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BOOK REVIEW: I Am the Weapon (The Unknown Assassin #1) by Allen Zadoff

BOOK REVIEW: I Am the Weapon (The Unknown Assassin #1) by Allen ZadoffI Am the Weapon (The Unknown Assassin #1)
by Allen Zadoff
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

Previously published under the title Boy Nobody

They needed the perfect assassin.

Boy Nobody is the perennial new kid in school, the one few notice and nobody thinks much about. He shows up in a new high school in a new town under a new name, makes a few friends and doesn't stay long. Just long enough for someone to die -- of "natural causes." Mission accomplished, Boy Nobody disappears, moving on to the next target.

But when The Program assigns him to the mayor of New York City, things change. Somewhere deep inside, Boy Nobody is somebody: the kid he once was; the teen who wants normal things, like a real home and a girlfriend; a young man who wants out. And who just might want those things badly enough to sabotage The Program's mission.

In this action-packed series debut, author Allen Zadoff pens a page-turning thriller that is as thought-provoking as it is gripping, introducing an utterly original and unforgettable antihero.

Buddy read with the amazing  Anna

 


Eventually people stop looking at me, stop meeting my eye.
There is nothing to meet.
There is nobody here.

 

So here’s the thing-I’ve found out a lot about myself recently. 1. I like flawed heroes more than I do any other kind of hero. 2. I enjoy fucked up scenarios in which the main character might or might not be a serial killer or any other type of cool thing like that (Most recently an assassin (obviously ^^^)). 3. I love male main characters or POVs, if done correctly, almost more than female POVs and main characters. And, lastly, I quite enjoy not-so-happily-ever-afters…to an extent. I’m still a bleeding heart-I’ll never lose that trait completely, I don’t think.

I remember that day. That moment. The smile.
I felt it then.
This sensation.
Not a sensation, I realize now.
A feeling.

None of this is shocking, really, if you know me at all. But I don’t think I knew, myself. No, most shocking to me is that I actually found this genre. I didn’t simply stumble upon it by circumstance, but because a great friend who does break the mold a little chose to gush. That’s all it took and I broke free of my safe little bubble and emerged on the other side victorious. I have found some truly astounding characters that will likely stay with me forever, and they are all male (Okay, so, clearly everyone knows I love my heroes but it’s completely different when I’m 100% in the male’s head the whole time, cut me a little slack). My point to all this?? I am so glad that I had a friend who read something that was so interesting and took the time to tell me about it so I would take my interest and actually put it to use, because now?? I have such a wide genre opened up to me that I would have never thought to look into before this moment and I am forever grateful that I chose to stalk this person’s reviews of that earlier series because I’ve read some great, albeit fucked up, books in the last month.

There are too many things like this lately. Things I do without knowing why, motivations that I cannot fully comprehend.

Bold. Daring. And most of all…Surprisingly deep and heartfelt. It started off kinda clinical, ya know? I was enjoying it immensely, but I felt like I was a third party when really all I wanted was to be inside his head to the point where I felt what he felt. I wanted that intensity and that deep rooted connection, and for a while I didn’t get that sensation…no, sorry, not a sensation, a feeling. ;). But then something happened. Benny boy’s door started to get some action-a light knock here, a dull thud there, then someone started to pound on the door until it splintered and cracked and ultimately exploded wide open. We were suddenly in this guy’s head. We had the inside track to what his weakness was, what made him human and not just some freaky assassin kid that doesn’t have any emotion. And the minute we started to see who this kid really was?? That’s when I just knew we were in for a ride-finally.

I had feelings once, too. I think I did. But that was a long time ago.
That was before.

