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BOOK TOUR + REVIEW + GIVEAWAY – Blurred Lines by Lauren Layne

August 26, 2015 / Chelsea / 2 Comments

Lauren Layne has not-so-slowly became my absolute favorite author. From the first book I picked up and the many that followed, I have never once read a story that hasn't made me smile in contentment and sigh with satisfaction. Each and every character she creates is unique and quirky, always burrowing a permanent place in my heart. If you haven't read a story by this amazing author, you are missing out on a truly enriching and heart-warming experience. When you pick up a Lauren Layne book, you know that, if nothing else, you will be smiling and laughing all day as the warm fuzzies envelop you. We are so glad to be a part of the Blurred Lines tour and hope you choose to give this one a try-Look below to see my review, a giveaway, and a hilarious excerpt from this beautiful novel.

BOOK TOUR + REVIEW + GIVEAWAY – Blurred Lines by Lauren Layne

Blurred Lines by Lauren Layne
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
In a novel that’s perfect for fans of Abbi Glines and Jessica Sorensen, USA Today bestselling author Lauren Layne delivers a sexy take on the timeless question: Can a guy and a girl really be “just friends”?

When Parker Blanton meets Ben Olsen during her freshman year of college, the connection is immediate—and platonic. Six years later, they’re still best friends, sharing an apartment in Portland’s trendy Northwest District as they happily settle into adult life. But when Parker’s boyfriend dumps her out of the blue, she starts to wonder about Ben’s no-strings-attached approach to dating. The trouble is, even with Ben as her wingman, Parker can’t seem to get the hang of casual sex—until she tries it with him.

The arrangement works perfectly . . . at first. The sex is mind-blowing, and their friendship remains as solid as ever, without any of the usual messy romantic entanglements. But when Parker’s ex decides he wants her back, Ben is shocked by a fierce stab of possessiveness. And when Ben starts seeing a girl from work, Parker finds herself plagued by unfamiliar jealousy. With their friendship on the rocks for the first time, Parker and Ben face an alarming truth: Maybe they can’t go back. And maybe, deep down, they never want to.

Review – An adamant 5 stars!

We begin walking, and the tension seems to fade, and I think we’re back to normal. Back to where we should be.

But then…
Ben slowly reaches out a hand toward me, and I’m confused right up until the moment his fingers brush mine.
The gesture is tentative. Sweet. And maybe just a little desperate for something that neither of us want to name.
Ben-my best friend in the whole world-is holding my hand.

Sigh. I’m biased. So so sooo biased…except I’m not. Every time I go to pick up another Lauren Layne novel, I get extremely nervous. I’ve even gotten to the point where I don’t even read them as soon as I get the ARC (‘cuz you know I’m a stalker for that shit) because I am excruciatingly nervous that ‘this book will be the LL book that doesn’t do it for me.’ Imagine that-My favorite author writing a book that doesn’t make me swoon or giggle or cry. That would surely be the end of me. So, while this book sounded EXACTLY like what I needed, I didn’t rush to read it right away when I received it. I’m weird like that. But, when my two great buddies asked me to read this with them, I literally couldn’t say no. I mean, I can’t say no to an LL book, right? They picked it up and were so excited….but lo and behold, guess who came out of this one with the largest smile on their face and no regrets?? That would be moi…naturally.

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When I saw this was a story about friends with benefits, I knew that it would either go strongly one way or the other: I’d either love it or hate it. I’ve never been huge on friends-to-lovers romance-it’s just not something I seek out. I don’t dislike it, per se, but I mostly enjoy when the people don’t know each other at first. But, from the moment I picked this up, I knew it was a winner. I was laughing, smiling, and had so many feels just from two chapters. The dialogue, AS ALWAYS, was so realistic and on point that I could barely contain my ridiculous urges to bust out laughing. The characters were people that I immediately became obsessed with, which isn’t that easy to do-I’m so picky with my leads. And the story was just extremely…lighthearted and effortless. The most genius thing about Layne’s novels isn’t that her stories are as sweet as cotton candy-it’s that within that fluff there are real emotions and tough situations that never fail to make my heart ache and my eyes to well up. The angst is never over done and there is just enough that you don’t feel like you are reading a snooze-fest of a happy book (Because, come on, admit it-books with zero angst these days barely stand a chance-we lubbs the drama). And while my two ~~cynical Sally~~ wonderful wonderful friends found more that aggravated them with the characters and their decisions than joy, I thought it was perfection. But don’t I always?

She’s already moving up the stairs. “Suddenly that D you got in biology is making total sense. You apparently missed the entire section on how hormones work.”
“It just so happens that biology is a specialty of mine,” I call up the stairs.
“Earlier today, you didn’t know what the uterus was,” she calls back.
“I knew,” I mutter.
Mostly.

And here’s what’s funny about that: It’s not like I go in all balls to the wall and say, ‘No matter what, I’m giving this a 5-I mean, it’s Lauren Layne!’ No. I actually am the opposite. I am a fair reviewer and I go in with an open mind for each and every story for each and every author. I don’t play favorites-My mind is strong. But I can’t help what the heart wants.

