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BOOK REVIEW: Please Remain Calm (This is Not a Test #2) by Courtney Summers

BOOK REVIEW: Please Remain Calm (This is Not a Test #2) by Courtney SummersPlease Remain Calm (This is Not a Test #2)
by Courtney Summers
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

In this gripping sequel to THIS IS NOT A TEST, Rhys and Sloane are headed for a safe haven when they get separated along the way. Rhys is determined to reunite with Sloane until he discovers people who might need him more--people who offer him the closest he'll get to everything he's lost, if they can just hold on long enough.

Rhys thinks he has what it takes to survive and find the girl he lost, but in a world overrun by the dead, there are no guarantees and the next leg of his journey will test him in unimaginable ways ...

There’s not much to say that hasn’t already been said in my review for This is Not a Test. But I do think there were some small differences that clearly showed a distinction between the two, so it deserves it’s own review. For instance, if you thought the first book was heartbreaking, you’re in for a whole new world of hurt. And if you thought you saw quite a few zombies before?? Think again.
People aren’t supposed to be able to fathom eternity. It’s an amount of time beyond all human comprehension. But ever since everything ended, I think I’m getting closer to understanding it. These little tastes of it in the way hell stretches around us, making pain endless and moments like this one rare and fleeting.
Making moments like this one everything.

This novella takes place right where we left off in book one. Rhys and Sloane are traveling to the ‘safe house’ because they can’t stay in the school forever….but by leaving the safety of the school, they are putting themselves in grave danger, because each city they come across is even more infested than the last.

“I have to piss,” I mutter.
It takes her a minute and for that minute, my face burns and it all seems too goddamn stupid to be embarrassed about, but it’s what I’m not saying that’s making it uncomfortable. I have to go to the bathroom and I don’t want to die and then come back with my dick out, so…

It’s no secret I was obsessed with Rhys in the last book, so I was ecstatic to see that this novella was in Rhys’s POV. I don’t normally love when authors make the second, or even the third, books in the male POV after being in the heroine’s head because I feel there is always a disconnect and a lack of characterization because the author can’t quite seem to capture both the male and female truthfully anymore. I think it’s because they are trying so hard to give us ladies an insight into the male’s head we so love and adore, but more often than not, they fail. So, I was very excited to see that, in true Courtney Summers fashion, she didn’t let this happen. Her writing was exactly the same and fifty times scarier.

This book, just as I said a second ago, was 50 times freakier to me than TINAT. Don’t think for a second the first wasn’t scary, but being out amid the zombies causes a whole new kind of panic attack moments that I couldn’t help but to lose my breath over time and again. It was very raw and heartbreaking, causing me to cry more than once-and this novella was, like, only 100 pages. I was shocked. But it’s truly not all that surprising, if you think about it-Courtney Summers has a way of getting under your skin and bringing out your worst and deepest fears and making them reality. So, naturally, when she does the thing that no one thinks she could possibly do to us…she does it. That’s my only warning to you. Don’t for a second think this novella, or world, is fluffy because Rhys and Sloane are into each other. It’s not.

Times like these, you go so far out of your way to assure yourself you’re not alone. You memorize the person you’re with: the way they breathe, the way they move, the warmth of their body. All these things, you reach for every second of the day and when they’re gone, you don’t even have to open your eyes to know it.

So, I can’t believe this is as long as it is, but I think I got my point across without being excessive. This novella is wonderful and essential to this series. So, if you have an hour, give this one a try. You’ll most likely really enjoy it if you loved the first.

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AGH SO GOOD AND SO HORRIBLE !!!!! Rhys you are so loyal, ugh ❤️

Review to come :))))

BOOK REVIEW: Cracked Up to Be by Courtney Summers

BOOK REVIEW: Cracked Up to Be by Courtney SummersCracked Up to Be by Courtney Summers
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Book Depository
Add to: Goodreads
Synopsis:

When "Perfect" Parker Fadley starts drinking at school and failing her classes, all of St. Peter's High goes on alert. How has the cheerleading captain, girlfriend of the most popular guy in school, consummate teacher's pet, and future valedictorian fallen so far from grace?