Pulse-pounding, heart-throbbing, unpredictable and intense. I promise you-You won’t see what’s coming. You’ll think you know, but honestly? You don’t. The fast paced plot went straight to my bloodstream and made it impossible to breathe. I was so so happy to be back into a ‘criminal-type’ mind-It was like coming home, if I’m being honest. Even more truthfully, I’ve been looking for a guy that even halfway reminds me of Jazz…and it’s hard. It’s hard when you love a character so much and can’t seem to find that connection anywhere else. It stunts your excitement of other books. It makes you crazy. And dear old ‘Ben’ wasn’t quite Jazz and the stories are wholly different….but I can’t say he wasn’t close-In fact, he really touched me and made me think of Jazz more than once. That’s all I can ask for.

You learn many things with a knife in your shoulder.
You learn how to save your life. Or how to die.

Dealing with what it means to feel, to be human, to fit in, Ben will touch your heart in more ways than one. Losing your humanity when everything has been taken from you can make you a drone-immobile, a robot. But what happens when someone breaks through your shell? Makes you feel, makes you think about right and wrong, fair and unfair. So, yes, I loved this book very much. Will it be for everyone? Most likely, not. But…for those of you looking for a fun way to switch things up? Take a chance, try something you would never have tried before…And you might just come out in love with a whole new genre.


Sam is in my arms now, her body warm against mine, her lips so close that we share a breath.
“You went away for a second,” she says.
“I’m afraid to get close to you.”

 

 

 

********************************************

Because me and Anna NEED another sociopath dude like JAZZ. It’s an obsession and a curse.

Mission: Find a disturbed and tortured boy like Jazz
Successes thus far: ZERO
Are we ready? FUCK YES

The search continues….


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BOOK REVIEW – Rowdy (Marked Men #5) by Jay Crownover

BOOK REVIEW – Rowdy (Marked Men #5) by Jay CrownoverRowdy (Marked Men #5)
by Jay Crownover
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

After the only girl he ever loved told him that he would never be enough, Rowdy St. James knocked the Texas dust off his boots and set out to live up to his nickname. A good ol’ boy looking for good times and good friends, Rowdy refuses to take anything too seriously, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Burned by love once, he isn’t going to let himself trust a woman again. But that’s before his new co-worker arrives, a ghost from the past who’s suddenly making him question every lesson he ever learned.

Salem Cruz grew up in a house with too many rules and too little fun—a world of unhappiness she couldn’t wait to forget. But one nice thing from childhood has stayed with her; the memory of the sweet, blue-eyed boy next door who’d been head over heels in love with her little sister.

Now, fate and an old friend have brought her and Rowdy together, and Salem is determined to show him that once upon a time he picked the wrong sister. A mission that is working perfectly—until the one person that ties them together appears, threatening to tear them apart for good.

Review:

Rowdy was not really a dominant character in the previous Marked Men’s books, in my eyes.  He appeared here and there, but I never really had a good grasp on him and his whole story.  Luckily we got to dive right into his history, and it wasn’t long before I knew him just as well as the others.  But his story has a different element, which made it even more enjoyable.  Two more stories become intertwined with his, and it made for a great addition.  I don’t want to give them away, and they aren’t related to the other Marked Men characters, but be prepared to have fun as you watch all of the drama, feelings and events unfold!

Rowdy and I had ties that bound us together, it was just proving more difficult than I thought to unwind them and tie them back up into a pretty bow. – Salem

Just like all of the other Marked Men, Rowdy had a tough past.  His mother was murdered, which forced him into the foster system.  He eventually ended up with a family that lived next door to the Cruz sisters.  They helped him find his way in life and gave him memories he could smile about.  BUT they both ended up breaking him in the end.  And now one of them is forcing her way back into his life.  Salem has accepted a job at the new studio.  She was not the sister that Rowdy dated, but she’s back to show him that he made the wrong choice.  That it should have been her all along!

You were everything to me and then you were gone and I was lost all over again. – Rowdy

Rowdy has made a great life and “family” for himself.  But now with Salem back in town, all of his old fears are materializing.  He always felt as though he was never good enough for anyone to stick around.  His mother ‘left’ him when she was murdered, Salem left him to escape her overprotective father when she turned 18, and Salem’s sister, Poppy, left him too.  If he lets Salem back into his life, what’s not to say that she will leave him again?  And while he’s come a long way, underneath it all he is still a broken little boy.  He wouldn’t be able to handle being abandoned again.