I feel like Lauren Layne takes thoughts directly from my mind and writes exactly like I would if I had even a little ability to do so. She inserts humor in the most wonderful places to soften harsh blows and….Sigh. Will there ever be a universe where I’m not obsessed with LL? I don’t think that’s possible. Which makes me wonder-I have no idea why 20,000 people don’t jump on this woman’s books immediately upon release. I don’t get it. Certain authors, and I certainly won’t say who, release a book and all of a sudden there isn’t one person on my feed who isn’t reading it-and the sad thing is, I think [some of] these authors don’t have half the heart that Layne does. But that’s just me.

I hold her. I pet her hair. I let her soak my T-shirt with her tears, and supply her with ample tissues to cry into. (She’s not a dainty cryer, this one.)
Whatever the cause, the tears always rip at me a little bit, like there’s this pressure on my chest that I don’t know how to relieve. I mean, all girls’ tears do that.
But Parker’s especially. She’s my girl.

Ben. Oh. Em. Gee. Ben. I didn’t know how I’d feel about my boy at first…but from the minute he held Parker as she bawled uncontrollably, I was hooked. He was mine. I’d totally be his. Even with all of his man-whorish ways, he still always put Parker first-always. Call me a sucker, but Ben Olsen pushed all the right buttons. Best friends from college on, he never let a girl get between him and the person that made him happier than any guy friend could. To sum up?? Ben made my heart flutter and my soul soar…And he really didn’t have to do anything but defend Parker. Man oh man I have problems.

And then there was Parker. A lot of people, from what I can tell, didn’t like Parker and the way she handled many situations. I, on the other hand, felt connected to her. I felt like she was a super realistic character-And I know, I know we all like ‘flawed’ characters and we expect certain behavior, but I don’t think readers really all mean it when they say that. Because, yes, Parker was flawed. She had some issues when it came to making decisions and not being a total hypocrite-she was-but here is the kicker: So am I. A lot of you people might not like me that much if you really knew me, considering I can’t make a decision to save my life. And I am a total hypocrite. What’s good for the goose is certainly not good for the gander, for me, sometimes. I am so bad about that. And I know I’m being a tad extreme comparing myself to this character, but I’m trying to prove a point. Layne’s scenarios are completely realistic, at least to me, because not one of us is perfect. And I know in books we don’t want to read about ourselves, but just look at it from every perspective, ya know?

“There is too a rule about shirts in the kitchen,” I insist. “House rule number fourteen. Speaking of which, where are my house rules?”
“Hard to say,” he says, opening the fridge and glancing at it’s meager offerings before pouring a cup of coffee instead. “But I may have used them to mop up OJ the other day. Or maybe as a coaster for my beer.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh wait, no, I remember. I just plain threw them away the old-fashioned way.”

So…yeah. Another huge win for me. And it’s so shocking to me this isn’t more popular than it is, already, because this might be my absolute favorite by her. But, I say that a lot about her books. That says a lot about this author: No matter how many times I say nothing will ever top one of her books I just read, I always come out at the end of a new book gushing and proclaiming my love for it. So….as I was desperately hiding in the bathroom on my husband’s birthday trying to finish this beautiful, fantastic book, I realized how far I would go to get more Lauren Layne-Making time where there is none (seeing as how I was supposed to be done a half hour prior). So, Lauren, can we please have lunch sometime? I know we’d be the BEST of friends. Seriously. Besties. Call me. 😛

