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BOOK REVIEW – The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

BOOK REVIEW – The Scorpio Races by Maggie StiefvaterThe Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

It happens at the start of every November: the Scorpio Races. Riders attempt to keep hold of their water horses long enough to make it to the finish line. Some riders live. Others die.

At age nineteen, Sean Kendrick is the returning champion. He is a young man of few words, and if he has any fears, he keeps them buried deep, where no one else can see them.

Puck Connolly is different. She never meant to ride in the Scorpio Races. But fate hasn’t given her much of a chance. So she enters the competition — the first girl ever to do so. She is in no way prepared for what is going to happen.

I reckon the reasons for which The Scorpio Races weaved itself throughout my beloved favorites could cause an opposite reaction to other readers. Do I care, though? No, because every slow-paced page, every heartfelt and beautiful sentence, every haunting and atmospheric landscape, every inch of Sean’s bloody-stained jacket and killer horse reminds me that if nothing else, The Scorpio Races has a soul, and I’m consumed by it.

“I am here on firm ground, but part of me is already down on the beach, and my own blood is singing I’m so, so alive

Sigh. I’ve been trying to put my thoughts into words for hours now, but it seems that The Scorpio Races joined the very exclusive club of the novels which mute my abilities to express myself. Puck and Sean’s story is burned into my brain, though, twisting my perception of the reality around me, Thisby’s landscapes forever ingrained in me. That’s why I cannot, I will not leave this space blank and no matter how impossible it seems at this time, I’ll try to do this wonderful book justice. Sorry in advance if I don’t succeed.

“Outside, the wind is a live, starving thing. The sky over Skarmouth is a dull brown, lit by the streetlights, but everywhere else is inky.”

■ If you’re – even a little – accustomed to Maggie Stiefvater‘s books, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the writing is nothing short of spectacular : compelling and beautiful, warming your heart a second and breaking it the next. How could I complain about the slow-pacing if I thought it was perfect for the story? I’ll tell you, I can’t. Is it subjective? Sure it is, and I understand the readers who were bored out of their minds. Yet I wasn’t. Never at any moment.

“Why aren’t you going?”
The question infuriates me. I demand, “Why is it that going away is the standard? Does anyone ask you why you stay, Sean Kendrick?”
“They do.”
“And why do you?”
“The sky and the sand and the sea and Corr.”

■ I genuinely think that your ability to enjoy – to love – the plot depends on your expectations. Does The Scorpio Races revolve around the sea killer horses and the race taking place every year on Thisby’s beach? Sure, but if you think that’s all it is about, you will be disappointed. Many readers pointed it, and they’re right : the race doesn’t start until the very end, and is only an excuse to deal with the real issues in my opinion.

What issues?

The raw and frightening feelings one can experience when not sure if he – she – belongs somewhere. Through Sean, Puck, Gabe, Finn’s eyes, we witness different ways to answer the difficult question of who they really are and what they need to do to find happiness. Is it staying, whatever it takes? Is it leaving? Is compromising themselves okay to reach their goals? As much as I personally find that the “coming-of-age” label is often misleading, in The Scorpio Races it rises to a whole new level. I couldn’t be indifferent to their struggles, because as strange as it might be (given the fantasy elements) they felt real and heartbreaking and oh so moving. Beware of the harshness, though : many parts are – really – difficult to handle, especially because it contains cruelty toward animals.

■ As usual Maggie Stiefvater nailed her characterization. If I sure didn’t agree with every decision they took, none of her characters felt wasted and all of them provoked contradictory feelings in me. Honestly, they’re just so freaking amazing : well rounded-up, fleshed-out, and a little heartbreaking. Sean, in particular, made it impossible for me to not love him almost instantly : his wildness, his loyalty to Corr, his sea horse, his intensity – that boy didn’t need to talk for me to be lost forever.

“All I know is that Sean Kendrick rode that bay mare and waited until he was nearly over the cliff edge before saving himself, and that the dead speak more than he does.”

The Scorpio Races changed me, somehow, even if I can’t pinpoint in what way so far, and this story will linger for a very long time in my heart. Now, tell me, what better compliment could I give it? None.

