Month: October 2016 (Page 1 of 4)

BOOK REVIEW – Saint Death by Marcus Sedgwick

BOOK REVIEW – Saint Death by Marcus SedgwickSaint Death by Marcus Sedgwick
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

A potent, powerful and timely thriller about migrants, drug lords and gang warfare set on the US/Mexican border by PRINTZ MEDAL winning and CARNEGIE MEDAL, COSTA BOOK AWARD and GUARDIAN CHILDREN'S FICTION PRIZE shortlisted novelist, Marcus Sedgwick.

Anapra is one of the poorest neighbourhoods in the Mexican city of Juarez - twenty metres outside town lies a fence, and beyond it, America - the dangerous goal of many a migrant. Faustino is one such trying to escape from the gang he's been working for. He's dipped into a pile of dollars he was supposed to be hiding and now he's on the run. He and his friend, Arturo, have only 36 hours to replace the missing money, or they're as good as dead.

Watching over them is Saint Death. Saint Death (or Santissima Muerte) - she of pure bone and charcoal-black eye, she of absolute loyalty and neutral morality, holy patron to rich and poor, to prostitute and narco-lord, criminal and police-chief. A folk saint, a rebel angel, a sinister guardian.

I can’t escape it. I woke up this morning and it was the first thing in my mind. I do realize that I’m probably going to bore/offend/annoy some of you, but as much as I’m sorry about that, I can’t stay silent.

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At first, I found that I didn’t have much to say. Or perhaps I had so much to say and so little looking appropriate for this review at first glance – but maybe this is the mark of great books. Maybe there’s something magical about a book that makes your thoughts whirl endlessly. With Saint Death, Marcus Sedgwick manages to immerse the reader into the harsh life of Arturo, a young Mexican living near the border of the United States, between narco gangs and maquiladoras. We meet him just before the reappearance of Faustino, his best friend, is about to change his life.

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And I hear you – I hear you telling me that this is not a subject you want to deal with in your books. That you get enough of that in the news, thank you very much. However, as much as I get it, I genuinely think that we can’t afford to be blind anymore. We can’t. Not when so many people die every day to sustain our way of life. Not when we’re surrounded by biased reports and white privileges – call it as you want : western privileges, if you prefer, I don’t care, it’s living and brewing even when we don’t want to see it.

And I’m going to add something about France, again, and I’m sorry if you think that it’s not the point but I’m not really sorry because it shows, yes, it shows how fucking blind we became. Lately there are so many complains about the way foreigners and refugees are treated, as if they were stealing the bread out of Real French mouths’ and I want to vomit. We’re talking about a country where nobody knows how much a cancer treatment costs because it is free. We’re talking about a country where school is free from 3 to 16, where free medical care is offered to any unemployed person.

Let this sink in.

We’re talking about a country whose whole system is built upon solidarity – 9% of my salary pays for retirement pensions. Not for mine, but for the current retired people who paid for their fathers and grandmothers before me. For this system to work we need to trust others to do the same for us when time comes. I love this system. I don’t want to change it. I don’t want to pay for my pension and see less lucky people, who don’t have a stable job, slowly crumble when 65 comes. But one thing is sure : we won’t be able to sustain it if we’re too busy fighting over our little euros. If we’re too busy losing ourselves, our identity, over some selfish way of thinking. Because meanwhile, people are dying every day of awful living conditions, of poverty and of war and we let them and for what? FOR WHAT? Because it’s easier to stay blind and believe simplistic speeches than stop for one second and ask ourselves how can we look in the mirror every day and let people die? Because we don’t want to hear about it and start wondering what is so fucking special about us apart from our birth place?

I hate that nowadays, people who show basic human decency are called dumb, brainwashed liberals. Showing some kind of basic EMPATHY shouldn’t be political.

I hate that nowadays, you can’t express your fury and despair about the way the refugee crisis is handled without getting the sadly famous answer, “you can take them to your home if you’re so sad”.

THIS IS HARDLY THE POINT. I’m merely asking for my government to use the taxes I pay wisely, and by wisely I mean : yes, taking care of the refugees is an emergency.

I hate that people are feeling more offended over the 25€ per day that taking care of one refugee in an official center (in France) costs than the billions our politicians make every day while spreading cynical and hateful speeches.

I hate that I don’t recognize myself in my country anymore.

I hate that papers have to actually WRITE an article to remind people that no, it’s not okay to let insufferable comments under their news posts on Facebook.

I hate that so, so much.