Parker doesn't want to talk about it. She'd just like to be left alone, to disappear, to be ignored. But her parents have placed her on suicide watch and her conselors are demanding the truth. Worse, there's a nice guy falling in love with her and he's making her feel things again when she'd really rather not be feeling anything at all.

Nobody would have guessed she'd turn out like this. But nobody knows the truth.

Something horrible has happened, and it just might be her fault.

*I Don’t Know How Many Stars*
Guys. I am so lost for words. This book made me feel things I just can’t even…can’t even. I liked it and I hated it. I loved it but wanted to punch it. I was obsessed with it and I wasn’t obsessed with it. I couldn’t put it down but when I did I felt a little bit lighter. I don’t even know what to say, so how should I understand how to rate it?

Jake should know-well, everyone should know-there’s no such thing as a decent human being. It’s just an illusion.
And when it’s gone, it’s really gone.

I rate based on how I feel….and I just don’t know what I feel. I keep (in my head) going from a 4 to a 3 to a 2 to a 3.5 to a 4. Because, like with all Courtney Summers novels, I felt ALL emotions…but they were different this time. I felt them more intensely. And not necessarily in a good way. One minute I was happy, the next I was sad and aching for more and I just wasn’t able to put a pin on what exactly worked for me. And, in the end, I wanted more for this horribly fucked up character and I don’t know I don’t know I don’t knooooow. I just still can’t express how I feel.

I get caught up in outcomes. I convince myself they’re truths. No one will notice how wrong you are if everything you do ends up right. The rest becomes incidental. So incidental that, after a while, you forget. Maybe you are perfect. Good. It must be true. Who can argue with results? You’re not so wrong after all. So you buy into it and you go crazy maintaining it. Except it creeps up on you sometimes, that you’re not right. Imperfect. Bad. So you snap your fingers and it goes away.
Until something you can’t ignore happens and you see it all over yourself.

I felt like I was underneath a microscope. I felt as if my brain was pried open like a gaping wound for everyone to see, because I just couldn’t put a mask on my displeasure or my happiness or my crying and it was like this raw, ripping open of my soul because poor Parker. Poor, poor Parker. I couldn’t stand how she treated Jake but I understood it. I hated when she pushed him away or made him think she felt less about him than she really did….because that’s what she wanted. She wanted people to hate her, she wanted to fade into the background. And it just hurt me so deeply when she would push people away….because ‘that’s how it had to be.’

I lean against the door. I should be sitting so we can have our weekly session where I pick the lint off my skirt and determinedly maintain my silence while she stares at me, except today I have to break that silence. And all for a boy, too. How degrading.

This book was a lot like Unteachable for me. I gave that book a 4 even though it depressed me 90% of the time because despite all that…I couldn’t put it down, ya know? What does that say?

The writing. Wow, the writing. It always transports me to another world and I adore this author and I guess I should know a star rating but I can’t put a finger on what feels right…and that’s how I always choose. It just feels right when I think of a rating. When I click a star, I release all this built up energy because everything falls into place and fits so perfectly with my review. But when I think of clicking a star here, nothing fits. Not for this story.

“See you tomorrow,” I call after her.
She stops, turns and gives me a hilariously quizzical look.
It could be worth it for this alone.
“What?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. For the semi-formal? You, me, Chris and Jake.” I force a big smile at her. “I’m really looking forward to it.”
I’m such a bitch, but Becky makes it so easy.

So…this wasn’t a review. And I don’t really care if anyone reads it or doesn’t read it because I can’t give people an honest answer. I loved a lot of parts. But I also hated a lot of parts, as well. I suppose I could break it down a little for you guys, just as an end note?