FRIDAY STARS – Your Weekly Must Knows 04/15/16

FRIDAY STARS – Your Weekly Must Knows 04/15/16

On Fridays, we take a look at what has happened around here in the last week, what’s coming up that we are excited about and anything else that we may have to share!
♥ Enjoy!

Life:

I have officially joined the club of being a sports mom!  My oldest had his first game of t-ball this week, and………..I’m beyond clueless.  While my husband played baseball, and other sports, from the age of 5 until he graduated high school, I never played any organized sports.  At all.  I spent my summers camping and wakeboarding and my winters snowboarding.  So it feels like I’ve stepped into a whole new world.  Not only did I teach my son to run the wrong way for when we were practicing baseball in our backyard these last few months……I didn’t know 1st base was on the right and not the left lol.  But the whole scheduling dinner at weird hours is little funky to get use to too.  But in these last few weeks of practices and a game under our belt, I love how much fun my son is having!  And my husband too, since he gets to volunteer and be out there with the kids.  My heart always feels all warm and fuzzy when we are walking off the field, especially since they don’t keep scores and everyone gets a turn at the age of 5.  It has been a great experience so far, and now I feel ready to tackle all of the other sports he wants to try!  Am I alone in my cluelessness of organized sports?  Or did you play sports or have kids that play sports in school?

 

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Just Finished and Loved:

Glitterland (Glitterland #1) by Alexis Hall
5 Stars!  If I cannot, and will never really understand what depression is, not because of a lack of empathy, but because witnessing it doesn’t mean understanding it, even if you want to, rare are the times when I read a book that captures the core of it and manages to make me approach understanding. Glitterland is one of these books. That heartbreaking, beautiful book.  I will cherish it forever.
Anna’s Review
Once the golden boy of the English literary scene, now a clinically depressed writer of pulp crime fiction, Ash Winters has given up on love, hope, happiness, and — most of all — himself. He lives his life between the cycles of his illness, haunted by the ghosts of other people’s expectations.  Then a chance encounter at a stag party throws him into the arms of Essex boy Darian Taylor, an aspiring model who lives in a world of hair gel, fake tans, and fashion shows. By his own admission, Darian isn’t the crispest lettuce in the fridge, but he cooks a mean cottage pie and makes Ash laugh, reminding him of what it’s like to step beyond the boundaries of anxiety.  But Ash has been living in his own shadow for so long that he can’t see past the glitter to the light. Can a man who doesn’t trust himself ever trust in happiness? And how can a man who doesn’t believe in happiness ever fight for his own?

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Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1) by Leigh Bardugo
5 Stars!
 I am here to tell you that it is worth Every. Bit. Of the hype.
Chelsea’s Review
Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price–and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith. A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes. Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

 
 
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4.5 Stars:
The Rose Society (The Young Elites #2) by Marie Lu Anna’s Review
 

3 Stars:

Eversea (Eversea #1) by Natasha Boyd Chelsea’s Review
 
2 Stars:
Emerge (Mer Chronicles #1) by Tobie Easton Jen’s Review
 
We also had a Top Ten Tuesday post about Books Every YA Fantasy Lover Should Read. If you missed it, check it out here.

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Reading Next:

I’ll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios – If seventeen-year-old Skylar Evans were a typical Creek View girl, her future would involve a double-wide trailer, a baby on her hip, and the graveyard shift at Taco Bell. But after graduation, the only thing standing between straightedge Skylar and art school are three minimum-wage months of summer. Skylar can taste the freedom—that is, until her mother loses her job and everything starts coming apart. Torn between her dreams and the people she loves, Skylar realizes everything she’s ever worked for is on the line.  Nineteen-year-old Josh Mitchell had a different ticket out of Creek View: the Marines. But after his leg is blown off in Afghanistan, he returns home, a shell of the cocksure boy he used to be. What brings Skylar and Josh together is working at the Paradise—a quirky motel off California’s dusty Highway 99. Despite their differences, their shared isolation turns into an unexpected friendship and soon, something deeper.