I hate that we’re so fucking blind and selfish that thousands of deaths in the Mediterranean sea do not even create an electroshock effect on the European inhabitants.

I hate, hate, hate to read stupid comments comparing nowadays refugees to French people in 1940 and stating that “we stayed to fight”.

People. Please. It’s common knowledge that most French either collaborated or LET IT HAPPEN. The resistance fighters were amazing and deserve our recognition, but they weren’t that many before 1944/45.

I hate the ignorance that makes people say, “they’re not even from Syria! They’re from Soudan and Eritrea!” as if they were making some kind of point. HAVE YOU LOOKED AT WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE IN ERITREA AND SOUDAN TODAY? HAVE YOU?

I hate that 4,500 refugees out of a population of 65,000,000 is called an invasion.

I hate that reading Saint Death made me think, oh my god, there too, oh my god.

Yes, I’ve been drawing similarities from the first page of Saint Death. Admittedly, I know nothing of the way the general market works in America, but let me infer from what I read and notice how similar our situations are. Whether in the US or in Europe, we let big societies tell us that it’s okay to exploit people if it’s for our own benefice, that it’s okay if they earn billions because really, they must have deserved it, right? They took their fate into their hands, right? Who cares if their rules are so unfair it makes me want to throw up, right? I mean, poor people wouldn’t have any job without these big societies, right?

Right.

Well, I guess that the difference between France and the US is the general distrust we feel for big societies in general – but it changes nothing in the end.

We’re still letting people die at our doors and we’re washing our hands on it. More than the sole story of Arturo, as captivating and moving this story is, this is what Saint Death is about. This is also a really well-written and well-researched novel that draws you in and never lets you go. Please read it.

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FRIDAY STARS – Your Weekly Must Knows 10/28/16

FRIDAY STARS – Your Weekly Must Knows 10/28/16

Life:

I am happy to say that we are officially done with soccer for the season!  This last weekend was the final tournament which was Halloween themed.  It was hilarious watching them play in their costumes.  My son’s team dressed up as the ghosts in Pac-Man and the coaches wore huge Pac-Man colored cardboard costumes.  Not only did they win first place for best team costume but they also won first place in the tournament, woot!  It started at 9am, didn’t finish till after 3pm and they played 7 games.  I thought that was a little crazy for 5-6 year olds but I’m sports clueless (unless it has to do with snowboarding, surfing or wakeboarding) so I guess that’s the norm?  I’m so excited that we have free Wednesday evenings and Saturday afternoons woohoo!  Well, that is until the next sport starts…… ♥

In case you aren’t familiar with our Friday Star Posts, we like to take a look at what’s happened around here in the last week, what’s coming up that we are excited about and anything else that we may have to share!

♥ Enjoy!

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Just Finished and Loved:

still-life-with-tornado-a-s-kingStill Life with Tornado by A.S King Anna’s Review

4.5 Stars! I would say that I was pleasantly surprised, except it would be a lie : A.S. King is so constantly good at dealing with somewhat common issues. Her stories are just my kind of weird and manage to hit me all the same. Of course I recommend.

Sixteen-year-old Sarah can’t draw. This is a problem, because as long as she can remember, she has “done the art.” She thinks she’s having an existential crisis. And she might be right; she does keep running into past and future versions of herself as she wanders the urban ruins of Philadelphia. Or maybe she’s finally waking up to the tornado that is her family, the tornado that six years ago sent her once-beloved older brother flying across the country for a reason she can’t quite recall. After decades of staying together “for the kids” and building a family on a foundation of lies and domestic violence, Sarah’s parents have reached the end. Now Sarah must come to grips with years spent sleepwalking in the ruins of their toxic marriage. As Sarah herself often observes, nothing about her pain is remotely original—and yet it still hurts.

 
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the-scorpion-rules-coverThe Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace #1) by Erin BowAnna’s Review

4.5 Stars! This book was crazy and NASTY (There’s TORTURE) and also super weird BUT I loved every second of it.

Greta is a Duchess and a Crown Princess. She is also a Child of Peace, a hostage held by the de facto ruler of the world, the great Artificial Intelligence, Talis. This is how the game is played: if you want to rule, you must give one of your children as a hostage. Start a war and your hostage dies.
The system has worked for centuries. Parents don’t want to see their children murdered.
Greta will be free if she can make it to her eighteenth birthday. Until then she is prepared to die with dignity, if necessary. But everything changes when Elian arrives at the Precepture. He’s a hostage from a new American alliance, and he defies the machines that control every part of their lives—and is severely punished for it. His rebellion opens Greta’s eyes to the brutality of the rules they live under, and to the subtle resistance of her companions. And Greta discovers her own quiet power.
Then Elian’s country declares war on Greta’s and invades the prefecture, taking the hostages hostage. Now the great Talis is furious, and coming himself to deliver punishment. Which surely means that Greta and Elian will be killed…unless Greta can think of a way to break all the rules.