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Excerpt

Most of the time, having a girl for a best friend is awesome.
Among the highlights:
(1) My color-blind self never has to worry about going out the door looking like a sad clown.
(2) The Brita water filter is always replaced on time.
(3) Parker actually likes doing laundry for fun, and she only complains when I sneak my stuff in with hers about 30 percent of the time.
Oh, and as this morning’s adventure displayed, she’s an excellent excuse when a person needs to rid himself of clingy one-night stands.
But then there are the not-so-great parts. Like when she’s spent thirty-five minutes looking at lamps.
“Just get that one,” I say, lifting my arm to point at a random floor lamp as the noisy, child-filled scariness that is IKEA threatens to choke me.
She barely glances at the one I’ve selected. “It looks like a uterus.”
“What the fuck does a uterus look like?”
“Like that lamp. And honestly, for as much time as you spend rummaging around in women’s panties, you really should get familiar with their parts.”
“Isn’t the uterus the—” I break off, looking for the right word to describe the random memories from eighth-grade sex-ed class.
Parker lifts her eyebrows. “The baby cave?”
Like any normal guy would, I wince. “Christ. Why would I need to know about that? I use a condom.”
“Several of them, judging from the state of your bedroom,” she says, tilting her head to study the lime green lamp shade in her hands. “Do you think this would clash with my bedspread?”
“You’re asking the color-blind guy? Like I have any clue what color your bedspread is.”
“Seriously? Don’t act like you’ve never seen it. Two nights ago you flopped onto my bed in your sweaty gym clothes and it took me two washes to remove the man stank.”
I shake my head. “Poor Lance. Do you make him wear a plastic bag when you guys hook up so he doesn’t get his man stank on your sheets?”
“Lance doesn’t have man stank.”
I frown. “Hold up. If I have man stank, Lance has man stank.”
“No.”
I open my mouth to argue, but instead I shrug. That’s another thing you learn having a girl best friend. You pick your battles.
“You have two more minutes to pick your lamp,” I say. “I’m starving.”
Parker adjusts her purse strap on her shoulder. “Oh, I’m not buying a lamp. I was just browsing.”
I inhale deeply to rein in my women suck rampage when I catch her smirk.
“Oh, I get it,” I say as we move toward the end of the store where we’ll pick up my dresser. “This is payback. You’re mad because I made up that story about you having a creepy doll collection.”
“Actually, it was more punishment for destroying the house rules. I’m totally laminating them next time.”
“Or you could just create an online version and keep them in the cloud like normal people born after 1980.”
I see a little lightbulb go on in her head and almost regret giving her the idea. Not that it matters much. I’ve never really followed her fussy rules anyway, although for the most part I try to not be too much of a dick. The towel incident this morning notwithstanding, it’s like I said, Parker loves laundry. I knew she had extra clean ones stashed away.
“Seriously, don’t get that color finish,” she says, shaking her head at the dresser box I’m about to pull off the shelf.
“Wood is wood,” I say with a shrug, starting to maneuver the huge box onto our flat cart.
“No, there’s old-man wood and there’s modern wood.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Old-man wood, huh? You and your kinky fetishes. Do you make the dolls watch?”
She ignores me, and uses her hip to push the box I’d started to move back onto its shelf. “That one.” She points.
“Espresso?” I ask, reading the label.
But Parker is now typing away on her phone. I shrug, pushing her out of the way so I can get at the box she indicated.
“How about tacos?” she asks, glancing up briefly from her phone.
“I just had Mexican last night,” I say through a grunt as I move the box into position.
“You said I could pick.” She gives me a challenging look, her goldish brown eyes practically daring me to argue with her.
“If it was a unilateral decision, why’d you even ask?”
“Unilateral. Good word. And it was a test. You passed,” she says, trotting to catch up with me as she replaces her phone in her purse. “So how did you and Airhead meet? The Beta Phi party last night? She looked like she was eighteen.”
“Airhead?” I ask.
“It was written on her pants. Literally.”
“Oh, right. Those weren’t her pants. Lindsay left them last week.”
She makes a disgusted face as she pulls her long dark hair into a messy bun. I don’t notice most things about Parker as a girl, because, ya know, it’s just Parker, but she does have some damn good hair. It’s all Victoria’s Secret model–-like, long and dark with lightish streaks running through it.
The rest of her is kind of Victoria’s Secret-ish, too, but other than an initial moment of whoa when we first met, there’s never really been anything between us. I guess you could say I like her too much.
That and she’s dating Lance, and I like the guy. I mean, we’re not best friends or anything, but it’s impossible to live with Parker and not have some sort of friendship with her significant other.
Lance and I stop short of braiding each other’s hair, but we watch games together on occasion. I’d never make a move on his girl—even if I wanted Parker.
Which I don’t.
“So let me get this straight,” she says, as I swipe my credit card through the self-checkout machine. “One of your booty calls leaves her pants, which is weird, by the way, and then a week later, an underclassman sorority girl willingly puts them on?”
I shrug and give her a look out of the corner of my eye. “What’s wrong with that?”
Parker closes her eyes and sort of scratches at her eyebrow. “You don’t tell your mother any of this, do you?”
“Sure, we actually have a family blog, and I list my sexual activity for the week every Sunday. Is that weird?”
She ignores me, pulling out her phone again.

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About the author – Lauren Layne

Lauren Layne is the USA Today Bestselling author of contemporary romance.

Prior to becoming an author, Lauren worked in e-commerce and web-marketing. In 2011, she and her husband moved from Seattle to New York City, where Lauren decided to pursue a full-time writing career. It took six months to get her first book deal (despite ardent assurances to her husband that it would only take three). Since then, Lauren’s gone on to publish ten books, including the bestselling Stiletto series, with several more on the way in 2015.

Lauren currently lives in Chicago with her husband and spoiled Pomeranian. When not writing, you’ll find her at happy hour, running at a doggedly slow pace, or trying to straighten her naturally curly hair.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads

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BOOK REVIEW: Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy

August 24, 2015 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
What if you'd been living your life as if you were dying—only to find out that you had your whole future ahead of you?

When sixteen-year-old Alice is diagnosed with leukemia, her prognosis is grim. To maximize the time she does have, she vows to spend her final months righting wrongs—however she sees fit. She convinces her friend Harvey, who she knows has always had feelings for her, to help her with a crazy bucket list that's as much about revenge (humiliating her ex-boyfriend and getting back at her archnemesis) as it is about hope (doing something unexpectedly kind for a stranger). But just when Alice's scores are settled, she goes into remission.

Now Alice is forced to face the consequences of all that she's said and done, as well as her true feelings for Harvey. But has she caused irreparable damage to the people around her—and to the one person who matters most?

Julie Murphy's Side Effects May Vary is a fearless and moving tour de force about love, life, and facing your own mortality.

Karma was a bitch, but so was I.