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The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater – Some race to win. Others race to survive.  It happens at the start of every November: the Scorpio Races. Riders attempt to keep hold of their water horses long enough to make it to the finish line.  Some riders live.
Others die.  At age nineteen, Sean Kendrick is the returning champion. He is a young man of few words, and if he has any fears, he keeps them buried deep, where no one else can see them.  Puck Connolly is different. She never meant to ride in the Scorpio Races. But fate hasn’t given her much of a choice. So she enters the competition – the first girl ever to do so. She is in no way prepared for what is going to happen.  As she did in her bestselling Shiver trilogy, author Maggie Stiefvater takes us to the breaking point, where both love and life meet their greatest obstacles, and only the strong of heart can survive. The Scorpio Races is an unforgettable reading experience.

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A Darker Shade of Magic (Shades of Magic #1) by V.E. Schwab -Kell is one of the last Travelers—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel universes—as such, he can choose where he lands.  There’s Grey London, dirty and boring, without any magic, ruled by a mad King George. Then there’s Red London, where life and magic are revered, and the Maresh Dynasty presides over a flourishing empire. White London, ruled by whoever has murdered their way to the throne—a place where people fight to control magic, and the magic fights back, draining the city to its very bones. And once upon a time, there was Black London…but no one speaks of that now.Officially, Kell is the Red Traveler, personal ambassador and adopted Prince of Red London, carrying the monthly correspondences between the royals of each London. Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they’ll never see—a dangerous hobby, and one that has set him up for accidental treason. Fleeing into Grey London, Kell runs afoul of Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations, first robs him, then saves him from a dangerous enemy, and then forces him to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure.  But perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, Kell and Lila will first need to stay alive—and that is proving trickier than they hoped.

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Upcoming Releases:

There aren’t any books releasing in the next week that we are dying to read.  But we do have a huge list of books that we are counting down until they are released.  You can check them out here → Click Here

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Anna’s Review
   

The Rose Society (The Young Elites #2) by Marie Lu

The Rose Society (The Young Elites #2) by Marie LuThe Rose Society (The Young Elites #2)
by Marie Lu
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

Once upon a time, a girl had a father, a prince, a society of friends. Then they betrayed her, and she destroyed them all.

Adelina Amouteru’s heart has suffered at the hands of both family and friends, turning her down the bitter path of revenge. Now known and feared as the White Wolf, she flees Kenettra with her sister to find other Young Elites in the hopes of building her own army of allies. Her goal: to strike down the Inquisition Axis, the white-cloaked soldiers who nearly killed her.

But Adelina is no heroine. Her powers, fed only by fear and hate, have started to grow beyond her control. She does not trust her newfound Elite friends. Teren Santoro, leader of the Inquisition, wants her dead. And her former friends, Raffaele and the Dagger Society, want to stop her thirst for vengeance. Adelina struggles to cling to the good within her. But how can someone be good when her very existence depends on darkness?

Bestselling author Marie Lu delivers another heart-pounding adventure in this exhilarating sequel to The Young Elites.

What indeed.

 I AM SPEECHLESS. If there’s something I didn’t expect, it was to meet a female-lead who could equal Jorg of Ancrath‘s dark ambition.

Saying that I didn’t have great expectations before starting The Rose Society would be an understatement. Indeed I was part of the (very) few who weren’t convinced by The Young Elites, mostly because I felt that what I read wasn’t what I’ve been sold : I found the first installment boring, tame, in a word : disappointing. That’s why I’m glad to tell you that none of my complaints are still relevant.

The pacing improved grandly : This sequel is an exciting journey whose pacing never wavers, letting you on the edge of your seat all the way. Although Marie Lu chose to write her story in several POV (which can be a no-no for me, if not handled well), there was NEVER a moment when I wasn’t hooked and eager to know what would happen next. No more useless and boring parts : the story was highly compelling through and through.