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3 Stars:
To Love and to Cherish (The Wedding Belles #3) by Lauren Layne → Jen’s Review

1 Stars:
One Day Soon (One Day Soon #1) by A. Meredith Walters → Anna’s Review 

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We also had a Rambling post that IMO hilarious!  You can check out Anna’s post about 24 Hours Into an European Blogger’s Life (+ GIVEAWAY)  here.

 

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Reading Next:

carve-the-mark-veronica-roth Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth
On a planet where violence and vengeance rule, in a galaxy where some are favored by fate, everyone develops a currentgift, a unique power meant to shape the future. While most benefit from their currentgifts, Akos and Cyra do not—their gifts make them vulnerable to others’ control. Can they reclaim their gifts, their fates, and their lives, and reset the balance of power in this world?
Cyra is the sister of the brutal tyrant who rules the Shotet people. Cyra’s currentgift gives her pain and power—something her brother exploits, using her to torture his enemies. But Cyra is much more than just a blade in her brother’s hand: she is resilient, quick on her feet, and smarter than he knows.
Akos is from the peace-loving nation of Thuvhe, and his loyalty to his family is limitless. Though protected by his unusual currentgift, once Akos and his brother are captured by enemy Shotet soldiers, Akos is desperate to get his brother out alive—no matter what the cost. When Akos is thrust into Cyra’s world, the enmity between their countries and families seems insurmountable. They must decide to help each other to survive—or to destroy one another.

 

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infinity-jus-accardo Infinity (The Infinity Division #1) by Jus Accardo
There are three things Kori knows for sure about her life:
One: Her army general dad is insanely overprotective.
Two: The guy he sent to watch her, Cade, is way too good-looking.
Three: Everything she knew was a lie.
Now there are three things Kori never knew about her life:
One: There’s a device that allows her to jump dimensions.
Two: Cade’s got a lethal secret.
Three: Someone wants her dead.

 

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Upcoming Releases:

the-diabolic-s-j-kincaid The Diabolic by S.J. Kincaid (Releases 11/01)
Nemesis is a Diabolic, a humanoid teenager created to protect a galactic senator’s daughter, Sidonia. The two have grown up side by side, but are in no way sisters. Nemesis is expected to give her life for Sidonia, and she would do so gladly. She would also take as many lives as necessary to keep Sidonia safe.
When the power-mad Emperor learns Sidonia’s father is participating in a rebellion, he summons Sidonia to the Galactic court. She is to serve as a hostage. Now, there is only one way for Nemesis to protect Sidonia. She must become her. Nemesis travels to the court disguised as Sidonia—a killing machine masquerading in a world of corrupt politicians and two-faced senators’ children. It’s a nest of vipers with threats on every side, but Nemesis must keep her true abilities a secret or risk everything.
As the Empire begins to fracture and rebellion looms closer, Nemesis learns there is something more to her than just deadly force. She finds a humanity truer than what she encounters from most humans. Amidst all the danger, action, and intrigue, her humanity just might be the thing that saves her life—and the empire.

 

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infinity-jus-accardo Infinity (The Infinity Division #1) by Jus Accardo (Releases 11/01)
There are three things Kori knows for sure about her life:
One: Her army general dad is insanely overprotective.
Two: The guy he sent to watch her, Cade, is way too good-looking.
Three: Everything she knew was a lie.
Now there are three things Kori never knew about her life:
One: There’s a device that allows her to jump dimensions.
Two: Cade’s got a lethal secret.
Three: Someone wants her dead.

 
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You can check out the rest of the books that we can’t wait to release → HERE

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Sales:

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Jen’s Review

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Laura’s Review

Anna’s Review

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BOOK REVIEW – One Day Soon (One Day Soon #1) by A. Meredith Walters

BOOK REVIEW – One Day Soon (One Day Soon #1) by A. Meredith WaltersOne Day Soon (One Day Soon #1)
by A. Meredith Walters
Purchase on: Amazon
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

He found me in blood and tears.
I stayed with him through darkness and fire.

We loved each other in the moment between innocence and bitter truth.
We were the kids easily ignored, who grew into adults we hardly knew.