Loved:

-Jake
-Writing
-Story/plot in general
-The Humor
-Parker’s snark towards everyone, it made me laugh a lot (She’s such a bitch)

Liked:

-Parker
-How she put her walls up
-Her family
-The mystery behind why she is the way she is

Didn’t love at all:

-Animal (That’s all I’ll say on that matter)
-Becky. Annoying bitch
-The conclusion. I really really really wanted more, but I understood it, as well
-How Jake was treated (It was sometimes funny, but other times it broke my heart)

So. You know. There you go.

BOOK REVIEW: Some Girls Are by Courtney Summers

BOOK REVIEW: Some Girls Are by Courtney SummersSome Girls Are by Courtney Summers
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Book Depository
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

Climbing to the top of the social ladder is hard—falling from it is even harder. Regina Afton used to be a member of the Fearsome Fivesome, an all-girl clique both feared and revered by the students at Hallowell High... until vicious rumors about her and her best friend's boyfriend start going around. Now Regina's been "frozen out" and her ex-best friends are out for revenge. If Regina was guilty, it would be one thing, but the rumors are far from the terrifying truth and the bullying is getting more intense by the day. She takes solace in the company of Michael Hayden, a misfit with a tragic past who she herself used to bully. Friendship doesn't come easily for these onetime enemies, and as Regina works hard to make amends for her past, she realizes Michael could be more than just a friend... if threats from the Fearsome Foursome don't break them both first.

Tensions grow and the abuse worsens as the final days of senior year march toward an explosive conclusion in this dark new tale from the author of Cracked Up To Be.

My heartbeat slows to nothing and then, when I’m sure I’m dead, it thumps once. Twice. Three times. Steady and even. I’m still here. I get to ten beats and then it beats faster-twenty, faster, thirty, faster, forty. Do something do something do something.

Explosive.
Mind-blowing.
Intense.
Evil.
Awesome.

Just…..just. Wow. And, ya know, I had never even read a book by this author two weeks ago and now I like…worship her. Every word has gravity to it. Every sentence is a slap in the face. Each page is more shocking than the last. And it’s all so damn simple. There’s no grand use of metaphors shoved down our throats and there aren’t poetic verses on every other page….no. It’s all about the build-up. She builds these simple, every day moments and builds and builds and builds and then all of a sudden you can’t breathe and you’re frantically reading the pages trying to see what happens next and then Boom. It’s so fucking simple. But that’s Courtney Summers, I’ve come to find: She’s the silent killer.

He’s as bad as me, and Kara’s as bad as me, and I’m as bad as Anna, who killed all the things that were good about me before they got the chance to do any good.

I was so excited to write this review and now I’m at a loss for words. How in the world can I do this book justice? It’s not like we’ve never seen the mean girl act before-petty lies, jealousies, fights, and, ultimately, a big misunderstanding. But this is so different. And it doesn’t seem like it should be, ya know? We’re in this girl’s head, Regina’s, and she used to be best friend to the queen bee. What an honor. But then one fateful night at a party, best friend Anna’s scumbag boyfriend decides he wants to get handsy with Regina-violently handsy. I am going to rape you if you don’t say yes, handsy. So when a narrowly avoided escape from a tragic event becomes a vicious, nasty rumor gone wrong, Regina finds herself on the outside of the fearsome five….and their newest target.

We’re the kind of popular that parents like to pretend doesn’t exist so they can sleep at night, and we’re the kind of popular that makes our peers unable to sleep at night.

Think about this a moment, will you? Top of the food chain. Four years of torturing those less than you, those that are afraid of you when you pass them in the halls…and then reverse that completely. All of a sudden you’re afraid to turn the wrong corner and see the wrong people. Every time you turn around you’re getting pushed down the stairs, locked in closets, your things are getting ruined repeatedly-and you never know when the prank will go too far and you won’t be able to recover from it.