What a formidable tale of ambition and revenge. Gah. Jorg would be so proud. While the first book only set the (needed, I realize) foundations of Adelina’s story, I didn’t care for the romance there (I know, I know, I’m such in a minority on this, but Enzo is flat in my opinion) View Spoiler » and her relationship with Enzo didn’t make much sense to me. Great news! The plot finally focuses on her ascension and no matter how painful some steps were (I sure don’t condone all her actions), the events taking place brought so many raw feelings that I can’t find in me to complain. Granted, the world-building is still a little sketchy, and there were inconsistencies in some parts, but Marie Lu managed to make them believable. (Please don’t make Magiano suffer too much, though) (I have a soft spot for LOVE this little thief)

➌ Truth is, what can be annoying is also great : this is my second book by Marie Lu, and I can safely say that I don’t get her – I can’t wrap my head around the direction she takes her stories, and it used to make me lose patience in The Young Elites, especially during the boring middle. But. Here it definitely played in her favor, because I could never predict what would happen (I still can’t). Also, the twists were brilliant. Of course I loved that (I’m worried, though) (I did read Emperor of Thorns, you know).

Adelina is a true villain in training : When my boyfriend asked me why I was so happy with Adelina and her Elites (why yes – clapping might have been involved at some point), I told him, “because they’re no good”. He raised his eyebrows (a little worried, I think), not sure of what to make of my answer (I swear, I’m a nice woman – most of the time). Really, though? I genuinely think that my fascination for unusual and darker characters lies in the large number of books I read. See, had I read 10 books in my whole life, hell, had I read 10 YA Fantasy series in my whole life, even, I would probably not seek this kind of characters out (or maybe – I’ll guess we’ll never know *smiles slowly*). But there’s only so many farmer boys soon-to-be heroes I can take, and in this ocean of one-dimensional super-villains whose goals are often vague as fuck, I thrive on meeting multi-layered and dark characters who twist the tropey rules and make their owns.

After The Young Elites, I didn’t think that Adelina had it in her to become the free female-lead I wanted her to be. I was wrong.

*cackles with glee*

Yes she threatens my boundaries and her decisions make my skin crawl sometimes, but I get her, I really do. I’m not sure what that says about me, though.

Give me some sarcastic and unapologetic male-lead, pretty please : I loved Magiano (I can’t be the only one who roots for him, RIGHT?). Where Enzo’s passion seemed too similar to Adelina’s for me to really care, Magiano adds something different to the story, and if I’m not sure I understand all his reactions yet, he is endearing, mischievous, and he makes me laugh.

[creepy interlude]

Let it be known that his smile brightened my day and that I would defend him like a wolf.

Do. Not. Touch. Magiano. OKAY?

[/creepy interlude]

➌ Every one of these characters – Sergio, Teren, Violetta, Maeve, Raphaele – are fleshed-out, complex, and interesting to follow. None of them is wasted or one-dimensional.

► I closed The Rose Society out of breath, worried as hell and intensely satisfied by the daring direction Marie Lu took. What a great surprise really.

BOOK REVIEW: Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1) by Leigh Bardugo

BOOK REVIEW: Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1) by Leigh BardugoSix of Crows (Six of Crows #1)
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can't pull it off alone...

A convict with a thirst for revenge.

A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager.

A runaway with a privileged past.

A spy known as the Wraith.

A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums.

A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.

Kaz's crew are the only ones who might stand between the world and destruction—if they don't kill each other first.

It became a declaration. There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken. The cane became a part of the myth he built. No one knew who he was. No one knew where he came from. He’d become Kaz Brekker, cripple and confidence man, bastard of the Barrel.

Sometimes enjoying life is as simple as loving something so hard that it makes everything in the world disappear: Your worries, your troubles, your horrible workday (yeah, that was today)…it all just vanishes from the moment you start doing what you love. For me?? That’s reading. Nothing clears my mind more than picking up a book. It’s best when it captures my soul-my very being-and doesn’t let it go until I choose to put it down. Nothing makes me happier, nicer, or more compliant than an excellent story. Days like today show me just how much reading is a crutch for me-even writing reviews. I had a horrid end of the day today….and here I am now, writing this review (and hanging out with my husband and two pups-my other crutch), and it’s like all is right in the world.

He grinned at her, his smile sudden and jarring as a thunderclap, his eyes the near-black of bitter coffee. “We’ll be kings and queens, Inej. Kings and queens.”
“Hmm,” she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin. Kaz was not a giddy boy smiling and making future plans with her. He was a dangerous player who was always working an angle. Always, she reminded herself firmly.

