Hey guys! Welcome to the Wonderful World of European Blogging on American Plateforms ™ or should I say the Wonderful World of Blogging About English Books in a Non-English Country™. You’ll love it. I swear.
More seriously, I shouldn’t feel obligated to say it, but as I’m well-aware of the Rude™ label many people put on the French shoulders (not entirely undeserved, but this is another story for another day), I’ll start by renewing my faith in (wow, creepy) reminding everyone that I love blogging about books and talking with book lovers from all around the world – no matter how much some little things annoy me.
I’ll talk about these little things today.
TRIGGER WARNING : Any resemblance to a whiny person is completely intentional.
While editing a post on your blog, you’ve noticed that something wasn’t quite right : either the pictures won’t load, or your …. Alright, those of you who run a blog know that it could be anything, really. Anyway. So what tips did you learn at school for when you’re stuck on something? No, not asking the teacher, the other thing that made her breathe easily : you ask a friend, of course! Team work and all that jazz. The thing is, when you’re running a blog about English books, your co-bloggers most likely live thousands of miles away. Hours away.
10 AM in Paris = 4 AM in Indiana = 1 AM in Nevada.
Well, I’m not a jerk who feels entitled to get an answer in the middle of the night, SO. I’ll have to wait (and probably find the answer alone, so spamming the blog thread with my questions then answers then never mind, I found it! texts).
Let’s say that I want to read Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta during my vacations. Where do I start? Bookstores, of course. Unfortunately, after 1 hour of thoroughly searching for English books in my bookstore (in any bookstore except if you live in Paris/are fucking lucky/want to read Shakespeare or Steinbeck), I had to face the facts : French bookstores don’t sell English books, and when they do, they’ll most likely be classics.
So of course I thought, hey! Amazon is your friend! (well *coughs* except if you take the fact that they don’t pay any taxes in your country into account *coughs* who cares if they’re the best at disloyal deals *coughs* taxes and good employment conditions are overrated anyway right? *suffocates*)
“European country” is such a weird concept anyway. Let’s confuse them, because really, who the fuck cares.
Yep, that’s right. Your favorite authors won’t fly to you, and most publishers won’t consider you because…. rights are a bitch. But moving on.
Don’t you hate it when you’ve done everything you had to do to enter a giveaway, only to realize that the US ONLY tag didn’t mean “us, the book lovers” but more “US, you just wasted your time”? Because I do. EUROPE ONLY is such a rare tag that I’ve decided to run my own giveaway and offer you not one, but two of my favorite novels on paperback, The Raven Boys and The Dream Thieves (RONAN! Ronan is life) by Maggie Stiefvater and a signed postcard. Good luck!
But fear no more! Living in a Non English speaking country when reviewing is not so bleak. Indeed you can learn wonderful skills thanks to it!
1) You ROCK at devises change : what, now you know that 10$ means “a little less than 10€, I’d say 9€ but really I’m not sure,where is the paypal change widget when you need it”. Wonderful. Just wonderful. (Alright. It’s 9,16896 €. You’re welcome.)
2) When you’re texting your real life friends, you frequently use LMAO even though they don’t know what it means. Fuck! (← they always know what that means) Anyway, you’re twice as likely to confuse the hell out of your friends and coworkers. Isn’t it awesome? Here’s some French abbreviations for you if you want to … Well, I’m not sure why you would want them, but oh well.
mdr = Literally, “dead by laughing”, because we’re fun like that.
tkt = Literally, “you worry”, buuuuut it means the opposite : “don’t worry”
pk/pq/pkoi = Whyyyyyyyy do French can’t bloody agree on anything? (It’s “why”)
stp = “please” when talking to a friend (otherwise, for your boss, it will be svp)
dsl = sorry for being a jerk (okay, just “sorry”)
VDM = (my personal favorite) You know when you’re late for work, shoved by an asshole who doesn’t even apologize and you ruin your clothes by spreading coffee all over them? Well, it’s VDM. Literally, “FML”.
3) You regularly pause while speaking French to wonder how the fuck do we say that word in…. French. Yikes.
… but when you have wonderful friends on the other side of the Atlantic, not sleeping at night does not look so horrible <3
So, tell me : can you recognize yourself in some of these situations, or am I really a whiny bitch*? Answer in comments!
* I’m not sure I really want to know if that’s the case, mdr (← HA!)
Giveaway background and bird images from Vecteezy.
I SOOOO agree. I’m from Poland and I know all the feels. 🙂 I would add the “I’m not sure if I’m using proper English” syndrome on the list. Sometimes publishing a review on Goodreads scares the shit out of me, hah. I don’t really like people laughing out my grammar, you know. Also: YAY for Europe-only giveaway! <3
Thank you for commenting!!! OMG, HOW COULD I FORGET THIS ONE? You’re SO right. The worst is, there are some sentences that I’ve been using for MONTHS before I realize that… it didn’t really mean anything. Ooops 😂 AND YOU’RE WELCOME!
THIS. Reading old reviews and noticing the mistakes is. the. worst. 😂
RIGHT? I have a bunch of old reviews on GR that I need to rewrite… someday… when I feel brave enough…
I love this post!!! We feel for you, Anna; we really do! 🙂
Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction recently posted…A Recap of the YA Lit Conference & Fandom Frenzy. And a Giveaway!