We weren’t meant to last forever. And we didn’t.

He ran away.
I tried to move on.

Yet I never stopped thinking about the boy who had fought to keep me alive in a world that would have swallowed me whole. He was the past that I buried, but never forgot.

Until the day I found him again, years after believing I had lost him forever.

And in cold, resentful eyes, I saw the heart of the man who had been everything when I had nothing at all. So I vowed to hold onto the second chance that was stolen from the children we had been.

Sometimes fate is ugly. Life can be twisted.
And who we are can be ruined by who we once were.

For two people who had survived so much, we would have to learn how to hold on before we were forced to let go.

► DNF. Because. This. Gives. Me. An. Headache.

THIS :

“He smiled and I smiled. It was sort of contagious.”

That… is what contagious means.

“He laughed and it was real and true and I felt it absolutely everywhere.”

NO SHIT. Please give specifics.

“He had been my moon. My stars. My everything when I had nothing at all.”

*snorts* *feels like a cold-hearted bitch* *snorts again*

I’m sorry, but this is horribly written – it’s formulaic, cheesy, eye-roll-worthy material.

“Karla was giving me the ubiquitous once over I was used to from other females. (…) [She] gave me a nasty look, which I returned blankly.”

Oh, isn’t that nice? A little girl hate action utterly uncalled for! (Also WTF at females really???!)

Also, THIS :

“What had I ever done to him to deserve this kind of reception? When had his love transformed into this?”

OMG! I know this one!! This, my girl, is what we call The Big Misunderstanding. Don’t worry, you’ll get over it, but you’ll have to annoy the fuck out of me for 200 pages before you reach your Happily Ever After.

► Oh, fuck this. I can’t do it. Please, do me a favor and remind me to stop trying this author, because she’s definitely not for me.

BOOK REVIEW – The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace #1) by Erin Bow

BOOK REVIEW – The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace #1) by Erin BowThe Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace #1)
by Erin Bow
Purchase on: AmazoniBooks
Add to: Goodreads

Synopsis:

The children of world leaders are held hostage in an attempt to keep the peace in this “slyly humorous, starkly thought-provoking” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review) novel.

Greta is a Duchess and a Crown Princess. She is also a Child of Peace, a hostage held by the de facto ruler of the world, the great Artificial Intelligence, Talis. This is how the game is played: if you want to rule, you must give one of your children as a hostage. Start a war and your hostage dies.

The system has worked for centuries. Parents don’t want to see their children murdered.

Greta will be free if she can make it to her eighteenth birthday. Until then she is prepared to die with dignity, if necessary. But everything changes when Elian arrives at the Precepture. He’s a hostage from a new American alliance, and he defies the machines that control every part of their lives—and is severely punished for it. His rebellion opens Greta’s eyes to the brutality of the rules they live under, and to the subtle resistance of her companions. And Greta discovers her own quiet power.

Then Elian’s country declares war on Greta’s and invades the prefecture, taking the hostages hostage. Now the great Talis is furious, and coming himself to deliver punishment. Which surely means that Greta and Elian will be killed...unless Greta can think of a way to break all the rules.

Welcome to my Unpopular Opinion Review of the month! (alright, I’m writing “unpopular opinion” reviews more often than that, BUT let’s be honest, usually it’s the other way around). What this means is : if you hated The Scorpion Rules, you might find me too lenient. Hello you! If you loved The Scorpion Rules, you might be happy to hear that no, you’re not alone. Hello you! If you haven’t read The Scorpion Rules, what are you waiting for? Hurry up and come back to tell me which category you fall into!

“Borders straines, checkpoints broke, and of course people started shooting, because that what passes for problem-solving among humans. See, guys, this is why you can’t have nice things.”

This is part of the prologue and I already knew that I would love it at this point.

So. Guys. I’ve read a lot that there wasn’t any plot… and I’m going to politely disagree. Nothing happens is such a subjective thing, when you think about it. For me there’s a difference between a lack of big events and a lack of progression. There IS a progression and nothing was irrelevant in my opinion. Of course, most of the first half deals with the Children of Peace’s everyday life and that life is weird. I mean, there are goats and harvests and a lot of zucchini? (you might be worried at this point – DON’T)

The truth is, I can see why people would complain about this but I thought that it was incredibly well done. What annoys me in dystopian is : they’re unrealistic (random couple saves the world for some reason), more often than not they’re devoid of any world building (if you don’t count “standard tyrant took over the world because he’s evil” and… I don’t, sorry but it’s not a WORLD-BUILDING, it’s A SIMPLISTIC SUMMARY OF WHAT HAPPENS EVERY DAY)

In The Scorpion Rules, it makes sense. THIS IS LIFE. THEIR LIFE. Of course it’s relevant! Not to mention that it made for the BEST built-up. This book was crazy and NASTY (There’s TORTURE) and also super weird BUT I loved every second of it. It took my breath away – and I didn’t need big explosions to do so (even if they were fun hehe). It may have gone forward quietly, but it never lost its tension.