Once upon a time, there was a girl. This girl grew up with her best friend, her partner in crime, and they were inseparable. She was the ring-leader, and he’d follow her anywhere. He’d do anything for her, because he had fallen madly in love with her. They got to high school. They drifted apart. Then one day, her world shattered with the uttering of three simple words: You have cancer. And with the proclamation of these words, the world became clearer. Her world began to focus, align. She would get the boy on her side again. She would start a bucket list. But not just any bucket list-she would make all those who wronged her pay. Her story isn’t pretty. Her story isn’t nice. She manipulates, breaks hearts, and makes people’s lives (or one person’s in particular) a living hell. You will not like her. You will not condone her actions. But you will finish this, and you will sympathize with her. Your morbid curiosity-and longing for the boy to get what he wants-will win out…but you won’t like the harsh reality. I warned you.

Cancer would take away plenty. My hair, my body, my life. What I’d never realized, though, was that there was one privilege to dying: the right to live without consequence.

Wow. I just don’t even know what to say to this?? What a harsh, manipulative, heart-breaking,
addicting book. Never have I read something that conflicted my feelings so much…okay, lies-But it’s been a while! I went into this not really knowing what I was getting myself into. The reviews are dreadfully mixed, ranging from ‘wow this was epic’ to…yeah, I won’t even say it. Alice isn’t a nice girl-of that I was sure of. But the extents she goes to?? I just never…I never expected it. Now, listen to this. It wasn’t even the payback. Sorry, guys, her bucket list was epic. But no, she treated Harvey, her best friend, the boy who has loved her since they were kids, like shit. This? This was extremely hard to handle.

When the girl you loved was dying, it was hard not to let yourself go with her.

Everyone knows I am always on the boy’s side. It’s inevitable-that’s just meeeeee. But in this one, I don’t see how you couldn’t feel horrible for the boy. How you couldn’t fall in love with him and be on his side. He was the kindest person ever-He’d drop everything to help Alice. He’d humiliate himself in front of the whole school to save her. He’d protect at any and all costs, even if he felt like he was losing a piece of his soul-and he did. He really, truly lost a part of himself in this story, and it tore me to shreds. He would sacrifice everything for her…but there’s a point where even the most in love, dedicated guys can’t take the heartache anymore. Naturally this was when I felt like my heart had went through a wood chipper. Enough was enough….but when you’re madly, truly deeply in love with someone, when do you give up? Never.

When I dropped her off, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, a small gesture that she knew would appease me. I hated myself for letting it be this way, and I hated her for making it this way. But, really, I loved her, and that hurt the worst of all because I was tired of being her debris.

Alice was a bitch. A manipulative asshole. A vengeful little shit. She was beyond redemption and deserved everything that came her way…but, yet….I understood her. I even liked her sometimes-Go figure. But, as I said, every time she manipulated Harvey I didn’t like her. Anyone that can treat someone that way is disgusting, no matter the circumstances. What she went through was horrible, dreadful, but in no way excused treating someone you love that way. Her bucket list was complete, she was on her death bed, when she finally gets the news any person would cherish and grip onto with their last shred of hope and dignity-You’re in remission. But not Alice-Alice has a lot to atone for…and she’s in deep shit.
Oh shit.
This, I did not expect. This was not on my list.

One thing I must say was that the writing wasn’t quite what I’d expected it to be-It didn’t flow as much as my favorite books have lately and it was missing a lyrical quality I’ve grown accustomed to, but that is probably due in part to the intensity of every page. You weren’t focused on the writing so much as Harvey’s heart breaking into little tiny pieces chapter by chapter, and of course that stunted every line, every paragraph-the lines were blurred, but only because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. It was written in a then and now fashion, which I loathe normally. But as the story progressed, it only served to produce impact-POWERFUL IMPACT…and it made me think the story was perfect as it was and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d known her my whole life. Other girls didn’t exist for me in the same way she did. They had been there all along, these feelings; the only thing that had changed was my understanding of them. My whole body finally connected the dots, and I realized that even if we were never together, she’d ruined me and I’d never feel that way about anyone again.

****
On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my hope, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.
I was thirteen years old, and she was all these things to me.
And I was her friend.

So, if stories with a morally ambiguous character aren’t your thing, I’d steer clear of this story altogether. It’s not a sweet story (unless you count Harvey and Alice’s love story), it’s not light or easy or wholly likable…but it has heart. It has substance. And it might or might not be gratifying, in the end….but this story became beyond addictive and had my stomach in knots from beginning to end….And never has revenge tasted so sweet.

BOOK REVIEW: The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider

August 21, 2015 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Golden boy Ezra Faulkner believes everyone has a tragedy waiting for them—a single encounter after which everything that really matters will happen. His particular tragedy waited until he was primed to lose it all: in one spectacular night, a reckless driver shatters Ezra’s knee, his athletic career, and his social life.

No longer a front-runner for Homecoming King, Ezra finds himself at the table of misfits, where he encounters new girl Cassidy Thorpe. Cassidy is unlike anyone Ezra’s ever met, achingly effortless, fiercely intelligent, and determined to bring Ezra along on her endless adventures.

But as Ezra dives into his new studies, new friendships, and new love, he learns that some people, like books, are easy to misread. And now he must consider: if one’s singular tragedy has already hit and everything after it has mattered quite a bit, what happens when more misfortune strikes?