When I’m done, I feel empty, but only for a second. Because I get it; I do. I get why Anna was my best friend. Why I couldn’t be friends with Liz and why I couldn’t save her and why I couldn’t eat. Why Kara hates me. Why Michael can’t be around me. Kara lost the weight. It didn’t matter. Same school, same teachers, same classmates, same friends. No chance.

I absolutely ADORED this story. It was SO fun to be on the other side of the token, to be on the inside of a former mean girl’s head. We got to see the vicious side of wanting cold, calculated revenge. She isn’t some girl they are just now deciding to start hazing, she was actually a part of that group-so she knows all the tricks….and she isn’t afraid to use them when they shove too hard. And this is what I loved so much: She wasn’t afraid to be a bitch. She wasn’t afraid to fight dirty. And I wanted her to. I wanted to see her scrape and claw and rip their hair out. I became immediately engrossed and invigorated when she would ‘push back’ and show those bitches what she’s really made of….she’s no delicate flower-that’s for certain. I don’t know what that says about me, either.

In high school, you don’t get to change. You only get to walk variations of the same lines everyone has already drawn for you.
So I should just make the best of it.

I think my favorite part of this story, though, was Michael. Everything to do with Michael, I was a mess. Not only because he was a sudden love interest, though I loved that as well, but because of how the mighty had fallen. Michael-the new kid from years ago who’s reputation she ruined. Michael-the loner who doesn’t care what people think of him. Micheal-the kid who is now an outcast and sits alone at lunch in the back of the cafeteria. Michael…the only friend she might have.

And I think that’s what made this such a finely layered story. Regina was so mean to others because Anna TOLD her to be, and now that she’s on the outside looking in, she has no one to turn to. It was so beyond fascinating to be inside her head and to see how she handled being invisible to everyone socially and to be on the receiving end of vicious rumors and threats. I loved seeing her progression from indifference to fighting back to utter obsession over what’s being said and how she can exact revenge on anyone and everyone that wrongs her. But, even more than that, I loved seeing that vulnerable girl who was sensitive and just wanted a friend.

Hell, I loved Michael. Big shocker there-Summers creates the coolest guys. And Michael didn’t make it easy. I loved that, too. Some days he didn’t even let her sit at the table. But here’s the kicker-he was always there for her. He was a silent defender and friend when she was humiliated or hurt in front of the whole school, he showed up when she needed him most….but he couldn’t fully give himself to her. She was cruel, vindictive, and judgemental without even knowing him, so he wasn’t about to fall for her act just because she was lonely…but what if it wasn’t an act at all? What if she really and truly enjoyed his company? And, worst of all, what would she do when her sudden interest in him explodes in colorful fireworks on the fearsome five’s radar? What would she do to protect him? It nearly tore my heart out of my chest.

Some people will never give up on their lack of belief in you. I’m used to that feeling, but for the first time ever, it hurts.

Lastly, I have to say this: This book was so epic that I. Never. Once. Checked. To see what percentage I was at. NEVER. It was so engrossing, addicting, and mind-boggling that I didn’t even think while I read! I always check because I’m always ready for the next book I’m going to read. But not this one-My mind was fully immersed in the story and nothing else mattered. I loved our main character so much it was a visceral, deep feeling and her life became my life and….well, you get the picture.

Venomous, tortuous, and pulse-pounding, this subtle book sneaks up on you and sinks it’s claws into your soul. I swear, if you pick this up, you won’t be putting it down any time soon-I started it at lunch on Sunday, just wanting to get a sneak peek, and I was HOOKED. Dinner plans??? Lets rush ’em, because this book was all I could think about. The Oscars? Who needs ’em!! I am READING AN EXCELLENT BOOK that has taken over my body. I don’t know why I’d never read anything by Courtney Summers before, but after This is Not a Test and now this one, I will forever be a fan. I can’t get enough and I will shove her books in other people’s faces like a deranged drug pusher from now until the end of time-I’ve succeeded with a few of my friends….now onto the rest of them.

