by Chloe Neill
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…he stroked my jawline with his thumb. “You can run. You can keep running to the ends of the earth. But I won’t be far behind you.”
Oh. My. God. Really?? Reeeeaallyyy?? Ugh, that was a low blow. It’s not that I didn’t think this would inevitably happen in one of these books, it’s more that I didn’t expect it to happen so early. It was epic, amazing….unexpected. It was everything I’ve wanted from my latest obsession (cough, Ethan, cough), but everything that could bring my world crashing to the ground in a burning heap of perished dreams.
It’s been a few days since I finished this book, so the emotions I felt upon finishing in my sleep-deprived state have long since vanished, leaving only a hollow, dull ache where my heart should be. I asked for the peril, I asked for something wicked and jaw-dropping to happen, and it did. Go figure-an author actually did what I asked, but made it better. Not often do my evil wishes get granted, but it seems that when they do, they are granted full-force, causing me to lose my breath in what can only be an indignant, albeit shocked, gasp.
This world has captured me-stolen my heart and made it impossible to breathe without one of the installments firmly within my grasp. Even as I read an absolute favorite of mine, I felt my thoughts swirling together and convoluting what was happening within each novel-that’s a feat I don’t take lightly.
I’m sorry, guys, but Ethan has shown his true colors. He is just….perfection. I adore this hulking man-vamp. He made a fatal error in the last book (Okay, actually, he made a devastating mistake, let’s change that last phrase in light of recent events) and he is truly trying his hardest to make up for it. It was precious, sweet…..not words that I suppose generally apply to vampires, much less God damn Ethan Sullivan, but he’s trying. Maybe he is still that up-tight, pretentious boss that all of Cadogan House love to make fun of, but he’s becoming more human each and every day-he’s saying things that make my heart melt into a puddle of goo and he’s making proclamations that can only be described as someone who has fallen madly in love….and it’s all because of Merit.
“No. I will never be far behind you.” He tipped up my chin so that I could do nothing else but look back into his eyes. “Do the things you need to do. Learn to be a vampire, to be a warrior, to be the soldier you are capable of being. But consider the possibility that I made a mistake I regret-and that I’ll continue to regret that mistake and try to convince you to give me another chance until the earth stops turning.”
Merit, still nursing her wounds from the saddening events from the previous novel, is stubborn and fierce as ever. She’s a force to be reckoned with and is strengthening herself so she can protect the house and it’s master under any and all circumstances. I understand her heart is broken, oh my god, do I get it…..but poor, poor Ethan. He really did screw up, that’s for sure. A job before a girl you think you love?? Not fair-but, again, he did what he thought was best for the house, and, even though he still loves Cadogan House, he realizes there’s something about companionship , and let’s face it, Merit, he can’t live without. He’s lived centuries without love or someone to laugh and/or relax with, and in comes Merit breaking his carefully sculpted mold. It’s understandable, to me, that he was nervous of what he might do to protect the girl he loves so he made what he thought was a smart decision, a decision that he regrets every day.
My stomach growled at the smells; there was only so much blocking that a vampire could do. I silently promised myself a deep-fried candy bar and a paper tray of bacon-wrapped Tator Tots if I made it through the night unscathed. Not a good nutritional combo, but I figured the odds were low anyway.
The thing is, I love Merit. She really never does wrong in my eyes-selfless, fierce, loyal, loves with all her heart even as she has her guard up-what’s not to like?? So I didn’t roll my eyes when she ignored his advances and I didn’t get mad when she didn’t just take him back-she’s a great character. But, there’s so much more to it than that. In this book, because they aren’t physically involved (technicality), they have connected on a much deeper, more visceral level. It’s hard to say that she doesn’t see or feel that. I just hope…well, what the fuck? What does it matter what I hope-if wishes were fishes, we’d all throw nets, right?
I can’t say what I hope or wish or feel, because it would spoil what is. But, I refuse to believe it, so I guess you all need to read to see if you believe or not, that this is real. No way. I guess that’s why I’m just sitting back, tapping my fingers on my desk, pondering, waiting for the inevitable prestige…if you get what I’m sayin’.
Oh. My. GOD. That. ending…..it destroyed me.
I’ll write a review when I can but….ooooooh the feels.
♥Ethan-I LOVE YOU.