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But it’s not as simple as that-not really. Sure, we can pick up a book and like it and say, ‘Yeah, that was a good one. What’s next?’ But that’s just going through the motions. In that scenario I’m happy, complacent. I’m glad I spent my time reading but…once I put that book down it was simply over. Poof. Gone. Finite. Onto the next guy, story, victim, whatever. And just like that, that world ceases to exist-it vanishes the moment I shut down my iPad. Those books are great to pass time-they really are-but what’s the point of reading if you aren’t consumed, body and soul, by it?

“…You’re a blackmailer-“
“I broker information.”
“A con artist-“
“I create opportunity.”
“A bawd and a murderer-“
“I don’t run whores, and I kill for a cause.”
“And what cause is that?”
“Same as yours, merch. Profit.”

And I never even knew I was going through the motions with books. I loved them all and they all loved me. But then I found books like these-Rare gems that if you are so lucky as to find them, they are woven into every fiber of your being. You can’t eat, sleep, breathe, think if you aren’t near them. If you aren’t reading them, you are thinking about them and when you will get to immerse yourself in that world again, because you can’t stand knowing they exist in another realm while you are stuck in your own. These characters are your friends, they are the people you care about most-above all real things, for the time being-and you are just an utter and complete mess until you can find out what happens to them next.

Kaz leaned back. “What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?”
“Knife to the throat?” asked Inej.
“Gun to the back?” said Jesper.
“Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina.
“You’re all horrible,” said Matthias.

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If you hadn’t already guessed, this is that book, and I am here to tell you that it is worth Every. Bit. Of the hype. If you have read Bardugo’s Grisha trilogy, then you are no stranger to her writing and ability to create worlds that blow your mind. However…I think she more than outdid herself here. This world, these hard-edged characters that have the ability to melt the ice around your heart…they are unlike anything I’ve read by her before. And if you haven’t read anything by her, you’re none the wiser. But this is a terrible, terrible thing-You NEED to read her wonderful stories…but this book is my favorite of hers, by far.

“We enter from the north as planned,” Kaz said.
Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”
Brekker’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”
“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,” Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

Why, you ask?? Well, anyone that knows anything about the hype that surrounds this author’s work knows that she pulled some of the same parallels between her two series-I couldn’t explain the inner workings of the Grisha world back then when I read her first series, and I can’t even begin to now, but what we have here is so much more my speed (Even though, if you take the time to look, that series was a favorite, as well)…which comes as a complete shock to me.

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“Do you know the secret to gambling, Helvar?” Kaz brought his good foot down on the butt of the fallen soldier’s rifle. The gun flipped up. Kaz had it in his hands and pointed at Matthias in the space of a breath. He’d never been in any danger at all. “Cheat.”

Some people said this was slower-They wondered why it was so popular. And I can’t necessarily say why it worked for so many people-I can only say what worked for me, and it’s probably the simplest thing you could ever imagine: It’s not about blitz or glam or being more than it needed to be….it simply was. The writing was out of this world amazing. Indescribable. The characters were complex, fleshed out, and flawed. And the plot….it’s appeal was in its simplicity: 6 misfits trying to break into the most heavily secured prison in the world. Simple, right?? But it was done so wonderfully, so beautifully, so vividly…that it became so much more than that.

He’d even dubbed her the Wraith.
I don’t like it, she’d said. It makes me sound like a corpse.
A phantom,
he corrected.

Didn’t you say I was to be your spider? Why not stick with that?
Because there are plenty of spiders in the Barrel. Besides, you want your enemies to be afraid. Not think they can squash you with the toe of one boot.
My enemies?
Our enemies.

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Each character had something that made them twisted, something that made them the misfits that they were. Inej, the wraith. Nina, the Grisha. Matthias the former soldier, now a covict. Jesper, the Gambler. Wylan, the runaway….but they would be absolutely nobody without their cunning leader, and my personal favorite character-Kaz, the thief.

“You love trickery.”
“I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue.”