Robyn Schneider’s The Beginning of Everything is a lyrical, witty, and heart-wrenching novel about how difficult it is to play the part that people expect, and how new beginnings can stem from abrupt and tragic endings.

I thought about the metal in my knee, replacing this piece of me that was missing, that no longer worked. And it wasn’t my heart, I kept telling myself. It wasn’t my heart.

Ah, okay…so. So. I’m going to venture out and say I have no clue what I want to say. There. Simple. I said it. Except…I had so much to say. I had little notes written here and there and I found some great enjoyment and humor from page one to the end. And then there was so much sadness entwined in each layer of humor, of each dig at his being crippled. It was a very complex book in the aspect that you didn’t know if you should be happy or sad sometimes….Like, at times, I wondered why this book focused so much on popularity, like it was almost mockingly downplaying the tragedy of his accident. But then, before I could get too judgmental, the main character kind of snapped out of it-He began to see life for what it really was, what it meant, who he could be…and that’s where I found my greatest enjoyment.

Everyone’s life, no matter how unremarkable, has a moment when it will become extraordinary-a single encounter after which everything that really matters will happen.

I’m sure a lot of teens do go through the motions from day-to-day, taking for granted the fact that they woke up breathing, had many friends, and were a part of whatever tier their little social hierarchy was…I know I did. I never cared or thought twice about who I was or where I ranked. I never had to worry about it-until I did. Life changes. People evolve. You meet your soul mate or whoever you think you should be with, you make career choices or college choices or even life choices, and your friends might no longer be compatible with where you are going. I understand that, because it happened to me. I never thought of my rank…until I met THE one-Yeah, that guy I’m married to, now.

Tennis was like a video game, one that I’d beat a million times, with the pleasure of winning long gone. A game that I’d kept on playing because people expected me to, and I was good at doing what people expected. But not anymore, because no one seemed to expect anything from me anymore. The funny thing about gold is how quickly it can tarnish.

It’s funny how quickly people turn on you when you don’t want to hang out with endless boys every Friday and Saturday night like they used to ask you to-how quickly I was outcast-It was almost comical. But what happens when you are outcast from the ‘awesomest group of friends ever?’ You move the fuck on-just like I did. You see, part of who I can say I was (and I still am, really), is that I never was mean to people. I had friends in every clique, group, sports team, whatever. So I just walked to the other side of the hallway to my other friends standing by their lockers, and it was as easy as breathing-except it wasn’t. It hurt. It hurt like a mother fucker that my best friend, the girl who had spent the night at my house for a whole summer while we stayed up ’til 4 AM watching scary movies and binge-drinking Mountain Dew (except when we had a game the next day!), had iced me out, was spreading rumors about me, talking behind my back, and generally trying to make my life a living hell-and it was-internally. Keep in mind: One day we were totally fine, the next, people were approaching me saying that my best friend was talking about me and we apparently weren’t friends anymore. This was news to me. All because of who I chose to date. It’s sick, and there’s more to the story, as there always is, but that’s the gist of it. We were at pivotal moments in our lives, and she wanted to start rebelling, to start drinking and partying, as most kids do, I realize, but I was never that way. I didn’t need anyone to pull me in that direction, my parents aren’t/weren’t drinkers, so I was never going to take that path. She had started to go out behind my back (I don’t know why? I wouldn’t have cared…just proof positive of her insecurities-who am I to judge? You’re my best friend for fuck sakes…) and fib-Me dating my now-husband was just the final jealous nail in the coffin. It is what it is. My point? While it hurt that my soccer friends and everyone on that social tier was being kind of ridiculous, I held my head high like I didn’t care, moved on to my other friends, and walked down the hallways laughing and acting as if my world hadn’t changed. Sometimes life takes a direction you never expected-but it makes you a better person for it, in the end.

It was like the part of me that had enjoyed those friends had evaporated, leaving behind a huge, echoing emptiness, and I was scrabbling on the edge of it, trying not to fall into the hole within myself because I was terrified to find out how far down it went.

And believe me when I say that I had no intention of writing any of that-it never even crossed my mind while reading this book, but, for some reason, when I started this review, that story felt relevant. You know, the lack of similarities as you grow older, the fact that I chose to take a different path, a harder path. Oh, PS, she had apologized a year later-after I was okay with standing on the other side of the field during soccer practice and acting like it didn’t bother me at all to hang with other girls on the team. It came in the form of-“Oh, wow *grabs ear* when did you get this pierced? That’s cool!” I guess we acted like it never happened…except for a letter of apology. Needless to say, we barely talk now, but we’re on okay terms. Sigh. Anyway. I am not comparing myself to Ezra, I think he was a little skewed on his thoughts of who he should hang out with and why…but it felt right to mention that, even when things aren’t going the way you want them to, it might not be the worst thing to happen to you, nor is it the end of the world.

He’d grown up into exactly the unabashedly nerdy, quick-witted guy you’d expect from a kid who went door-to-door selling homemade comics to raise the start-up capital for our summer lemonade stand when we were ten. And I’d grown up into a massive douche-with a cane.