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5 brutal, menacing, tortuous, evil-little-bitch stars

Seriously. I AM SO STOKED AND EXCITED TO WRITE THIS REVIEW IT ROOOOOOOOCKSSS!!! ♥

(Review tomorrow!!!)

BOOK REVIEW: This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test #1) by Courtney Summers

BOOK REVIEW: This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test #1) by Courtney SummersThis is Not a Test (This is Not a Test #1)
by Courtney Summers
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Book Depository
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

It’s the end of the world. Six students have taken cover in Cortege High but shelter is little comfort when the dead outside won’t stop pounding on the doors. One bite is all it takes to kill a person and bring them back as a monstrous version of their former self. To Sloane Price, that doesn’t sound so bad. Six months ago, her world collapsed and since then, she’s failed to find a reason to keep going. Now seems like the perfect time to give up. As Sloane eagerly waits for the barricades to fall, she’s forced to witness the apocalypse through the eyes of five people who actually want to live. But as the days crawl by, the motivations for survival change in startling ways and soon the group’s fate is determined less and less by what’s happening outside and more and more by the unpredictable and violent bids for life—and death—inside. When everything is gone, what do you hold on to?

I am so sad.
I am so sad it makes me heavier than the sum of my parts. I shift, restless, but it doesn’t help. It’s like-time. All this time in here is on me, has its hooks in me. Maybe if I sleep more, I’ll wake up and I’ll feel different, but I can’t. The storm is really happening now and it makes the room feel emptier. Makes me feel emptier.

Okay, okay so…..I had some SERIOUS doubts on this one. Not because I don’t trust my wonderful Alien friend (Anna), and not because I don’t love dystopian anymore. No, I had doubts because I haven’t read a dystopian in what feels like forever-hell, I can’t even name the last one I read because I don’t remember. This is my favorite genre and I haven’t read one in what feels like an eternity. But facts are facts: Excellent dystopians are rare. There is only so much disappointment a person can take, and when you continually see fail after fail, you begin to hold out for that one special book that will make you fall head over heels in love with the genre that stole your heart before. This is that book. This is the book that had me reading at every opportunity, even at the expense of not eating. This is the book that felt so real, so dark, that it touched me on a visceral level. No fluff. No excuses. No one safe. That…is the definition of an excellent dystopian.

My body wants to stop.
Thud. I end up on my knees. I’m dripping with sweat and my stomach is churning and the sound I heard was not the sound of myself falling and landing but-thud.
I turn my head to the exit.
Thud.

I fear I won’t be able to say enough to express how wonderful and refreshing this story was. And I never would have guessed, either. Zombies? Pass. But a story that instills the fear of them watching you, waiting for you, wanting to eat you…without actually seeing them every five pages? Mother, may I? For real. This was everything I didn’t hope for and more. That’s right-I had ZERO expectations going in and figured this one wouldn’t be for me. After all, I’m just so damn picky about my favorite genres. When that first thud. Thud. THUD. happened I about lost my shit-they were practically tearing down the doors…but we didn’t have to see them. Their shelter was surrounded, but we didn’t see the grotesque assholes in the windows or clawing all over our not-so-perfect cast of characters. No….Summers just placed a pin in that fear. She made you fear the moment that one would get in. She made you ponder if that school was closed up tight enough. She placed a little nugget of doubt about the morality of the main characters. After all, a scorned human being is more dangerous than any loaded gun, right?

The world breaks into a million pieces and comes back together just as quickly but it comes back together wrong. The picture is wrong. Upside down, awful.

And this leads me to our deplorable cast of survivors characters. What do you get when you are stuck in an abandoned school with a brother and sister who are devastated by a tragic turn of events, the person they blame, a boy who cries about anything and would switch loyalties in a minute, a girl who’s circumstances have pushed her to feel as if she doesn’t want to fight anymore, and a boy who’s….well….ummm perfect?! Okay, the last one is a lie but I LOVED him. So, what do you get? A huge MESS is what you get. Bare trust, pencil thin alliances, explosive fights, and a whole lot of hormones.