(this is the moment when my dear friends who hated it shake their head while murmuring “but the goats!”)

(and it will probably be the only time I’ll get to write this in a review but in my opinion, the goats were necessary to get the sense of what their world became. Oh my God, I love goats.)

1) I loved Elian almost instantly, and I’m not even ashamed. Because you know what? Even though I know that he’s supposed to incarnate The Bad Boy New To School ™, by no means can he be restricted to this stereotype. HE IS MORE : fleshed out and brave and a coward and he doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up even when mechanical spiders are scrawling all over him and electrocuting him (ow!). He’s also loyal and charming and LOST. POOR BABY.

2) TALIS!!!! Give me a book in which I can LOVE the villain and you’ll get a win almost every time. Think Deadpool on crack (I know, it’s mind-blowing)(except, Talis actually, I don’t know, win sometimes?) Seriously guys, I was cracking up at the prologue without even knowing that the narrator would be a character (and at this point, my understanding of the world was nearly inexistent). The ruler of the world, who thinks that blowing up cities is fair game, whom we should hate, shows such a likeable personality, so damn sarcastic and funny, that we CANNOT hate him. Not for one second we cannot. Give him some slack! He’s only acting for the greater good… I think?

3) Sure, Greta wasn’t the most interesting character to read about, given that she was brainwashed into being a dull, nerd princess, BUT I completely bought her character, and that’s saying something. Dull she was at first, yet I loved seeing her opening her fucking eyes and standing up for her friends. YOU GO GIRL.

Oh, how that (mostly unimportant aspect) was hated! First thing first : you need to know that the romance didn’t affect most of 15 pages out of the whole book. I’d say that it’s not enough to spoil the entire book if you don’t like it, BUT sometimes one sentence can make me rage SO I won’t be this person and disrespect that.

This said, here’s what I think : Well, I think that our knowledge of the tropes make us reject anything that comes close to a love triangle and in my opinion it’s pretty… frightening to see that we’re so damn used to them that we analyze novels through their lens without even realizing it.

Look : There’s this boy whose arrival is disruptive for the plot, so of course we expect him to be a love interest. What I mean is that in our head, we tick the love interest box. Is there something in the book, at this point, that actually implies it? Fuck no, but we don’t need it, we just know it. Then when he’s not a love interest – or, rather, when the situation reveals to be more complicated than that – we yell love triangle because really what else could it be?! Well it’s not. No, in my opinion it’s not. Yes, the MC kisses two different characters, but I don’t have in me to restrain this situation to a love triangle as we generally understand it, that is to say some dumb girl who’s hesitating through 3 books between Love Interest #1 (the Golden Boy) and Love Interest #2 (the Bad Boy), and whose whole behavior and decisions revolve around that fucking choice.

Try complex relationships instead. Friendship. Empathy.

See, I was talking to my dear Chelsea about it, and I told her this : since WHEN do I need for a character to be a love interest to love him? SINCE WHEN? Well, since every fucking character in every fucking YA book taught me that their personality would be ruined if they weren’t love interest because THEY WOULD NOT MATTER. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of characters I love in YA who aren’t any kind of love interest, and for me it shows that there is a problem with YA. I used to ADORE characters who aren’t romancey at all. Thank you Erin Bow for reminding me that.

My friend Laura said that she didn’t so much see a love triangle but a fullness of love. I’m stealing that line. What love indeed. Who needs labels? I don’t.

Can I just say something? I didn’t feel an ounce of romantic chemistry between Greta and Xie. Sorry, OKAY? I just didn’t. I wish I had, but what you gonna do. Oh, well. There’s barely even romance anyway. FRIENDSHIP is what matters, NOT BEING BLOWED-UP is what matters, so I’d say that it’s not a really important flaw in my book.

► Honestly? Such a good surprise, I cannot wait to see where the story goes.