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And this, ladies and Gents, is where I lose my shit. Kaz, the cunning, the cruel, the wounded, the ruthless street lord dubbed ‘Dirtyhands.’ With a pronounced limp, an affliction for wearing gloves, and a phobia of being touched…Kaz is what we can call a flawed character. He isn’t nice. He isn’t forgiving. And he sure as shit doesn’t get one upped by anyone. The rumors run rampant about him, people know he isn’t to be trifled with…until someone takes it upon themselves to nab him off the street and strike a deal-Break into the most heavily guarded prison, bring the mark….and make it out alive. Death is almost a certainty-no one makes it out alive. But when 30 million kruge is put on the line….Dirtyhands can’t help but to accept.

Geels looked at Kaz as if he was finally seeing him for the first time. The boy he’d been talking to had been cocky, reckless, easily amused, but not frightening-not really. Now the monster was here, dead-eyed and unafraid. Kaz Brekker was gone, and Dirtyhands had come to see the rough work done.

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It’s dangerous, success unheard of, and, like I just said, death is imminent. But with Kaz’s gang, he knows they have a chance. These thieves, liars, gamblers, cheats, etc are in deep, one way or another, and a cut like what they are offered is enough to set them free. But at what price is the cost too high?

Maybe Matthias was wrong about the White Island. Maybe the shears would snap in Wylan’s hands. Maybe Inej would fail. Or Nina. Or Kaz.
Or me [Jesper]. Maybe I’ll fail.
Six people, but a thousand ways this insane plan could go wrong.

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I just…I adored Kaz. I mean, from the moment I opened the book I felt an instant connection-That much I can’t lie about…but when I first met Kaz??? My heart stuttered. My breath faltered. My eyes widened and became glued to the page. I knew, in that moment, that I was not going to have a want in the world. Dirty bastards are so far and few between, but even farther and fewer between is a dirty, conniving bastard that I can fall in love with. He is ruthless, hell bent on vengeance, unbeatable-No one gets over on him-and he is cruel when he needs to be. He had a rough past, something we get to see with multiple flashbacks (YOUNG KAZ EEEEEEEEPS!!!!), and it begins to form and shape the broken seventeen year old we see today. But throughout the story we begin to see his façade falter, his iron clad will crack, and his weaknesses emerge. But by far his largest weakness…is a young spy girl, Inej, he doesn’t even realize he has began to lean on.

“I don’t want your prayers,” he said.
“What do you want, then?”
The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie’s voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Inej. You.

The romances (YES, ROMANCES) in this story are heart-stopping, all consuming, and without a doubt some of the best fantasy romances I’ve come by in a long time (I have found quite a few this year, but just saying!). Do you know why??? The simplicity. The baser emotions. The guttural and raw and new-found (and some not so new) feelings that began to control many of their icy exteriors, slowly melting them from the inside out (Okay, okay, I really just mean Kaz, LOLZ)…well…as much as Kaz can melt.

Kaz had heard them, too. Brekker’s hands were stained with blood. Brekker’s hands were covered in scars. Brekker had claws and not fingers because he was part demon. Brekker’s touch burned like brimstone-a single brush of his bare skin caused your flesh to wither and die.
“Pick one,” Kaz said as he vanished into the night, thoughts already turning to thirty million kruge and the crew he’d need to help him get it. “They’re all true enough.”

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I don’t know. It was just…it was all so perfect. From the beginning to the end. From the first fucked up showdown to the final, resolute resolve of the next big job to come…these characters and their struggles, their lack of perfection chiseled their way into my heart. This author’s words struck a chord deep within me, making me a slave until the very last page….and for the last two days after I’ve finished this book. It still lingers in my head when I have a free moment, clouding my vision as I sit and stare at my work computer, wishing I could read just another page, find another hidden chapter…if only to escape for a little longer in a world where the beautiful, broken, limping, cane-reliant Kaz exists. I’d do just about anything to be in his head again…ahhh the torture. My poor, poor, broken boy. AGH. SO. MUCH. LOVE. I can’t even. Whoops.

******************

“Not just yet, Inej.”

I’m sorry. So very very sorry…

because I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOVED THIS BOOK, so now you all will have to suffer through another Chelsea fangirl pre-review, and then eventually review….because there is just SO. MUCH. FUCKING. WIN.