I pull at a strand of my hair. I want to rip it out. I want to climb onto the roof and throw myself off it. I want to bash my head against the mirror until it breaks.

Sloane was our main character. She lived alone with her father after her sister abandoned left, and he has became even more abusive than before-and it was all centered on her. When her sister left her, she lost the will to live, the need to fight, the gumption to go on. But after the zombie virus begins, she stumbles across ‘friends’ from school who grab her and bring her with them in their mad dash to survive. This went against all her plans to just lay down and let the zombies have her. This went against her suicide plan. This went against everything she had planned….and so did he.

I turn my face away from him. He’s right. Who cares. Maybe I’m infected. I try to listen to what’s happening inside me. If there’s any part of me that’s dying and becoming more rotten but more purposeful than what I am now.

Aghhhhh Rhys! I LOVE YOU! And, ya know, there wasn’t anything particularly special about him. He’s just an average boy who gets as scared as anyone else. But there are these moments where he shows immense protectiveness for Sloane. These shining moments where he singles her out and takes care of her more than others. These beautiful, wonderful, amazing moments where he begs her to just live…and stay with him.

We’ll make movies about it, hundreds of movies, and in every one of them, we’ll be the heroes and the love interests and best friends and winners and we’ll watch these movies until we are so far removed from our own history, we’ll forget how it really felt to be here.

Now, I am TOTALLY going to step on Anna’s toes and steal some of her words-because she said it best. I think the reason I loved this book so much was because of the characters. They were all so real. Their reactions, their emotions, their ANGER. It resonated deep within me and I felt their turmoil deep inside. I’d blame. I’d shout. I’d cry a ton. I’m a Grade A wuss! They were mean, sometimes cruel, and they forgave no one. This…this is the reality of the nasty world we live in. People won’t forgive just because you’re sorry. Sorry doesn’t fucking cut it when lives are at stake. And the truth of the matter is, their reactions were candid. No faking, lots of un-truths, and quite a few betrayals. The sad thing about me? I kind of loved the one who might or might not have cost some lives. Sue me.

He tries again. “If you’re staying, I want you to stay with me.” I want so badly to ask him why, why he thinks he needs me, but he continues. “If you’re not staying…if you’re going to go through with it, wait until we’re out of your way. I couldn’t stand to see it.”
“Okay,” I say.
“I really hope I don’t see it, Sloane,” he says softly. “I really hope you wake up.”
He hesitates and then he brings his hand to the crook of my elbow. He presses his lips against the side of my mouth and my heart recoils because for all its gentleness, it hurts.

Okay so I’ll wrap this up, because guess what?? I’m leaving because it’s snowing like crazy!! I could say a million more things, but I think the truth is in the words-the writing speaks for itself. It’s raw. It’s gritty. Not everyone makes it. And it’s a harsh, cruel reality. I wish I could go on and on and on and on….but there is only so much I can say before I start to give things away. If you aren’t sure about dystopians, if you don’t like zombies but are willing to give them another shot, if you’re on the fence at all, about anything to do with this story, read it. It’s amazing. And I am so damn glad I decided to read it. That just goes to show that there is still a chance to make these novels amazing. They can still be harsh and have a little romance and still be amazingly blunt and well-written. I cannot wait to read the novella….I hope it is equally amazing as this book, but if it’s only a fraction as good, I’ll still die happy.

BOOK REVIEW: This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test #1) by Courtney Summers

BOOK REVIEW: This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test #1) by Courtney SummersThis is not a test (This is not a test #1)
by Courtney Summers
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Book Depository
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

It’s the end of the world. Six students have taken cover in Cortege High but shelter is little comfort when the dead outside won’t stop pounding on the doors. One bite is all it takes to kill a person and bring them back as a monstrous version of their former self. To Sloane Price, that doesn’t sound so bad. Six months ago, her world collapsed and since then, she’s failed to find a reason to keep going. Now seems like the perfect time to give up. As Sloane eagerly waits for the barricades to fall, she’s forced to witness the apocalypse through the eyes of five people who actually want to live. But as the days crawl by, the motivations for survival change in startling ways and soon the group’s fate is determined less and less by what’s happening outside and more and more by the unpredictable and violent bids for life—and death—inside. When everything is gone, what do you hold on to?