RAMBLINGS – 24 Hours Into an European Blogger’s Life (+ GIVEAWAY)

europeanblogger1

Hey guys! Welcome to the Wonderful World of European Blogging on American Plateforms ™ or should I say the Wonderful World of Blogging About English Books in a Non-English Country™. You’ll love it. I swear.

More seriously, I shouldn’t feel obligated to say it, but as I’m well-aware of the Rude™ label many people put on the French shoulders (not entirely undeserved, but this is another story for another day), I’ll start by renewing my faith in (wow, creepy) reminding everyone that I love blogging about books and talking with book lovers from all around the world – no matter how much some little things annoy me.

I’ll talk about these little things today.

TRIGGER WARNING : Any resemblance to a whiny person is completely intentional.

10am

While editing a post on your blog, you’ve noticed that something wasn’t quite right : either the pictures won’t load, or your …. Alright, those of you who run a blog know that it could be anything, really. Anyway. So what tips did you learn at school for when you’re stuck on something? No, not asking the teacher, the other thing that made her breathe easily : you ask a friend, of course! Team work and all that jazz. The thing is, when you’re running a blog about English books, your co-bloggers most likely live thousands of miles away. Hours away.

10 AM in Paris = 4 AM in Indiana = 1 AM in Nevada.

Well, I’m not a jerk who feels entitled to get an answer in the middle of the night, SO. I’ll have to wait (and probably find the answer alone, so spamming the blog thread with my questions then answers then never mind, I found it! texts).

11am

Let’s say that I want to read Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta during my vacations. Where do I start? Bookstores, of course. Unfortunately, after 1 hour of thoroughly searching for English books in my bookstore (in any bookstore except if you live in Paris/are fucking lucky/want to read Shakespeare or Steinbeck), I had to face the facts : French bookstores don’t sell English books, and when they do, they’ll most likely be classics.

So of course I thought, hey! Amazon is your friend! (well *coughs* except if you take the fact that they don’t pay any taxes in your country into account *coughs* who cares if they’re the best at disloyal deals *coughs* taxes and good employment conditions are overrated anyway right? *suffocates*)

europeanblogger_kindle

europeanblogger_kindle2

“European country” is such a weird concept anyway. Let’s confuse them, because really, who the fuck cares

2pm

tours

Yep, that’s right. Your favorite authors won’t fly to you, and most publishers won’t consider you because…. rights are a bitch. But moving on.

5pm

Don’t you hate it when you’ve done everything you had to do to enter a giveaway, only to realize that the US ONLY tag didn’t mean “us, the book lovers” but more “US, you just wasted your time”? Because I do. EUROPE ONLY is such a rare tag that I’ve decided to run my own giveaway and offer you not one, but two of my favorite novels on paperback, The Raven Boys and The Dream Thieves (RONAN! Ronan is life) by Maggie Stiefvater and a signed postcard. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

8pm

But fear no more! Living in a Non English speaking country when reviewing is not so bleak. Indeed you can learn wonderful skills thanks to it!

1) You ROCK at devises change : what, now you know that 10$ means “a little less than 10€, I’d say 9€ but really I’m not sure,where is the paypal change widget when you need it”. Wonderful. Just wonderful. (Alright. It’s 9,16896 . You’re welcome.)

2) When you’re texting your real life friends, you frequently use LMAO even though they don’t know what it means. Fuck! (← they always know what that means) Anyway, you’re twice as likely to confuse the hell out of your friends and coworkers. Isn’t it awesome? Here’s some French abbreviations for you if you want to … Well, I’m not sure why you would want them, but oh well.

mdr = Literally, “dead by laughing”, because we’re fun like that.

tkt = Literally, “you worry”, buuuuut it means the opposite : “don’t worry”

pk/pq/pkoi = Whyyyyyyyy do French can’t bloody agree on anything? (It’s “why”)

stp = “please” when talking to a friend (otherwise, for your boss, it will be svp)

dsl = sorry for being a jerk (okay, just “sorry”)

VDM = (my personal favorite) You know when you’re late for work, shoved by an asshole who doesn’t even apologize and you ruin your clothes by spreading coffee all over them? Well, it’s VDM. Literally, “FML”.

3) You regularly pause while speaking French to wonder how the fuck do we say that word in…. French. Yikes.

3am

… but when you have wonderful friends on the other side of the Atlantic, not sleeping at night does not look so horrible <3

So, tell me : can you recognize yourself in some of these situations, or am I really a whiny bitch*? Answer in comments!

* I’m not sure I really want to know if that’s the case, mdr (← HA!)

Giveaway background and bird images from Vecteezy.

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