My story had a happily ever after….but did Ezra’s? His story, even from the beginning, while riddled with his humor, had a dark undertone. His life was tennis, he was popular, he had a girlfriend…then one fateful night he gets slammed into by an SUV-shattering his knee beyond repair. He will never get to play tennis again. His whole life, career path, etc, are gone…or so he thinks. I loved that he was a closet nerd. It made me deliriously happy, actually. I can’t say I always loved all the conversations he had with his new found (some old, some new) group, but I loved the sincerity with which he connected with them-how he finally felt like he belonged and that was where he always should have been. I loved Ezra, in the end.

She was achingly effortless, and she would never, in a million years, choose me. But, for the next few minutes, I contented myself with the magnificent possibility that she might.

I had a lot of problems with this book. I can’t even tell you why (See blur rating shelf above). But some things I can tell you:

1. The Romance-Fuck that bitch, Ezra, you could do better. I didn’t like her-ever. But that’s my personal opinion. My heart melted as he fell in love with the mysterious Cassidy Thorpe. He was such a fragile, adorable boy who fell for a girl completely high on herself. Eh, I’m biased, sue me.

As always, she left me wanting more, and dreaming of what it would be like if I ever got it.

*****************

She tasted like buried treasure and swing sets and coffee. She tasted the way fireworks felt, like something you could get close to but never really have just for yourself.

2. The Plot-While a wonderful message, in the end (for a while it seemed a tad clique-y and cliche, maybe it always was, but I stopped seeing it near the end), it was a tad day-to-day activity for me, and I didn’t like the people he surrounded himself with enough to love it.

3. The Characters– See above. But I loved Toby and Cooper. More on Cooper here in a sec. I never really believed the character’s reactions-not all of them, anyway. Some of it felt false or misplaced and I kind of thought those parts were a little exaggerated. But that’s probably just me.

4. The Voice/Humor– I LOVED Ezra’s voice. I wasn’t sure at first, but as the story progressed, I started to highlight more and more of his hilarious voice. His humor was THE BEST. Perfectly cheesy humor and bad puns-win.

5. Nostalgic References– If you were a child of the 90’s, or even remotely aware of any happenings, toys, shows, etc. in the 90’s, the nostalgic ramblings, conversations, and throw backs were epic. I was smiling SO big about stuff I had long forgotten. Wow.

6. Cooper–Cooper the dog was by far my second favorite character. The way he talks to him and the bond they have breaks my heart. He had read The Great Gatsby over the summer and had a ton of those type of references, imagining the dog referring to him as ‘old sport’ on more than one occasion. I LOVED this dog-he is loyal, fun, and a total badass….I absolutely adored this aspect.

7. I cried–That is all. Out of nowhere. Right in the feels.

We move through each other’s lives like ghosts, leaving behind haunting memories of people who never existed. The popular jock. The mysterious new girl. But we’re the ones who choose, in the end, how people see us. And I’d rather be misremembered.

So, without further adieu, I will wrap this up. I never meant for this to be long. It was actually supposed to be short because I both loved and hated this…but sometimes, as my friend just said, the review decides for you. I think there was a lot of stereotype stuff in here, but the message was clear: It wanted to be stereotypical. It wanted the message to pop out at the end for all to see, and I get what the author was doing. I just wonder if people with this dislike in books will be able to get past that and the somewhat slow pace to actually get to the message at the end. I don’t know. Either way, I had a fun time with this one-for the most part.

**PS, there were literally so many quotes I wanted to use that I couldn’t-if nothing else, this book had a million quotable parts. I am sad I didn’t have enough room, lol.

***

This one hurt, Guys-really, truly, deeply. Ouch.

But not for the reasons you’d suspect….Or maybe exactly for the reasons you suspect. Who knows.

Review to come.

BOOK REVIEW: Poison Study (Study #1) by Maria V. Snyder

August 17, 2015 / Chelsea / 4 Comments

Poison Study (Study #1)
by Maria V. Snyder
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
Choose: A quick death…Or slow poison...

About to be executed for murder, Yelena is offered an extraordinary reprieve. She'll eat the best meals, have rooms in the palace—and risk assassination by anyone trying to kill the Commander of Ixia.

And so Yelena chooses to become a food taster. But the chief of security, leaving nothing to chance, deliberately feeds her Butterfly's Dust—and only by appearing for her daily antidote will she delay an agonizing death from the poison.

As Yelena tries to escape her new dilemma, disasters keep mounting. Rebels plot to seize Ixia and Yelena develops magical powers she can't control. Her life is threatened again and choices must be made. But this time the outcomes aren't so clear..

Who better to have on my side? Rand, the cook, whose food I’d be eating on a daily basis, or Valek, the assassin, who had a nasty tendency of poisoning my meals?

Ahhh where do I even begin??? Is there even an adequate place to start? Wellll, first I’d like to give a shout out to my two vacant besties who did a ~~wonderful~~ horrible job of reading this with me-Hello, Bitches (you know who you are, my lovelies). They really missed out. While subtle in it’s charm, this book sneaks up on you like poison in your veins (Muaha I went there).