KAZ KAZ KAZ I fucking ADORE YOU and I obviously have a canal rat mouth because I CANNOT STOP cursing because I JUST LOVED YOU AND YOUR ASSHOLE-ISH AND CUNNING AND RUTHLESS WAYS-AND YOUR HIDDEN LOVE FOR INEJ-just TOO DAMN MUCH. And Inej-YOU LITTLE BADASS! I ADORE YOU, TOO!!!! I just…I can’t…..ah fuck it-

I. CAN’T. EVEN.

Seriously, I want to stop saying that, but what’s a girl to do when she just can’t even think of any words to describe her obsession.

There are none. Sorry…But not really.

RTC.

BOOK REVIEW – Glitterland (Glitterland, #1) by Alexis Hall

BOOK REVIEW – Glitterland (Glitterland, #1) by Alexis HallGlitterland (Glitterland #1)
by Alexis Hall
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

Once the golden boy of the English literary scene, now a clinically depressed writer of pulp crime fiction, Ash Winters has given up on love, hope, happiness, and—most of all—himself. He lives his life between the cycles of his illness, haunted by the ghosts of other people’s expectations.

Then a chance encounter at a stag party throws him into the arms of Essex boy Darian Taylor, an aspiring model who lives in a world of hair gel, fake tans, and fashion shows. By his own admission, Darian isn’t the crispest lettuce in the fridge, but he cooks a mean cottage pie and makes Ash laugh, reminding him of what it’s like to step beyond the boundaries of anxiety.

But Ash has been living in his own shadow for so long that he can’t see past the glitter to the light. Can a man who doesn’t trust himself ever trust in happiness? And how can a man who doesn’t believe in happiness ever fight for his own?

WARNING : This is a very personal review. Please don’t bother if you can’t stand those. Thank you.

I’ve been in Niall’s place. It’s not pretty. The kind of ugly that would make hate yourself if you weren’t that goddamn pissed. I’ve read so many beautiful and heartbreaking reviews of Glitterland that I started writing something along the lines of, no matter how hard I’ve been trying to find the words, they escape me.

Liar. I’m a freaking LIAR.

The words are there, they’re cutting through me, such ugly, ugly things. I’ve read my fair share of books about depression, whether they were idiotic romanticizing of it or heartbreaking journeys, but there’s something so important that nobody ever tells you. Nobody tells you how fucking angry you’d be if you had to witness someone you care about slowly burying himself. No. You read about how to be supportive, how to help, and everything sounds so fucking easy.

You don’t read about how worthless it makes you feel when your love is not enough.

You don’t read about the rage you can’t avoid when other people show understanding and you realize that you can’t, you can’t, you can’t anymore.

You’re a loveless, selfish shell.

You’re so ashamed because really, why can’t you do more, stand more, bear more puddles of blood, plaster on a smile and say that everything’s gonna be okay?

Are you so stripped of hope that you cannot see past this very moment, this 3am phone call that you know – you know – you have to answer no matter what?

Oh, yes. Yes you are. You’re just a fucking human being whose guilt is eating at every pore of itself, whose words are meaningless and worthless. Nobody wants to hear you, and you don’t want to hear you, because you don’t have a problem you don’t have a problem you don’t have a problem. That fucking guilt, though. Can’t you be any more selfish? You don’t own the right to cry, just to be strong.

Even now, years after, knowing she’s okay, writing this makes me want to curl up in a corner and shedding angry tears. Even now, I’m still afraid that my words will be misunderstood, a comforting, understanding smile ready to erase them. I’m still afraid of being judged.

But it took me years to realize that I was just human and that I didn’t deserve to be yelled at for that. It took me years to realize that she didn’t blame me for it and that no, I didn’t blame her, of course, but was just so fucking tired and scared. She knows I love her, and always will.

Fear will do that to you.

I refuse to hide behind my fears anymore.

If I cannot, and will never really understand what depression is, not because of a lack of empathy, but because witnessing it doesn’t mean understanding it, even if you want to, rare are the times when I read a book that captures the core of it and manages to make me approach understanding.

Glitterland is one of these books. That heartbreaking, beautiful book.

I will cherish it forever.

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