I saw his eyes widen, watched them fill with recognition and trepidation. I couldn’t help but smile. Even though he looked less than thrilled to see me, everything about seeing him made me happy, and I knew, just knew I had made the right choice. – Salem

It’s impossible not to like Salem.  She was sassy, strong and knew what she wanted in life, and that was Rowdy!  But she’s insecure at the same time.  Not only about the relationship that Rowdy had with her sister, but anytime life got too hard, she would pick up and run.  Unfortunately, her mind ends up becoming her own worst enemy wondering if she could even compete with the past and her sister.  But you know what?  I got it!  It made sense.  I think that’s one of the things I loved the most about Rowdy and Salem’s story.  They were so easy to understand.  Their thoughts and actions were not only relatable but completely believable.  And it made me love them that much more!

Salem and Rowdy’s journey was sweet!  Watching them push each other out of their comfort zones was hot.  And when they would re-live their history, their memories and stories were adorable.  And through it all, all of the other Marked Men and the women we love are constantly thrown into the mix.  Shaw’s news, while not surprising, had me elated, I loved watching Cora grill Salem, and seeing a huge event occur between Ayden and Asa was the icing on the cake. I can’t wait to see how all of their lives will be tied up in hopefully a pretty bow in Asa’s story, since it is the last in the series.

Reading Order & Links:
Amazon (click on covers), iBooks (click on titles) & Book Depository (click on book #)
***Each book can be read as a standalone, but best enjoyed in order.***
Rule by Jay Crownover
Rule #1
Reviews:
Jen
jet jay crownover
Jet #2
Reviews:
Jen
rome jay crownover
Rome #3
Reviews:

Jen
nash jay crownover
Nash #4
Reviews:
Jen
Rowdy by Jay Crownover
Rowdy #5
Reviews:
Jen
asa jay crownover
Asa #6
Reviews:
Jen

BOOK REVIEW – Nash (Marked Men #4) by Jay Crownover

BOOK REVIEW – Nash (Marked Men #4) by Jay CrownoverNash (Marked Men #4)
by Jay Crownover
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

Saint Ford has worked hard to achieve her childhood dream of becoming of nurse. Focused on her work and devoted to her patients, there’s no room for love. She doesn’t need a guy making waves in her calm, serene life—especially when he’s the unforgettable hottie who nearly destroyed her in high school. Dark, brooding Nash Donovan might not remember her or the terrible pain he caused. But he turned her world upside down . . . and now he’s trying to do it again.

Saint has no idea that Nash isn’t the cocky player he once was. Uncovering a devastating family secret has rocked his world, and now he’s struggling to figure out his future. He can’t be distracted by the pretty nurse he seems to meet everywhere. Still, he can’t ignore the sparks that fly between them—or how she seems so desperate to get away from him. But the funny, sweet, and drop-dead gorgeous Saint is far too amazing to give up on—especially since she’s the only thing in his life that seems to make sense.

When Nash discovers the truth about their past, he realizes he may have lost her heart before he could even fight for it. Now, Saint has to decide: is Nash worth risking herself for all over again?

Review:

It’ so easy to take pleasure in each of the Marked Men’s stories!  They are fun and always have some grit to them.  I don’t realize how attached I’ve become to the characters until their world falls apart beneath their feet.  Here I am flipping through the pages, enjoying how the storyline is proceeding, and then BAM something happens that is so deep, so emotional, that it’s impossible not to cry or feel ripped apart.  I do wish that I felt those stronger emotions throughout the rest of the book.  But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I was so excited to read Nash’s story.  But wow, I struggled connecting with Saint.  She was just…well keep reading and you’ll see why she wasn’t my favorite.