This is not a book about zombies, this is a book with zombies.

And I’m so okay with that. I mean, to be frank, I’m not into zombies. Like, at all. Usually, they never manage to :
a) Scare me
b) Interest me

That’s just gross to me. Therefore I end bored more often than not, except if I take it as a parody, changing myself into this annoying buddy who can’t help but laugh at awkward moments. If it wasn’t for all the reviews I read which pointed that it wasn’t really a zombie horror book, I’d probably never have given it a chance. That’s why I’m pointing it too : If you’re expecting a classic horror story, you’ll be disappointed.

This is not a book where the zombies scare you, this is a book where the characters make you think.

Now, you know I’m a huge fan girl when it comes to Marchetta, especially because I can’t help but fall in love with every single character she brings to life. In this book, Courtney Summers manages to create flawed characters I adore. Though it was anything but self-evident at first, because I have a thing : I don’t usually love depressive characters. Yeah, you got it, the key word here is usually. Indeed Sloane is all kind of depressing – she actually wants to die – and yet she managed to move me like crazy. How did she do this? How? I’m not sure I can’t even explain.

“We’ll become reanimated corpses navigating a sorry imitation of our glory days and this is why I don’t understand the point in going on, why it’s so wrong to give up. There’s nothing left.”

There’s something so desperate in her way to handle all the crazy stuff that happens constantly and yet she’s never ever whining. Not a single time – I often found myself in awe of her perseverance, as I think there’s some braveness to show such motivation, even if it’s to die at some point. Did I find it stupid? Of course I did. I have a thing against suicide, I can’t deny it, that’s totally personal and I can’t help it – it often obscures my judgment about characters like her, because not only suicide makes me sad, but it piss me off. But Sloane won me. Completely. I took her with all her flaws and wanted just one thing : to read about her.

➸ Look, I’m not saying she’s going to die. In fact, I’m not saying anything – she’s a believable character you know, so she can evolve. Or not. Yep, I’m totally a tease.

This is not a book about battles, this is a book about survival and all we’re ready to do to survive.

because…

This is not a book filled with teenage angst, this is a book about the inherent injustice of life.

What do you think you’d be willing to do to survive? As I already said in my review of The Ask and the Answer, the only honest answer I can give you is I don’t know. Sure, I could convince myself that I wouldn’t be selfish and would always do the right thing but we have to know what this right thing is to begin with. Is it saving your parents? Saving your love? Saving yourself? Saving the human race? Tell me when you find your answer because I’m not sure I’ll succeed in.

“It was so easy,” he said. “Just physically … doing that. When it was over, I thought … people … we aren’t made of anything. That’s how easy it was.”

Each character has his choices to make, and what can I say? That’s real, that’s painful, that made me feel : I can’t not love it.

This is not a book you’ll spend days to read, this is a book you’re going to eat in one sitting.

Surely you know the feeling : you’re reading a book, sure that you’ve reached 50%, and you’re stunned to realize that in fact you’re at, like, 15%. This book brings the exact opposite of that feeling. Although the writing can appear pretty confusing in the beginning, I was hooked from page one and this feeling never ended until the end. Indeed Courtney Summers’s writing contains particularities that I never fail to love when I’m lucky to find it : short and sharp sentences, well-done repetitions – her style completely serves the plot as it helps grandly to express the growing tension the characters feel.

This is not a review, this is … well, if this is not a review, I have no idea what the fuck it is.

PS : I thought I wasn’t scared and in the end, it seems that the sensation of being threatened grew on me without realizing it. Yes, I totally freaked out when I got out to let my dog pee. Poor me.

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