With a soft, languid pace, this book tricks you with it’s addicting nature-It isn’t rushed, hurried, nor overly stuffed with information, yet each chapter something significant happens that has you on the edge of your seat. Whether it’s an attack on Yelena to abduct her, a poison lecture on what to watch out for, or an actual tasting for the commander, I was never once bored and found myself idly wondering how this book could so be wonderful with it’s understated simplicity.

Shouldn’t, should, shouldn’t, should. So easy to say but so hard to believe.

I think that’s my favorite part, if I’m being honest-aside from the romance, duh-the beautiful writing. I don’t know why, but each page that passed had me begging for more even as plenty was happening. For such a simple job, Yelena has a lot of enemies, and with those enemies comes attacks, training, and so much more. I yearned for those moments when Valek had to come save the day because there was yet another threat on her life (and no, it wasn’t a tacky nine-lives deal like the Kathleen Turner series…this chick had real enemies). But he’s another story altogether…

I moved. In a heartbeat I twisted her arm behind her back. She yelped as I raised her hand up high, forcing her to bend forward.
“I am not a rat,” I said through clenched teeth. “I’ve proved my loyalty. You will get off my back. No more nasty messages in the dust. No more prying into my things. Or the next time, I’ll break your arm.” I shoved her hard as I released my grip.

Yelena. Omg I loved her. She was strong, determined, cunning, and brave. She was weak, scared, and the target of an evil man. She was so many things all wrapped up into one small package, and she was on the last leg of her life. A convicted and admitted murderer, she is next in line for noose. But then an opportunity arises where the next in line to die is to be offered the position of poison testing the Commander’s food. He is a powerful man who has many powerful enemies-all who want to be his successor and take his position as their own. So Yelena has a choice-die by noose the following morning, or agree to be the guinea pig and possibly die by poison on any given day if she doesn’t detect all traces of poison at any given time. But, in the end, there’s really no choice at all-Live with danger, or die.

Damn it, I thought, angry at myself. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about. I shouldn’t miss Valek; I should try harder to escape. I shouldn’t figure out the bean puzzle; I should sabotage it. I shouldn’t admire and respect him; I should vilify him.

Valek. Oh gosh he was perfection. A trained assassin loyal only to the Commander, he is appointed with teaching Yelena the art of poisons so she can be the food taster for the commander. Up until Yelena, Valek has been filling in the position after the last food taster met his untimely end. He is fierce, loyal, and a total hardass when it comes to training Yelena…but the same could be said of his defending her. A convicted felon is nothing in comparison to keeping his commander safe, but what happens when she starts to show her strength and determination? Her willingness to do whatever needs to be done to stay alive? What happens when attack after attack, he grows more and more desperate to keep her alive….even as he implies it’s nothing more than him doing his job and not wanting to have to train another poison tester.

My interactions with Valek resembled a performance on the tightrope. One minute I was confident and balanced, and the next insecure and unstable.

Come on, Valek, you adorably sly dog. We all know after training you should be moving on…Anywho, I adored them. They were absolutely adorable. He is a busy bee and she is doing everything she can to stay alive…but each time she thinks she’s alone and there’s no way she’ll get out of her predicament, who’s right behind her to save the day? A slow burn romance at it’s finest, we see them gradually falling for one another as each day passes, more confusion and desperation in preventing each action that might cause them pain or suffering…I couldn’t help but to become addicted, now could I?

Even more than the romance, though, was the friendships formed. I mean, it was absolutely adorable when she befriends two soldiers and they do everything in their power to keep her safe when Valek can’t. Loyal friends who train her in combat and watch out for her at every turn, I was almost as obsessed with them as I was the romance. It’s not often I find a friendship addicting, but this one got under my skin.

“It’s a dirty way to fight, but I’m late for lunch.”

So, you know, I loved this one. And why wouldn’t I? Romance, betrayal, a mercurial assassin, and a ton of action that never seems to cease no matter how breezy the pace, I was hooked from Valek’s first smirk (Chapter one, duh). I know there was much more I wanted to say, but sometimes it’s best to leave things be. I will try to chill out and let you all decide on your own if this is for you or not-but just know: It’s not only a romance, though there is an ample amount of longing you’ll do for she and Valek to just kiss already!!! It’s a story of strength and strong-will, a determination to break free and save what you hold dear, and a wonderful world of castles and watching your back even though you have a group that supports your every move…I just loved it so much. Literally my only problem? I wanted more. Sigh…such a horrible predicament, isn’t it? Ciao, Bellas.

BOOK REVIEW: I Am Not A Serial Killer (John Cleaver #1) by Dan Wells

August 14, 2015 / Chelsea / 0 Comments

I Am Not A Serial Killer (John Cleaver #1)
by Dan Wells
Purchase on: Amazon, iBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:
John Wayne Cleaver is dangerous, and he knows it.

He's spent his life doing his best not to live up to his potential.

He's obsessed with serial killers, but really doesn't want to become one. So for his own sake, and the safety of those around him, he lives by rigid rules he's written for himself, practicing normal life as if it were a private religion that could save him from damnation.

Dead bodies are normal to John. He likes them, actually. They don't demand or expect the empathy he's unable to offer. Perhaps that's what gives him the objectivity to recognize that there's something different about the body the police have just found behind the Wash-n-Dry Laundromat---and to appreciate what that difference means.