She was beautiful, breathtaking, and she absolutely despised me. – Nash

Nash just learned that the man who truly loved and helped raise him has cancer, and it’s terminal.  While dealing with Phil’s prognosis and his evil mother drama (she’s the devil btw, seriously) he is struggling to emotionally stay afloat.  But through it all, Saint Ford keeps appearing in his life.  Saint is not only a nurse at the hospital, but she went to high school with Nash.  She was shy, chubby and had a huge crush on him.  After having her heart and confidence ripped to shreds by Nash, can she really let him back in when he so desperately needs her?

“What’s right for me isn’t what’s right for you because I’m an actual human being with feelings and emotions, and you, Mom . . . you’re a goddamn monster.” – Nash

I’ve always loved Nash.  Out of that crazy, dramatic group of friends, Nash was the good guy!  He was the sexy, mellow, level-headed one.  And being inside his head made me fall for him even harder.  While I prefer bad boys, Nash and his tortured soul kept sucking me in!  He was sexy, broken, hurt and jaded from his past because of his evil mother.  But that didn’t affect what a beautiful person he became.  Because Nash is patient, kind, loving, loyal and he MADE this book for me!

“I don’t know that you would like me once you got to know me, and the Nash I thought I knew . . .” She looked so lost all I wanted to do was give her a hug. “I hated him, but you . . . this Nash . . . all I do is want him.” – Saint

Saint isn’t the typical type of girl that I can connect with.  She’s shy, quiet and struggles speaking her mind at times.  And while I tried my hardest to give her a chance, she definitely tried my patience!  I have a lot of leeway and understanding when it comes to characters having their hang ups and issues.  We all make mistakes, I’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff over the years, and I know that I can be more forgiving than I probably should be with characters.  But this girl just drove me insane at times!  She would flip like a light switch and I just wanted to smack some sense into her.  Especially during the couch part……that was just, wow….shocking, frustrating, maddening and CRAZY!!!  Who in the world does that, really?!?!  I’m still in shock!  But of course there is a but!  She questioned her own sanity, and I was so thankful that she wasn’t clueless to her actions.  I liked how she made me laugh, how she cared for Nash and tried to have his best interests at heart. Unfortunately the positives did not outweigh her negatives.

“Why are you so certain I’m going to hurt you? That I’m going to fuck up and disappoint you?”
She gave me a lopsided smile and she worked her hands under the collar of my shirt so she could stroke the base of my neck.
“Because it’s bound to happen, but I really want to enjoy what we have before then.” – Saint

Nash’s story was adorable and frustrating.  While I wish he would have had a different love interest, I still enjoyed his story.  It was fun to watch another one of the guys find their way and sort out their past.  I love this group of Marked Men.  I love how these stories always involve their deep friendships!  That we get to watch them help one other throughout each book!  And that I get to continue to see Rule from time to time, gah I love him!!  Now I’m off to read Rowdy’s story but I have to say that I LOVED the scenes that involved either Asa and Royal.  They haven’t met yet, but they are both so intoxicating that I can’t wait for their story!!

Reading Order & Links:
Amazon (click on covers), iBooks (click on titles) & Book Depository (click on book #)
***Each book can be read as a standalone, but best enjoyed in order.***
Rule by Jay Crownover
Rule #1
Reviews:
Jen
jet jay crownover
Jet #2
Reviews:
Jen
rome jay crownover
Rome #3
Reviews:

Jen
nash jay crownover
Nash #4
Reviews:
Jen
Rowdy by Jay Crownover
Rowdy #5
Reviews:
Jen
asa jay crownover
Asa #6
Reviews:
Jen

BOOK REVIEW – Dark Triumph (His Fair Assassin #2) by Robin Lafevers

BOOK REVIEW – Dark Triumph (His Fair Assassin #2) by Robin LafeversDark Triumph (His Fair Assassin #2)
by Robin LaFevers
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

When Sybella arrived at the doorstep of St Mortain half mad with grief and despair the convent were only too happy to offer her refuge - but at a price. The sisters of this convent serve Death, and with Sybella naturally skilled in both the arts of death and seduction, she could become one of their most dangerous weapons.