Thank you Nicole! It means A LOT!
The worst thing of having an European blog, is that I mostly read in English, and I can’t find the books that I want to read in the bookstores of the city where I live. There was a time _ probably a decade ago _ in which I did find about twenty books of the In death series all in a Portuguese bookstore, but that was a fluke. Since then, if its something that I want to read, I know that I’ll have to get online.
For someone who loves books as much as I do it gets frustrating. I haven’t entered a physical bookstore in AGES. -_-
On the other hand, Bookdepository, Awesome books, even Wook have become my best friends.
THIS. I feel the same! I mean, I ADORE books, and when people ask me if I want to go to the bookstore I’m all, “sure, why not?” but not that excited because I don’t want to read translations and I don’t really read French books except for classics 🙁 I just spent 1 hour last weekend at a big bookstore where my mother lives and there wasn’t ANY English book 🙁
I can’t relate to any of this, but it made me laugh so hard!
Theresa Hernandez recently posted…Blog Tour – Excerpt + Giveaway – The Earl (Devil’s Duke) by Katharine Ashe
Thank you!!! I was not sure it would interest people out there, soooo I’m glad you still liked it even if you can’t relate 😀
I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH!
*Yes, time zone differences are such a bitch! But yay for you being part vampire and being able to text us when everyone else is sleeping in France!
*I laughed and cried for your list of book tours stopping in France. I feel guilty for laughing…….I’m sorry.
*”us, the book lovers” *snorts* Well, technically I’ve never snorted before but I’ve always wanted to and this would be the perfect moment!
*I ♥ mdr & VDM (best phrase ever!)
Fabulous post, Anna! Definitely one of my favorite things you have ever written!
THANK YOU UNICORN! (HA!)
* Of COURSE, I forgot the vampire thing. You are so right.
* MDR, you don’t have to feel sorry – that’s okay, I would probably be a blabbing fan anyway XD
* VDM rules! Sometimes I think it to myself, lmao
I’m so glad you enjoyed it <3 Thank you again!
I love our animal names lol! And you are SO lucky to be part vampire. I seriously need to figure out how to acquire those powers! But till then, this post rocked! I love every part of it!
I could teach you…… LMAO HOW CREEPY IS THAT XD Thank you again little unicorn <3
Totally NOT creepy and MUCH needed haha! Aw….I’m always so happy when the bubble part of my name is left off. 😉
Bahahahahahahaha *whispers* in your buuuuuuuubbleeeeeeee XD
♥
Great post, Anna. I don’t even have a blog, and I can relate to almost all of these situations. When it comes to buying books I, luckily, can use Amazon.com for kindle books and I use BD for paperbacks. Few bookshops in my town have some popular books in English, but the prices are way higher than at the BD or Amazon.
Seeing US only giveaway tag, and at netgalley, is alway a bitch. And I can only dream about meeting my favorite authors.
Love the giveaway, btw. 🙂
Thank you Milica! Thanksfully most kindle books are on Amazon.fr as well, just… not every one of them and OF COURSE when I REALLY want a book it’s not here, UGH. It’s great that you can find English books in your bookstores, though!
OMG I LOVE THIS POST. Residing in your neighbouring country, I can relate to pretty much ALL of this! European struggles are real.
1. When do I post things on my blog? 2pm? 3pm? The Australians might still be awake while the Americans just got up?
2. France is huge and shit’s not available. Guess how much availability we have in a country the size of Paris with suburbs (or, well, that’s what it feels like. I hope my geography teacher doesn’t see this *gulp*)
3. Same goes for the list of authors visiting the Land of Cheese and Chocolate. Which is no one ever. People probably don’t even know we exist? Like, oh, Switzerland, yes, you mean Sweden? No.
4. Giveaways are a constant source of torment.
5. “I don’t have any cash atm.” – “Oh, we need to find an ATM to get some cash?” – “Yes, let’s just pretend that’s what I meant.” (Also, VDM was a real runner for a long time even here. I love it xD)
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OMG your comment made me laugh so hard, SORRY XD I feel you, Nina, I feel you. Also I KNOW WHERE SWITZERLAND IS! WOOT! (well if I didn’t it would suck big time XD). At first I had put the giveaway for EU + Switzerland only actually… But the prices are the same in Europe SO I figured I could extend it 😛 Also I love the Land of Cheese and Chocolate (I need to go there someday by the way. It looks SO. BEAUTIFUL)
LMAO ATM XD The struggle is real!
Thank you for stopping by!
PS. The “when should I post?” thing is SO. CONSUMING. ARG.
I live in England, so I agree with the whole ‘authors never coming to my country’ part! It sucks 🙂
Right?! It’s so frustrating!
Ohhhh, that sounds super frustrating, but you made it so hilarious for the rest of us! When I lived in Europe (Riga) and had access to an English Language library, I wound up reading all sorts of things I’d never usually read, since that was all that was available. But I can see that for a book blogger who wants to keep up on current releases, it would be SO HARD!
Yes! THIS! It’s sometimes interesting to get to read books that we wouldn’t know about otherwise, but for the new releases it’s pretty hard XD Thank you!