date.”

Ahhh and finally, my boy JACK!!! I will admit that the ~~crazy alien~~ amazing friend who ~~forced me to read this~~ reccd this to me staked a claim on this wonderful, adorable, loyal, smitten, obsessed, protective, jealous, and loving boy beforehand. In fact, she was quite clear about this such issue because she just knew this problem would arise. You know, where we both want to marry Jack and lock him up for the rest of eternity? (Or maybe that’s just me…oops, here comes your lovable GR psycho!! Come out come out wherever you arrreeee) Yeah, we had lengthy conversations about this boy I’d never even heard of….but I guess I just don’t give a flying fuck.

“I mean, maybe.”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Nothing, but-“
“Great. I’ll swing by tonight.”
“No, I don’t think you understand. I said dinner wasn’t good for me.”
“I thought you said dating wasn’t good for you. We won’t have dinner. It’ll be a non-dinner, non-date hangout session.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“I just want to talk to you,” he said casually.
“Why?”
He laughed.
“What?”
“I think you’re fascinating,” he said, the same wry amusement coursing through his voice. “I’ll stop by tonight.” He hung up before I could say anything else.

Jack is, and always will be, a definite top book boy for me, and if anyone has a problem with that (cough, ahem, Bananaaaaaaaaa), then I guess they’ll just have to go through me, won’t they??? Have you seen my list? Could it be any more huge??? (bahahah Friends references, oh boy, I am getting TIRED)

“What are you doing next year?” I asked Jack.
“I’m going to try to find a way not to work,” Jack said. “Which I’m actually pretty good at, so I don’t foresee any problems.”
“Nice.”
“Good plan,” Xander said sarcastically.
“I think it’s a great plan,” Jack said simply. “They always tell you to do what you love. And I love not working.”

But let’s cut to the GD chase-When I met Jack, in the rain, out of nowhere, completely blind-sided…my breath was stolen in the span of less than 10 seconds. I’d venture to say I was beyond completely and utterly obsessed-I was a fucking ravenous madwoman. He became an instant book boyfriend and I ached to see him even when he couldn’t possibly be a part of the story. And then, as if by magic, he’d appear again-laughing, smiling, ogling, fantasizing, and falling in love with Hadley a little bit more each and every time he saw her. I swear to God, you could literally, literally feeling him falling harder and harder with each passing chapter.

And it’s just…it’s so much more than that, and it’s so hard to explain. This kid, this boy that has no clue what he wants to do with his life, finds a girl that is opposite of him in each and every way, career wise, life-choice wise, and he just…he falls. Hard.

He falls and he doesn’t brace himself and he crashes, he crashes so hard into this sea of emotions he wasn’t prepared for and fights drowning at each and every turn. But resistance is futile, because he drowns anyway.

“I was ready to go. But you were all like stay,” he whispered in a breathy imitation of me.
I laughed. “I was not.”
“It was like when the Titanic was sinking and the redhead was all like, oh my god, I’m so cold, let’s hold hands.”
“It was not like that.”
“Jack, never let go. I mean, what was I supposed to do?”

But for each breach of surface from the sea of Hadley, he finds a breath of life that makes him feel whole, makes him believe things can be different, that the rules are meant to be broken and one day she’ll realize she loves him as much as he loves her…

but time and again she pushes him back under, only for him to keep kicking and pushing to the surface once again for that next chance of everlasting life in the form of Hadley fucking Arrington-his most suffocating and deadly weakness.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes. In my own bed.” I kissed him briefly and he reached for my wrist. I held the book he’d given me in one hand and looked into his brown eyes. And I leaned in for another kiss.
I loved the way he kissed me. But this felt more serious, deeper and longer, and we held each other’s eyes for a long moment before I cleared my throat and felt a flush rushing to my face.

Jack was the most loyal guy ever, and I’m not just saying that. Lots of guys are loyal-tons. But in this sense, I have to say it’s rare. Its rare that a guy as attractive, kind, and popular as Jack would wait for a girl who only wants to play the friends with benefits card. And I really did like Hadley from chapter two on-she is a fucking badass chick who would do anything for the people she loves. But that’s my thing: as soon as she needed to do something for the person who would literally die for her-even went so far as to imply he’d give his kidney for her (yes, dramatics on my part, I know, but it makes it no less true)-she just couldn’t fucking do it.

And that’s when I kind of lost my undying (apparently it’s not so undying, because, hey, look, it’s dead) love for her. And to clarify, because I see a French frown forming-View Spoiler ». And to also clarify in a non-spoilery manner-He could have done a little more, too. Duh. But Jack’s perfect….so…..no. He did no wrong. Obviously.

“Are you seriously hurt?”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“My knees went out.”
“I made you weak at the knees?”
“I’m serious. It hurts,” I growled.
“Alright, alright, alright,” he said. “Hey!” He shouted to one of the instructors. “She hurt her leg. Can you…” They started running over and he looked back down at me. “Babe, can you stand up?”
This is supposed to be my section on Hadley…but I am a stubborn ass and don’t feel like wasting any more time on her. She’s top dog of the newspaper. She wants to do combat journalism. Her dream job is to work for the NYT. Yada yada. Smart smart. Fierce Fierce. We get it. Later douche.

Anyone who tells you that you should wait for that guy who makes you weak at the knees should be shot.

And there you go. That’s it. Lordy Lordy I could keep going on and boy was that a lot, but some things just need to be said, and Jack deserves every minute of my time. Did you guys know, so conversational I am at this wonderfully late hour on a work night, that I had NO time for a review??? That I should have posted a mini review and said, eh, it’s okay, I know I loved it and that’s all that matters. But no. It was 10 pm when I picked this bad boy up and I sucked it the hell up when hubs started whining because he wanted to hang and when the dogs wanted to cuddle and snuggle (such heinous crimes, the lot of them, whatever am I supposed to do with them??). I did those things while I typed this out (Why yes, I did type a lot of this one-handed, and yes, it was a fucking treat). Jack deserved so much more than he got at one point in this book, and he deserves a long-winded Chelsea review that freaks everyone out as it always does. He is my first BBF of the year and I will send him off right-even at the cost of my own sleep. This was going to be an absolute favorite-hell, it still might be-but when certain things transpired and ripped my heart to shreds, it made it hard to reconcile my turbulent feelings and emotions (which were like a tidal wave, thank you). I’d like to say I’ll get over it completely-I really mostly have-but it did leave a sour taste in my mouth and I think the HEA could have been more epic. But who am I to say??? This book was fucking amazing, and if something had been changed, maybe it would have altered the course of events for the worst and made this a POS novel. Everything happens for a reason and I’m willing to believe that this book will be read by me on numerous occasions to lift my mood and give me the best BBF ever (aka JACCKKKKK) fix. Now I’ll go on my merry way and try to forget the boy (Jack! Don’t let go….Don’t let go, Jack) who gave me instant butterflies the moment I met him (this NEVER happens…SO RARE!!!!!!) and became and instant win. God the fucking feels. They hurt. I love him. Okay. For real. Bye. JACK!!!