But her assassin's skills are little comfort when the convent returns her to the life that nearly drove her mad. Her father's rage and brutality are terrifying, and her brother's love is equally monstrous. But when Sybella discovers an unexpected ally she discovers that a daughter of Death may find something other than vengeance to live for...

There’s a fangirling Gremlins in me who’s lurking to spread his love. Picture the mohawk one ← Always been my favorite. You’ve been warned.

Possible side effects :
– Irrepressible squeals (Yes. Like fucking mice. You got it)
– Overuse of the words love/like/enjoy/swoon/…
– I’ll stop here otherwise I’ll scare you away if that’s not already too late anyway

“There is a wild, frantic energy in this part of town that fits my mood perfectly. I raise my head and dare any of the dangers lurking in the shadows to try to match its skill against mine.”

Why all this love, you’re asking?

A fast-paced plot. Forget the tedious wanderings of Grave Mercy and get ready : the story here starts on page one. Indeed I was hooked from the beginning, enthralled in Sybella’s life like I never was in Ismae’s. Her ultimate goal? To protect Anne de Bretagne from the multiple dangers that threaten her, first of all the Count of Albret, wicked and twisted as always. In the city of Nantes which has been previously taken by him, Sybella must use all her training skills, sometimes at her own expense. Nothing is more blissful than revenge, but she had yet to succeed without losing herself.

This book was dark, oh so dark at times. As it is, I must warn you here that the story deals with difficult issues, including sexual violence and incest, and several kind of abuse.

“But it is no holy light, simply me, whole and unafraid of who and what I am, eager to do the work I was born to do”.

A real assassin as a heroine. As you can guess, I was able to care about Sybella because she’s everything but perfect, and much more than our average female lead. To be frank, I kind of want to throw adjectives and call it a day : flawed, multi-layered, sarcastic, loyal, smart, fierce, tortured, and straight-on awesome. Not to mention,  deadly (I KNOW! An assassin who actually KILLS! Often!). But it wouldn’t do her justice, would it? Sigh.

“Someone is happy this morning,” he smirks.
“Someone is eager to feel the kiss of cold steel before he’s even broken his fast.”

Since her childhood, Sybella had to rely on herself to survive, and as it was, the choice she was given didn’t always let her the opportunity to be in harmony with herself. She’s no innocent, and she knows it. Does she regret some decisions? Yes, she does. Has she doubts? Oh, many. Does she whine or let her doubts eating at her? Never. On the contrary, she knows where lie her strengths and how to use them to fulfill her quest – yet she is seeking approval and the growth of her character was fascinating to follow, realistic and gradual as it was.

An ugly and fascinating love-interest partner in crime. What can I say about Beast, except that he’s everything you don’t expect from a male-lead? Well, just that. ← By Mortain, I want more men like him in my books.

“What in the names of the Nine Saints was that? Throwing your sword? Is that some special trick of Saint Camulos?”
He grins, and I am startled by how feral he looks, all gleaming white teeth and pale eyes in a blood-splattered face. Indeed, I do not believe he is quite human in that moment. “It slowed him down, didn’t it?”

God I love him. Did I say that?

Peril and feeeeeels. Remember how Grave Mercy let me numb? Don’t worry, Dark Triumph is nothing like his eldest. Indeed whereas Ismae’s book dragged on the underwhelming side, nothing could have prepared me for the kaleidoscope of emotions I felt while following Sybella and Beast in their battles. Betrayal. Anger. Hope. Despair. Acceptance. Hate. Love.

A gradual, very light romance, which never overtakes the plot. Anyway, you just can’t help but root for them, because to see the growth of their relationship makes you remember why it’s sometimes fucking great to insert a bit of romance in a book.

“I glance up at Beast’s face, which is contorted with – horror? Despair? I cannot guess what he is thinking or feeling. He looks down at his enormous, scarred hands. “How you must hate us all,” he said.”

