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My first thought was..
I’m guna hate you book.
Then I read some more.
I’m not guna hate you book.
I’m guna love you book
Well, here it is. This moment is huge. This will mark A) my favorite Colleen Hoover book to date and B) My first absolutely without-a-doubt 5 star rating for one of her stories. This is by far the most nervous I’ve been going into a CoHo book and undoubtedly the most controversial story and writing style by her ever….and whadya know-I loved it. I’ve always had this quirky side to me that goes along the path less traveled by and more often than not, this off the wall style of mine shines through the most when reading Hoover’s works. Everyone tends to call Hoover their ‘go-to author’ or the author they don’t believe can ever write a bad book or they believe she writes beautiful stories with heart-wrenching messages that teach us something about ourselves-well, not me. I haven’t loved any one of her books like everyone else does. They are good, sure. But they don’t move me. They never have. But with Ugly? I adored it. I don’t know if it was because it wasn’t trying to be so perfect or if it’s because of the amazing, broken Miles, but this one worked for me where her others didn’t.
A kiss is so much easier than what we’re doing. When you kiss, you can close your eyes. You can kiss away the thoughts. You can kiss away the pain, the doubt, the shame. When you close your eyes and kiss, you protect yourself from the vulnerability.
This isn’t us protecting ourselves.
Miles. Miles Miles Miles. Miles was this story. Miles is this story. I adored Miles. From his quiet persona to his broken past I l-o-v-e-d him. He wasn’t your typical moody, broody lead, he didn’t promise Tate a future, he was completely up front about the fact he could never love Tate, and he made so many mistakes I can’t even count. Or did he? I think he got a little victimized because he clearly, clearly was falling for Tate early on, but yet wouldn’t admit he loved her and continued to treat them as a casual thing…but he was very up front about that from day one and never deterred. But day after day his barrier would crack-he was never not kind and he always treated her so sweetly…but then she’d say something or look at him with love in her eyes as if he was the world, then the clouded look in his eyes and his icy persona would resurface and he would close down again into that quiet, impenetrable and unreadable Miles…The Miles I fell in love with.
It’s as if pieces of the guy he used to be bleed over into the guy he’s trying to be.
Tate. Sorry-but I loved her. That’s not a popular opinion, but it doesn’t make it any less true for me. I think that many people viewed her as a doormat, but in so many ways, from when she first meets Miles to their first kiss, I see so much of myself in her. So many phrases and thoughts and admissions go through her head that are quite familiar to me and my justification of things. In one moment, I felt so like her it was uncanny: I wad it up in my hands and throw it toward the kitchen, completely pissed off. I’m pissed because I already know I’ll be going with him. I don’t know how not to. I LOVED this quote/moment because it felt like one I’ve lived through numerous times. It happens. We fall for people that don’t want the same things as us and I found that relatable too. Way too relatable. The only thing Tate is guilty of is being a little naive and falling for someone forbidden to her way of life-it’s common, it’s tough, and it’s extremely hard to get past. So, all in all? I loved Tate. She was as strong as she could be and, sure, she had some corny inner monologue at times, but it never bothered me. She was flawed, just like Miles, and she made mistakes (just like the rest of us), just like Miles.
I love being with him but hate myself more and more with each new lie that passes my lips.
More than just the characters, though-It was HOT. It was SEXY. It was STEAMY. I could. Not. Get. Enough. of the sex and the intimate moments Tate and Miles shared. Every kiss effected me, every stolen moment was tantalizing. One thing I have always been able to give Hoover credit for were her steamy scenes-but, and this is a HUGE but, this is by far her hottest, most intense sex-filled book to date and it reached me deeper than any of her other works have. I could feel each sexual encounter to the bottom of my core and when I put the book down it was all I thought about-this book may have centered quite a bit around the physical aspects of their relationship, but it also viewed the subtle moments where they were connecting on a deeper emotional level and finding themselves falling for one another during every day activities-and it worked. I never once rolled my eyes and I still found myself daydreaming about Miles all day while I attempted to work.
It’s a race.
It’s Miles and me against everything else.
Were racing our consciences, our pride, our respect, the truth. He’s trying to get inside me before any of the rest of that stuff catches up to us.
As soon as he’s back on the bed, he’s over me, against me, then inside me.
There are so many things I want to say about this story, but I think I’ll start with the writing. So many people disliked the writing in this one and I can see where people might feel the flow was fractured by the choppy sentencing and poetic style of paragraphs, but hasn’t Hoover always had an odd way of presenting her stories to us? In fact, one of the reasons I’ve NEVER liked her writing all that much is because of the focus on songs and poems and various other forms of art….but in this one? I don’t know, it kind of went with the story and what was going on. It helped drag us through what was in the past and what was in the present. It was clear to me, as a reader, that when I got to Miles’ chapters, they were going to be in the past and it was going to be written differently. I actually started to enjoy it-it’s like it helped differentiate what was happening and what had already happened-there was no room to mistake we were in Mile’s troubled past, and I liked that distinction. But I do get why people didn’t quite respond to it.
He tightens his grip on my neck…and then he kills me.
Or he kisses me. I can’t tell which, since I’m pretty sure they would feel the same. His lips against mine feel like everything. Like living and dying and being reborn, all at the same time.
Good Lord. He’s kissing me.
One of the other problems people had was the lack of side story (Love you, Tris)-But, see, I loved that. I loved that it focused on these two. Maybe that’s why I didn’t like her other books as much-maybe for Hoover and I to work, that overly dramatic main story and extra (also) overly dramatic side story need to take a seat in the back…because nine times out of ten, they make me cringe. It’s just too much. So, when I realized there wasn’t an extra load of drama on the side, I got really excited. Apparently, when it comes to CoHo’s writing, less is more, and this story delivered-there wasn’t near as much drama and there was just the right amount of angst….and I can’t stop thinking about it.
…I have no idea how I manage to concentrate, because the only thing I can think about is the look that crossed Mile’s face right before he closed the door. I could tell I hurt him.
That makes us even now, I guess.
The one and only thing that annoyed me was Rachel. I can’t say why. I can’t say how. But at a certain point in the story, she royally pissed me off. Thank GOD it didn’t sway my love for the book…but it was close. If you want to know why, it’s in the spoiler-(view spoiler)[-There is a certain chapter that switches to her POV near the end of the story. It not only pissed me off, it disgusted me. She blame(ed)s Miles FOR EVERYTHING. She is the reason he is so broken. She is the reason he won’t let love in. She is the reason he cries and feels so alone-she ruined him. She destroyed him. (hide spoiler)] And it makes me hurt. Makes me hurt FOR him. So, when I had to read (view spoiler)[a chapter about her forgiveness, it made me see red. (hide spoiler)] That’s all I will say about THAT.
I love the way he groans when our bodies join together. Guys usually tend to hold back their sounds more than girls do.
Not Miles. Miles wants me, and he wants me to know it, and I love that.
God, I love that.
So….I’m pleased to say I am the black sheep on this one (not at all surprising these days, it seems). I loved this book that is wholly controversial. I loved that Miles was a jealous, possessive, closed off ass. I loved Tate with her fragile heart and their stolen moments. I loved it all. So, if one singular plot is enough for you, if you don’t mind a completely crazy way of writing, if you can keep an open mind long enough to fall for the beautiful, fractured Miles, then give this one a shot-you will NOT regret it.