Now, for the first time, John has to confront a danger outside himself, a threat he can't control, a menace to everything and everyone he would love, if only he could.

Dan Wells's debut novel is the first volume of a trilogy that will keep you awake and then haunt your dreams.

You are evil, said myself. You are Mr. Monster. You are nothing. You are me.

Well well well…what an odd slice of fun this was. Simplistic and understated, this book really doesn’t try to be anything other than what it says it is, making for not only a fun, easy read, but a very touching one, as well. It’s not easy to read about a diagnosed sociopath…well, at least not for the average person. For me? It felt more authentic and real. I became entwined and engrossed with this character in the early stages of the book, making it enjoyable from page one all the way until the end. And then there’s that damn middle part that just…ugh…it was so…ah, fuck it-It made me laugh. Hard.

“So you have coincidental links to two serial killers,” he said. “That’s a little odd, I admit, but I’m still not seeing a cosmic conspiracy against you.”
“My last name is ‘Cleaver,'” I said. “How many people do you know who are named after two serial killers and a murder weapon?”

I mean seriously?? He really went there? You’ve got to be kidding me. And yet….is it odd that, in the end, I kind of loved where this went??? I can now see why some people didn’t like the direction this novel took, but I actually, after my initial shock, LOVED IT! It took a bit, I’ll admit, to get past the absurdity with which this was presented. But let me ask you this: For me, being the type of reader that I am, why wouldn’t I love the fact that this ~~little~~ twist made it all the more perilous? Yeah, it was totally unbelievable. Yeah, it was an odd direction to go. And, yes, it will not be for everyone. But, for whatever reason, I decided I really liked it-Logic be damned.

I think that fire is more alive than we are-brighter, hotter, more sure of itself and where it wants to go. Fire doesn’t settle; fire doesn’t tolerate; fire doesn’t “get by.” Fire does.
Fire is.

I really did have an internal struggle on whether or not I liked what was happening in this one. I wrestled with the idea that, while I am in love with these types of books, this was really dumb. But it comes down to more than that, it comes down to if the positive outweighs the negative…and, for me, it did. And that big positive that made this whole book worth it? Our main character, John.

People scurry around, doing their little jobs and raising their little families and shouting their meaningless emotions to the world, and all the while you just watch from the sidelines, bewildered. This drives some sociopaths to feel superior, as if the whole of humanity were simply animals to be hunted or put down; others feel a hot, jealous rage, desperate to have what they cannot. I simply felt alone, one leaf sitting miles away from a giant, communal pile.

Emotionless, lacking empathy, and a social outcast, John was my favorite type of character, at the moment. Well, I like a little more empathy in my boys, but, hey-You get what I mean. Not without the quirky inner monologue or the twisted humor of the writing would this book have succeeded-of that I’m sure. John would not be a likable character to read about had we not gotten his odd rationalizations of the goings on around him or the way he views human flaws, such as love and loyalty. In a way, he’s broken. He longs to feel something, anything, if only to be like those around him-He can’t even cry. He gets jealous that others have this ability, and that’s why he is so fascinated with serial killers-weird sounding, I know! But, when you feel like you’re on the verge of being one yourself, it only makes sense to latch onto the one connection in this world you are sure is your only like to humanity.

“You’re weird, man,” said Max, taking another bite of his sandwich. “That’s all there is to say. Someday you’re going to kill a whole bunch of people-probably more than ten, because you’re such an overachiever-and then they’re going to have me on TV and ask if I saw this coming, and I’m going to say,’Hell yes, that guy was seriously screwed up.'”
“Then I guess I have to kill you first,” I said.

You heard me right-He thinks he is destined to be a serial killer. And, because of this, he has a set of rules he rigidly follows. And it has worked…until a serial killer comes to town. Every day his ‘monster’ threatens to leak out, to identify with this new murderer-sorry, sorry, not murder…SERIAL KILLER-in town. But when he finds out who is killing, he takes responsibility into his own hands. Who better to find a serial killer…than a destined-to-be serial killer?

“I’ve been clinically diagnosed with sociopathy,” I said. “Do you know what that means?”
“It means you’re a freak,” he said.
“It means that you’re about as important to me as a cardboard box,” I said. “You’re just a thing-a piece of garbage that no one’s thrown away yet. Is that what you want me to say?”
“Shut up,” said Rob. He was still acting tough, but I could see his bluster was starting to fail-he didn’t know what to say.
“The thing about boxes,” I said, “is that you can open them up. Even though they’re completely boring on the outside, there might be something interesting on the inside. So while you’re saying all of these stupid, boring things, I’m imagining what it would be like to cut you open and see what you’ve got in there.”

-lol, is it deranged I laughed and loved that?

Stellar, spot-on writing, wicked humor, and absolutely gruesome scenes that make you think deeper about life in general….I really liked this book. And, after looking at book two ratings and reviews, it seems book two is even darker, grittier, better. I cannot wait until I get the time to read book two. Because once John’s exterior cracked? I fell in love with him. I can’t wait to see how he wrestles with his dark side.