Nowadays, it’s more and more difficult to find a romance which can warm our heart without making us rage because sexism, control, stalkers. Beast and Sybella’s story is one of them, and because it’s believable, smile-inducing and adorable, it reminds me if needed why I’m a sucker for a good romance in the first place.

Now, love is not blind people. Although I’m willing to give it 5 stars still, I have to admit that this book isn’t flawless.

Historical inaccuracies, here we go. The truth is, if I’m completely aware that it’s a work of fiction, I fail to understand why authors keep choosing well-known individuals as characters if they don’t respect the historical facts. Now, the book was really good so I chose to blind myself but come on. Please don’t underestimate readers.

Lack of details in the settings : I don’t know if I’m more aware of it because I know the cities and the landscapes where the story takes place here, but I was slighly disappointed by the (lack of) description of the background. Indeed I would have loved to see Morlaix, Nantes, and the Breton country, and it sadly wasn’t the case. Not enough, anyway.

► Can you believe it? I can’t blame this book for anything else. This was just fucking awesome, that’s all.

BOOK REVIEW – Dangerous Boys by Abigail Haas

BOOK REVIEW – Dangerous Boys by Abigail HaasDangerous Boys by Abigail Haas
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

Three teens venture into the abandoned Monroe estate one night; hours later, only two emerge from the burning wreckage. Chloe drags one Reznick brother to safety, unconscious and bleeding; the other is left to burn, dead in the fire. But which brother survives? And is his death a tragic accident? Desperate self-defense? Or murder?

Chloe is the only one with the answers. As the fire rages, and police and parents demand the truth, she struggles to piece together the story of how they got there-a story of jealousy, twisted passion, and the darkness that lurks behind even the most beautiful of faces…

DISPATCH : Nine one one, what’s your emergency?

CALLER : Please, I… I think – I think I have to review this and –

DISPATCH : OK, we’ll send help. Just calm down, and tell me where you are.

CALLER : I don’t fucking know! I mean, yes, it was unputdownable and gritty as hell but in a good way, you know? All these emotions we fought every once in a while, discarding them because bad, bad, bad us to think such things, see? Abigail Haas magnifies them, showing her special talent for unraveling all the layers of pretending. Take these characters. I hated them. Each and every one of them at some point. But God, do I love them still! Because –

DISPATCH : Where are you, honey? What happened?

CALLER : Ugh. I was talking there so – what was I saying – oh, yes. Despite all theirs flaws and the moments I wanted to 1)slap them, 2)shake them, 3)make a face at them, 4)call the cops, and fucking run – the truth is, they are the kind of characters I want to see more often in my books. I crave for them. Why? Because I’m a psychopath? Come on, don’t be silly. No – In my opinion, what makes them so captivating is their unpredictability and above that, their complexity, because even if I can’t relate to any of them, yet I can find shattered fragments of myself in every one of them. Don’t lie : that’s probably the same for you.

DISPATCH : I’m sending an ambulance now. Tell me what happened, where is he hurt?

(Silence)

“From the moment you’re born, people start folding you into neat pieces and tucking you inside a box of their own design. (…)
That box becomes so cozy and warm, you never really notice that you’re bent double, fighting for room to breathe.”

DISPATCH : Honey? Are you there? Talk to me.

CALLER : (whisper) I can’t say anything. Look – I know many readers prefered Dangerous Girls and although I can understand why, it remains that these two books are different on so many levels that I can’t bring myself to compare them. Are you looking for a mindfuck? In that case, you may be disappointed, as some clues appear to be easy to grasp. Do you want to wander into the human mind, in the inner darkness everyone hides? You’ve got your book, then.

► Pick your choice.

“Stop pretending. Stop hiding. Stop being the girl they all said you should be.
Imagine that freedom. God, can’t you feel it?
What harm could it do?”

BR with my fantastic partner in crime, Chelsea

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